Commited2Change

So im on day four and my mind has been boggled with thoughts of regret.. Learning lessons from those regretful experiences and also random visions of hope. I constantly am reminding myself that im not a bad guy .. Im a sick one and i must continue on this road of recovery to be a great one.

My addiction is such an annoying *****!! Lol . Every time i plan in my head something positive i want to achieve he constantly reminds me of how I've screwed it up before or why it will never happen. Im to the point where i am literally talking out loud to myself to convince myself that the doubt or shame i feel is nothing but lies from the evil forces that try to limit us all.

Someone tell me im not crazy!! Lol * paces the room back and forth biting fingernail*

Sapling

You're not crazy....You just need to work on getting better...It takes time and WORK....Don't pick up and don't ever give up.

Scoob720

I to get the lies pouring in from every possible angle. Asking myself how am I gonna eat out and not drink? The Superbowl? That is like the biggest drinking day of the year. I have to g one day at a time. Sometimes even one hour at a time. Once the lies are exposed , I think we will begin to win this war over them.

Hang tough
Scoob

SIPD

Your not crazy...your an alcoholic just like me and everyone else here...your addict voice will always tell you those things however, it is up to us on how we choose to live from here on out...I still hear them too but now I know what they are...keep reading and keep posting....im currently not quite at 2 weeks...

MemphisBlues

Hey, it's day 4 and you can type. That's a far bigger accomplishment than I dared attempt.

Just hang on. Dig your fingertips into the bed mattress if you have to, grip hard, just hang on.

If you're getting over the physical aspect, the head games will drive you crazy, but they pass. Just tell yourself that every 15 minutes -- this will pass. If you're like me early on, after those 15 minutes what you were worrying about will fade and something new will pop into your head. But, hey...it will just last another 15 minutes.

After a few weeks of the above, I tripped into an AA meeting. It might help you.

Natom

We're not bad people trying to be good. We're sick people trying to get well. You're not crazy. Your head is just exploding from years or repressed memories and emotions. They do go down. You just have to work through them.

Natom.

jennikate

I know it's hard but living in the moment worked for me at first. While eventually you have to deal with the past, you are much too raw at this point to even try. Not realizing this lead to a few relapses on my part. I just couldn't deal with the emotions of guilt and shame that came with sobriety. Once I let go of the past and concentrated on the now, I was able to stay sober.

ChooseSobriety

Hello there not crazy one ;-) Wow on day four that's way cool. I find regret and guilt to be very useful tools, however for me lying around feeling regret or guilt from the past does not help me over the long term, however being willing to looks at those feelings and learn from them is very healthy. The past for me at times and still to this day is like an anchor.

Just think you have been sober 4 days. I recall just wondering how I would be able to make it sober just 1 day.

For me my addiction/s ;-) are just habitual choices and choices are there for me every minute and second of my day. You have chosen to begin a journey of sobriety which very much so tells me that you are not crazy :-)

I have discovered that by making the choice to change my life and being willing to look at my crap/crazy behavior/me is the most self-empowering choice that I made over 15 years ago.

The most important thing that I have discovered about myself is that my choice machine needed a rebuild. We're glad you are here.

Have a fantastic day and choose wisely!

Lots of love

CS

Commited2Change

Wow! What a way to start the day. Thanks guys.. I will def re read this thread thru out the day...

gall1972

When I think of things I did drunk I sit and call myself names. If I am driving down the road and have flashbacks I scream out loud... "you piece of **** .. you worthless piece of ****.. I hate you" and so onnnnnn...

This screaming out loud at flashbacks has been a part of my withdraws every single time.

My drinking buddy lives right across the street. I can look out my window and see his house. He is a normal drinking and it pisses me off. I do everything to avoid seeing him and his wife. I sometimes feel like a prisoner in my own house .... drives me stir crazy.

I'm day 4 today too... and at this rate I'm going to be day 4 all day ... even if I have to scream out loud.....

Mark75

You are not crazy....

Like Sapling said... you got some work to do... Don't just wait for the day you just wake up like magic and all the shame disappears... that is unreliable... Start your recovery!! Make it happen!! There are lots of ways... but I found that the 12 steps of AA was a powerful and effective antidote to what I was feeling early on in recovery...

Lionhearted1

Iam not sick or diseased i just cant drink alcohol my body is alergic to it just like some people cant eat peanuts does not make them sick or crazy..

sobrietygrl4

Wow, how true this is for me!! Everything is out in the open for me - in the newspaper, no less! No more hiding (or thinking that I'm hiding). It's scary, I'm in a huge mess of trouble, and yet I'm more hopeful than I have been in a decade. This is a war for me, and one that I will win.