Melacole

Today is day one for me and this is very hard. I have been in and out of recovery since I was 19...I am now 35 and every time I quit it gets tougher and tougher. I am a secret drinker- my family and friends think I quit over a year ago, but I drink just about daily now. I want to go to meetings but because of my profession it would be very awkward for me and the people I supervise on probation. I can't go to treatment groups because I work with all them on a professional level and it would be a conflict. I have been thinking of finding someone that specializes in addiction therapy that I can work with one on one. I need help and I need support but I don't know where to start...which may sound weird given all of the "starts" I have had. I don't know what else to say right now, but thank you to anyone reading this. ~Melanie

Coldfusion

Melanie--

You'll find lots of support here, and if you look around a lot of answers too.

Dee74

Hi melacole

SR certainly helped me - the support here is incredible. I found it great to realise I wasn't alone, that others understood and I had a community I could be a part of, and be accountable to.

There's also things like Rational Recovery - no meetings, just a book.

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach like that....

I hope you'll find success this way - welcome

D

sugarbear1

If you call the AA intergroup office, ask them about meetings for professionals in your area of expertise. I know that Washington, D.C. has many meetings for specific groups of professions.

There are other options, too:

Rational Recovery
AVRT
SMART
Life Ring
Power to Quit
Women for Sobriety

all with their own websites.

I wish you well on you sober journey!

Hugs,

Melacole

Thank you for the well wishes and suggestions. Very helpful!

2granddaughters

Hello Melanie:
If you are a professional and have been around (and in) recovery for years you know what you need to do.

My AA home group has the chief of police, the minister, the priest, our most expensive criminal lawyer and the family doctor along with lots of businessmen and tradespeople.

You know where the answer is for you, it may be time to put that answer at the top of your "to do" list where it belongs.

I wish you the best.

Bob R.

desertsong

I live in a small town and you'd be surprised who shows up at our meetings ... probation counselors, law enforcement officers, lawyers, doctors ... even substance abuse counselors. We "get" them and they "get" us. There is no shame in attending AA, only experience, strength and hope. No one is immune from this disease ... not even people who are "supposed" to know a lot about it. One of our home group members runs an outpatient treatment center ... he's been sober over 30 years but still goes to meetings. I think that's awesome.

ru12

Hi mel. There are lots of options. I understand about your reserve at attending AA meetings. The second 'A' sometimes just isn't. Reading and posting here has helped me.

andisa

Isn't the secrecy awful? I've always hidden my use, thinking I can't expose anything, but truth is, after playing the "I can't tell anyone" game for so many years, I know that if I exposed it, I'd have tipped my hand, and my option to use would be restricted. Secrecy is a veil we hide behind.

Any "I can'ts" are actually, I won'ts. You can do anything you choose, including recovery, including drinking every day and hiding it.

Like you, I've had many stops and starts over decades of use. I hide it every time I start again, and usually keep hiding it from there. The reality is, if you honestly want to quit, you'll do whatever you need to do to take the first step and keep stepping forward on that path. Don't be afraid of exposure, unless your intent is to keep secretly using. It's not a crime to be an addict, the only rule you're violating is your own integrity and peace of mind.

artsoul

Welcome Melacole!

Congrats one day 1! I know what you mean about it getting harder and harder to quit. I had two long relapses, and it was definitely much harder to get sober after the last one.

Just focus on staying sober today and be good to yourself..... you don't necessarily have to make a decision about AA today. Glad you're here - this place gave me a lot of strength and hope when I didn't have any!:ghug3

Melacole

I found a couple of women's groups nearby....I will be going tomorrow or Friday after work depending on the meeting times. Thanks for the suggestions, support, and reality checks.