Fell off the wagon
Fell off the wagon
Well, I had two and half years sober, and I slipped up last night -- I got drunk. I am feeling awful now, and scared that it happened and scared that it will happen again. I am having bad anxiety and guilt, along with the other physical pain of the hangover.
I thought I could drink moderately. I am afraid that it is too strong for me, and I will end up being a drunk. But the two and half years of sobriety I had was so great. Hate to think that I completely lost that.
I thought I could drink moderately. I am afraid that it is too strong for me, and I will end up being a drunk. But the two and half years of sobriety I had was so great. Hate to think that I completely lost that.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
you have lost nothing on the contrary. learn from this and don't beat yourself up. I am one that doesn't pay to much attention of how long in days. Sober now and happy is what counts! Get back up and just resume where you left. take care
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 762
Dear thisisforellie,
912.5 days of success (AMAZING!!)
1 day of disappointment and I am sure it hurt BUT! it sounds like you are back on track...so be kind to yourself.
Nine Hundred and Twelve and a half days is incredible!
My brother has relapsed off and on over the years but he has been a lot more off than on and just puts his head down and keeps calm and carries on :>)
All the best to you.
Val
912.5 days of success (AMAZING!!)
1 day of disappointment and I am sure it hurt BUT! it sounds like you are back on track...so be kind to yourself.
Nine Hundred and Twelve and a half days is incredible!
My brother has relapsed off and on over the years but he has been a lot more off than on and just puts his head down and keeps calm and carries on :>)
All the best to you.
Val
I was in AA for most of the 2.5 years, but then sort of stopped going. This year has been rough -- I lost my younger brother and then my grandmother in the last two months. I didn't drink around those events, but it just pilled up.
Otherwise, I stayed sober by taking it one day at a time. It felt easy. Sadly, that illusion is shattered now.
Otherwise, I stayed sober by taking it one day at a time. It felt easy. Sadly, that illusion is shattered now.
I once had 5.5 years and relapsed. I thought that after all that time I could drink like a normal person. Wrong.
What I found out was that it was a lot harder to quit again after my relapse. Actually I could quit, I just couldn't stay quit. I be sober for 2 or 3 weeks, then drink for a couple of days. The sober for a month, then drunk again. This went on for a year before I finally gave up trying to manage things by myself, and went to AA.
What I found out was that it was a lot harder to quit again after my relapse. Actually I could quit, I just couldn't stay quit. I be sober for 2 or 3 weeks, then drink for a couple of days. The sober for a month, then drunk again. This went on for a year before I finally gave up trying to manage things by myself, and went to AA.
Sorry to hear about your relapse, Ellie. I've heard your story so many times - "I think I can drink moderately" - and it never, ever works. It shows the power of the drug and the addiction that, even after 2.5 years (or, like a friend of mine in rehab, over 5 years), the urge to drink is still there. Learn from this and move on and use it as a lesson as to the devious nature of alcohol. Best of luck to you in 2013!
I had 3 yrs. once, decided I could have 'a few' and kept going for 7 yrs. You've caught yourself right away - I think you should be proud of that. Nothing's been lost - in fact, now you'll be even more determined to stay the course.
We're glad you've joined us - keep posting.
We're glad you've joined us - keep posting.
Really? Where have you ever read that long term abstinence gives most addicts the ability to drink responsibly and in moderation?
You sure that wasn't your addiction rationalizing why you should drink?
You chose to drink. Figure out why you made the choice and learn from it.
You sure that wasn't your addiction rationalizing why you should drink?
You chose to drink. Figure out why you made the choice and learn from it.
I did the same thing, many times. I just wasn't willing to admit that willpower alone was no defense against alcoholism. I didn't understand back then. Some never do. We are very fortunate to have another chance at this.
What you just wrote is very true and I'll be honest, it absolutely baffles me as to why it is so for some...right to the grave.
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