ickytrip

Hello my name is Jennifer! My brother is 23 yr old Heroin addict. He has been using a variety of substances since he was 17 from Klonopin, Vicodin,Crack etc. Just a side note- Heroin addicts are not always skinny "druggies". My brother was in the honor roll society, captain of the football team, and an all state bowler....just so that you know this disease can attack anyone. He has recently been released from rehab. I believe he has relapsed and started using again.I have done quite a bit of research regarding this disease in an effort to gain understanding the effects of the drug, early prevention and how to support recovery efforts. My mother is the definition of codependent enabler and makes jokes or excuses for his changing behavior.The first week and half home was great! Talking of god, being humble, the change he felt, weight gain, positive attitude. Two day's before Christmas eve I noticed him sleeping A LOT, not attending his NA meetings,moody, I found 3 water bottles in his room, his face is un shaven again and breaking out, caught lying, and restarted his old fb account. I confronted him asking about a possible emotional/physical relapse. He was VERY defensive and angry with me. Am I wrong about his relapse? What should we do as a family if he has relapsed? He is on probation for B & E of a family members house and stealing wedding rings. Also I have a 14 mos who visits her gram frequently which makes me very close to this situation whereas my sister won't even listen when it comes to this subject. Between my brothers addiction, my parents codependency and my involvement is starting to heavily affect my family life with my soon to be husband. Any insight would be much appreciated

4WWWW

Hey there, dont know much about heroin or hard core drugs. Alcohol was my choice. It sounds like your brother is lucky to have you. Some members here on site should be able to help.

GoodLuck!

Lyoness

The situation doesn't sound good but your brother is lucky to have you. Maybe post on the Family and Friends of Substance Users thread. You'll find folks who have experience like yours and can help.

Take care.

OneDayAtATyme

I have a 23 year old recovering Heroin addict daughter. You know what your "gut" feeling is saying. You are probably right. I learned so much when my daughter was in rehab. I know I was my daughters Enabler. This will NEVER happen again. My saying to her is I will LOVE you forever BUT I wont LOVE you to DEATH.. My father and step mother are enablers they "think" since she's been clean for 28 months and did 9 months of rehab she will be OK. I have tried and tried to explain there is NO guarantee she won't ever go back. My daughter herself has said to ALL of us PLEASE DONT EVER TRUST ME AGAIN 100%.. I feel for you. Addiction is very very strong. I know in my situation I have said and mean it with my whole heart. IF she ever goes back to that life style I will love her from afar. I will not allow her to be in the home with her sister and brothers and niece. She wont be able to come visit. I refuse to subject innocent lives with a bad choice someone else has made. People so many times choose to "ignore" the facts and the warning signs. I'm glad u are educating yourself. Maybe print off some "facts" about addiction and give it to your parents. I know I STILL get very upset when I see her Papa and Nana kissing her butt because they have NO clue the harm they can be doing. Manipulation is a addicts best way of living even as a recovering addict. I know when my daughter was in rehab I shut her phone off, I unfriended ALL her friends on facebook and the closed the account. She knew when she came home there was NO more OLD behaviors happening in my home. She knew she couldnt be friends with her old drug friends. Thats the main thing you have to watch for OLD behaviors to come out. ONE time I saw her act in a rage in the past 28 months and I drove my butt to the Rite-aid and bought a home drug test. She had NO problem taking it in from on me (it was clean thank God) She knows at anytime I can and will ask her to pee for a drug test if I am worried. This is why rehab is so important they EDUCATE they teach so many things. I went for over 9 months with her and I am SO glad I did because I myself needed that "SLAP" in the face about trusting her and enabling her. Here is a poem maybe you can print it off and share it with your family. I will be praying for you and your family. God Bless xoxo

Hello, my name is DRUGS - I destroy homes, tear families apart, take your children, and that's just the start. I'm more costly than diamonds, more costly than gold, the sorrow I bring is a sight to behold. And if you need me, remember I'm easily found, I live all around you, in schools and in town. I live with the rich, I live with the poor, I live down the street, and maybe next door. My power is awesome; try me, you'll see. But if you do, you may NEVER break free. Just try me once and I might let you go, but try me twice, and I'll own your soul. When I possess you, you'll steal and you'll lie. You do what you have to just to get high. The crimes you'll commit, for my narcotic charms will be worth the pleasure you'll feel in my arms. You'll lie to your mother; you'll steal from your dad. When you see their tears, you should feel sad. But you'll forget your morals and how you were raised, I'll be your conscience,I'll teach you my ways. I take kids from parents, and parents from kids, I turn people from god, and separate friends. I'll take everything from you, your looks and your pride, I'll be with you always, right by your side. You'll give up everything... your family, your home... your friends, your money, then you'll be alone. I'll take and take, till you have nothing more to give. When I'm finished with you you'll be lucky to live. If you try me be warned this is no game. If given the chance, I'll drive you insane. I'll ravish your body; I'll control your mind. I'll own you completely; your soul will be mine. The nightmares I'll give you while lying in bed, the voices you'll hear from inside your head. The sweats, the shakes, the visions you'll see; I want you to know, these are all gifts from me. But then it's too late, and you'll know in your heart, that you are mine, and we shall not part. You'll regret that you tried me, they always do, but you came to me, not I to you. You knew this would happen. Many times you were told, but you challenged my power, and chose to be bold. You could have said no, and just walked away. If you could live that day over, now what would you say? I'll be your master; you will be my slave, I'll even go with you, when you go to your grave. Now that you have met me , what will you do? Will you try me or not? Its all up to you. I can bring you more misery than words can tell. Come take my hand, LET ME LEAD YOU TO HELL.

ickytrip

Thank you so much for all of your encourging replies! I have decided after the first of the year to see a counselor for some of these issues. As far as Jason goes for now I think I need to love him from a far while he is working through his relapse. I wish each and everyone of you the best and I can't give you enough credit for fighting each day!!!Congrats each day on your recovery