Need help/advice
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3
Need help/advice
I have a serious very long-term relationship with a man that I believe has an addiction to pain meds. He has severe arthritis and knee joint issues, which have needed surgery several years now. But he is afraid that he will be forced to retire after that because of loss of mobility,.... and he won't be able to do some of the things he likes to do.
I confronted him, but he denies it.
He constantly is fidgeting,.... can't be still. Says he is clostrophobic,.... can't stand closed in spaces. He can't sleep,.... takes a lot of over-the counter pain meds.... and sleep aids.
He has had 2 episodes of what I originally thought were "panic attacks".... because he said that was what it was. But now, I realize it was not.
I believe it was withdrawals.
Here is what happened:
He woke me up one night with all the doors open....all the lights on....
pacing around the house,... in and out into the yard,..... eye wide open and looked like a scared animal. Clenching his hands..... rubbing his arms.... He couldn't be still.
Rubbing his arms,..... but I could not touch him. He wouldn't eat or sleep.
This went on for 4 days/3 nights - nonstop. He said he felt like he was going to die.... or explode.
I finally called his brother,... who pushed him to go to the Emergency Room.
He drove himself,... and wouldn't let me go.
He never lets me go to the doctor with him. He has prescriptions for anxiety,.... and has hydrocodone. I think he has more pain meds than I see in the bottles.
Recently he talked about going to Pain Management center,... but in a rural area. I think he is afraid that someone will recognize him in our town,... and it will get back to his work place.
When I went to make the appointment as he asked me to do, they required his file be transferred from his doctor. I left his doc a message. Later, when I told him about transferring his files from his doctor, he had a "come apart" and was extremely upset. He barked at me to "BACK OFF",.... And HE was the one that asked me to do it. ?
Something is not right.
Was this a panic attack? or is it withdrawals?
I have never had any experience with drugs or pain meds. I know I am pretty naive about it,... but I realize now that panic attacks don't last very long.
This went on for 4 days/3 nights non-stop.
He is very moody,..... seems like he is 2 different people.
He will say one thing one day,.... and then completely different the next day.
Has weight gain. Eats a lot. He is constantly fidgeting...won't be still.
And he has bad leg spasms at night.
Please advise your thoughts/advise.
I confronted him, but he denies it.
He constantly is fidgeting,.... can't be still. Says he is clostrophobic,.... can't stand closed in spaces. He can't sleep,.... takes a lot of over-the counter pain meds.... and sleep aids.
He has had 2 episodes of what I originally thought were "panic attacks".... because he said that was what it was. But now, I realize it was not.
I believe it was withdrawals.
Here is what happened:
He woke me up one night with all the doors open....all the lights on....
pacing around the house,... in and out into the yard,..... eye wide open and looked like a scared animal. Clenching his hands..... rubbing his arms.... He couldn't be still.
Rubbing his arms,..... but I could not touch him. He wouldn't eat or sleep.
This went on for 4 days/3 nights - nonstop. He said he felt like he was going to die.... or explode.
I finally called his brother,... who pushed him to go to the Emergency Room.
He drove himself,... and wouldn't let me go.
He never lets me go to the doctor with him. He has prescriptions for anxiety,.... and has hydrocodone. I think he has more pain meds than I see in the bottles.
Recently he talked about going to Pain Management center,... but in a rural area. I think he is afraid that someone will recognize him in our town,... and it will get back to his work place.
When I went to make the appointment as he asked me to do, they required his file be transferred from his doctor. I left his doc a message. Later, when I told him about transferring his files from his doctor, he had a "come apart" and was extremely upset. He barked at me to "BACK OFF",.... And HE was the one that asked me to do it. ?
Something is not right.
Was this a panic attack? or is it withdrawals?
I have never had any experience with drugs or pain meds. I know I am pretty naive about it,... but I realize now that panic attacks don't last very long.
This went on for 4 days/3 nights non-stop.
He is very moody,..... seems like he is 2 different people.
He will say one thing one day,.... and then completely different the next day.
Has weight gain. Eats a lot. He is constantly fidgeting...won't be still.
And he has bad leg spasms at night.
Please advise your thoughts/advise.
Last edited by thegirlfriend65; 12-26-2012 at 03:17 PM. Reason: correction
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Warren
Posts: 27
I have been checking back all night to your post to see if someone could help you. I am not sure.. I have a 23 yr old recovering heroin addict shes been clean almost 28 months.. I can tell u that when she didnt have her heroin when she was using she looked deadly sick. she felt deadly sick.. She puked she screamed she was out of control. Try to google the 2 seperate topics and maybe it can explain. Im sorry you are going thru this I know it is hard. xoxo Good luck u are in my prayers
Night owl
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Orion spur of the Milky Way galaxy
Posts: 2,050
Hi thegirlfriend. Well, no one besides your boyfriend can say 100% for sure what is going on for him but from what you posted it sounds a whole lot like withdrawals.
I am an oxycodone addict, newly in recovery, and I know that when I have withdrawal symptoms one of the worst is RLS or restless legs syndrome. It's actually your whole body, but especially arms and legs and it feels like painful lightning and spasms are shooting through. You have to keep moving, shaking, kicking (which is where the term kicking drugs comes from) and definitely pacing.
Your body temperature gets thrown off too, hot one minute, cold the next. Or even stranger--feeling boiling hot and freezing cold all at the same time. Also anxiety, insomnia, nausea, diarrhea and definitely moodiness.
Also, his not wanting different docs to be in contact with each other is often a sign of addiction issues. I wanted to get drugs from as many places as I could and tried to have two different sources. I got caught tho and they both stopped being willing to write opiate rx's for me anymore.
If you can talk with him that would be great. But as you will read over and over on these boards, HE has to want to stop for himself. We just can't quit our addictions because another wants us to. In the meantime it is important that you take good care of yourself. You might check out the Friends and Family section as well as the Substance Abuse section.
Take care.
I am an oxycodone addict, newly in recovery, and I know that when I have withdrawal symptoms one of the worst is RLS or restless legs syndrome. It's actually your whole body, but especially arms and legs and it feels like painful lightning and spasms are shooting through. You have to keep moving, shaking, kicking (which is where the term kicking drugs comes from) and definitely pacing.
Your body temperature gets thrown off too, hot one minute, cold the next. Or even stranger--feeling boiling hot and freezing cold all at the same time. Also anxiety, insomnia, nausea, diarrhea and definitely moodiness.
Also, his not wanting different docs to be in contact with each other is often a sign of addiction issues. I wanted to get drugs from as many places as I could and tried to have two different sources. I got caught tho and they both stopped being willing to write opiate rx's for me anymore.
If you can talk with him that would be great. But as you will read over and over on these boards, HE has to want to stop for himself. We just can't quit our addictions because another wants us to. In the meantime it is important that you take good care of yourself. You might check out the Friends and Family section as well as the Substance Abuse section.
Take care.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3
Onedayatatime - Thank you so much for your response. I see that you are overloaded yourself with your daughter. I pray God sends healing to her and comfort to you both for a successful recovery. It takes God to handle these God-size problems.
Take care and don't give up!
Hugs & prayers to you both.
Take care and don't give up!
Hugs & prayers to you both.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3
Lyoness - THANKS so much for taking the time to reply to my post. I know the restless legs and jerking in the middle of the night is definitely not normal. I had suggested to him to see a doctor for RLS, but he dismissed it. I think that is because he already knows it is not RLS, but withdrawals.
Now - he knows that I realize it too. I feel so dumb and naive about all this. I know VERY little about drugs. But - I do see that the puzzle put together draws a pretty clear conclusion. I just can't believe it took me this long to get it. :-/
I have confronted him - so he knows that I know. I feel that if I push him anymore he will shut down on me. I want him to trust me,... and feel like he can depend on me to get help.
He wants to go to a Pain Management Center,.... but I have heard that they HELP a person get on drugs. So............. the question is - what do we do about the pain?
The only thing left for him is to do the knee replacement surgery.
I know that he is extremely fearful that it won't be successful, and he will end up in a wheelchair.
Dumb question here - so forgive me. What happens in the long term for folks that have to take pain meds like hydrocode for years? Does it shut down the body organs?.... or become fatal?.... Can a person that has been on pain meds for 15 - 20 years get clean?
Now - he knows that I realize it too. I feel so dumb and naive about all this. I know VERY little about drugs. But - I do see that the puzzle put together draws a pretty clear conclusion. I just can't believe it took me this long to get it. :-/
I have confronted him - so he knows that I know. I feel that if I push him anymore he will shut down on me. I want him to trust me,... and feel like he can depend on me to get help.
He wants to go to a Pain Management Center,.... but I have heard that they HELP a person get on drugs. So............. the question is - what do we do about the pain?
The only thing left for him is to do the knee replacement surgery.
I know that he is extremely fearful that it won't be successful, and he will end up in a wheelchair.
Dumb question here - so forgive me. What happens in the long term for folks that have to take pain meds like hydrocode for years? Does it shut down the body organs?.... or become fatal?.... Can a person that has been on pain meds for 15 - 20 years get clean?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 339
GF65, the first thing that has to happen is that he has to admit he has a problem. If that does not happen there is not much you can do. You are just working around the issue and not dealing with it. That is hard and I have known many people with the same problem with pain killers. If he does admit he has a problem than you can go to the pain management center and tell them that information and they will do the best they can to help him manage his pain without using addictive medicines. I am sorry to say that you both are in a very difficult spot. If he gets off narcotics will his pain get worse? Will it be real pain? No good way to tell. I do know this, only honesty is going to help. He needs to get honest with you and with doctors. Without that you both are spinning your wheels. Best of luck.
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