Lionhearted1

If I don't go to aa and just stop drinking will i be at a disadvantage spiritually and mentally, Or can I grow in all aspects of my life without aa..

Can I use the techniques I have learned from all of you and some from aa and make my own recovery path and use SR as my support group??

Or do I need to just get my arse to aa and go against my gut feelings... Thanks

whiskeyman

i thought i could do it without AA,
I pushed it out for a long time. Using every method i could find.
Then when my bottom hit me i thought "lets give it one more try"

Thank God I did. My kids still have a dad.

Put in the same amount of effort as you did to drinking as you do to AA and it will work for you

stairs

I can't do it alone because I lie to myself and don't even know it sometimes. I need to hear others in person and on the phone, who really "get it" to reaffirm my commitment to a sober path.

terribob

There are alternatives that many have claimed to work. I can tell you that I did go to one that I won't name. I didn't find it nearly as helpful as AA, more of a complaint outlet which I'm sure is fine for some people. It just wasn't fine for me.

I did have an issue with AA in some of the first meetings I attended. I kept going and I'm much happier now. Hopefully I'll be at the point where I'm ready to get a sponsor and work the steps. That's what's next for me.

YEM

I mean you could do it without AA. Many people have. Many people have also been freed from the bondage of alcoholism by working an honest AA program. The program definitely works and it seems silly to know something works but make a conscious choice not to do it. My experience had been that there are really no negatives in working the AA program. Its pretty much perfect. It's the people in the program that cause it's imperfections and you just have to realize that and focus on the principles not the personalities.

Dee74

LH
what you really need to do? is stop drinking.

Some people can do that by using SR...some use a do it yourself programme like Rational Recovery, others need a more face to face support system like their Dr or counselling or AA or SMART etc., & some need inpatient or outpatient rehab.

The more options you check out, the better your chance of finding something that speaks to you and the better your chance of success...it may not be something you like right away tho.

Just do it. Try something

what have you looked at so far?

D

doggonecarl

Honest answer?
How's that been working for you so far?

Xune

You need to stop drinking and presently, the methods, techniques, advice and supports you are incorporating into your recovery don't seem to give you the ability to remain sober.

You need to make the choice to stop and then get the right supports to stay sober.

Lionhearted1

Ok, I have been in aa had a few sponsors worked upto step 4 and my sponsor relapsed and I was put off, maybe it was bad luck... But my main problem with aa is the financial ammence stuff. I have run companies since I was 19 and some have worked and some have not I am not prepared to payback monies lost in buisness that folded for reasons outside my control it just goes against everything I do as a buisness person and goes against the company law here in the uk protecting company directors by giving them ltd liability..... This may sound ridiculous to some but it really puts me off aa.. Also iam a very private person telling another human being the exact nature of wrongs also just repels me.........

And one last thing bill w was a stock broker in the great depression and iam sure he lost his clients a lot of money in th crash etc, but in the big book it never mentions him doing any financial ammence....

hypochondriac

I don't think you can grow in any aspect of your life without putting a lot of effort in, whatever way you choose to do it.

Really think hard about what you think you need to do. I didn't want to go to AA, I found it uncomfortable and it quite frankly scared me. When I was honest with myself what I really thought was that it pushed me out of my comfort zone. I feel uncomfortable because I know people will challenge me and I will have to do stuff I find hard. It is so easy hanging out here and although I feel like I am being honest and questioning myself I know my real fear is other people. Basically AA is good for me. I probably could stay sober without it but I feel like I would be less of a person for not doing all I can for my recovery. That's just my perspective though. Be honest with yourself and I am sure you'll know what the right answer is.

renaldo

I'm the farthest thing removed from an AA enthusiast, but it is the last bastion and you will receive non-judgemental unconditional love, aside from the occasional exception. In how many situations would someone give you their phone number and say, "call me any time, day or night?"

It's worth a try. It is Alcoholics Anonymous after all. Once you find that all your friends and neighbors are there, you can rest assured that they won't snitch on you. Give it a whirl.

OK, in looking closer at this thread I see that you are no stranger to AA.

I wish you the best, whichever course you choose.

Coldfusion

I think the question here is, "Do you have the money to pay them back?" It's not an AA question.

Sapling

Here is the way I look at it.....And what I did. I read the Big Book...Then I read it again. I realized they were describing the type of alcoholic I am. And they offered a solution. I've seen the results of working for this solution...I'm talking about friends with 30, 40...even 50 years sober...That were chronic alkies like me. I've seen it take this hopeless alcoholic from a position I was ready to cash in my chips...Just give up...To not picking up a drink in a year and a half...That's nothing short of a miracle for me. They sum it up nicely on Page 58.

Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it-then you are ready to take certain steps.

At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not.

I wanted what they had....So I did what they did. Simple.

Xune

Excuses.

Fine AA is not for you. What program or by what means will you get and stay sober?

Coldfusion

The British journal Nature concedes that meetings and twelve-step programs are the only proven methods of sustained recovery. On-line programs don't count, because we can't see if you're drinking.

Lionhearted1

Cold fusion I really don't buy that. If I was in aa how would you know I was not drinking at home ln private?????

YEM

The financial amends are not meant to make you suffer. If you cant pay them at once, start putting a little money aside and begin saving to pay them off. There is no time limit but imagine the relief of taking care of those things. I pay mine off as I can keep moving forward. You also wont need to incriminate yourself for anything. The idea is freedom.

As far as sharing the exact nature of your wrongs with another person is also a very liberating experience. When you hold those things in, you give them power. Power to make you feel guilt and shame and remorse and anger and whatever else. When you share with someone you trust, you not only strengthen your bond with that person, you release all the negative feelings you have about the things you have done. There is great value in doing this. Trust me.

Dee74

I really don't think financial amends is your biggest problem, LH.
I wouldn't be throwing obstacles in your own way right now.

D

renaldo

Why would you even ask that question?

doggonecarl

"Anyway i have obviously upsett a few reagrding my reservations I will keep them to myself In future, and I will look out for that sponsor with the crowbar cheers..."


Lionheart, you asked for an honest answer...and yes it did waive off your OP a little. But what did you expect us to say?

Perhaps you should post this to the secular connections forum. I'm sure you get a different set of answers...the answer then becomes, which one will get and keep you sober?