isinganyway

Just go for it. Keep an open mind. I hated it at first but now it's not so bad. Plus it's nice being in a room of people who understand you...

sugarbear1

AA has no monopoly on keeping people sober nor does it have a monopoly on spirituality.

If ya still wanna try to work the program of recovery via AA (the 12 steps), I suggest you read the book Alcoholics Anonymous again. Try several meetings.

If you've decided not to do this, there are many other methods for staying stopped such as:

Rational Recovery
Power to Quit
AVRT
SMART
Life Ring
Women for Sobriety

Each has their own website. There are also other ways to obtain a spiritual way of life.

Sober Recovery works for some without other methods.

Whatever you do, do it well and stay stopped!

Delilah1

Hi Lion,

I am sorry you are still struggling. I really think you need to do what works for you. I met with my counselor today, I see her about every two weeks, and she asked what I was doing besides seeing her. I have attended a few AA meetings, and though the people were very welcoming it wasn't the right fit for me. I have also gone to a few WFS meetings, and some through my insurance, but SR, reading, journaling, exercise and a few key friends have been the biggest contributors to me staying sober.

I really believe in taking pieces of the programs/books that work for me and using them. I also have one friend that is in the same point of recovery and we text daily, about how we are doing, and life in general.

Think about the parts of programs you have tried that make sense to you and make a plan that will support your sobriety, it is worth it!!!

neferkamichael

Lionhearted, I'm 2years, 6 months sober because "I" choose to be. I go to AA for the fellowship more than any other reason. I hang here on SR for the same reason. It is an "advantage" for me not to drink. If you honestly want to stop drinking, you'll find the way. Merry Christmas.

hamabi

Yes, you can stop without doing anything at all and be just fine...unless you can't.

I take it from your comments that you can't, but that you don't like that truth very much and would prefer it be otherwise.

If you're not one of those who can simply decide forever and a day not to drink, then your choices become limited to doing things you don't really like a lot in order to get the results you want.

Understanding that may be of vital importance to you...if you really want to change yourself into a comfortable non-drinker for the rest of your life badly enough. Or you could settle for the usual temporary and difficult periods of not-drinking that are common when firm decisions can't cut it.

It's always a drag when what we hope will be so isn't.

SoberRo

Hi again! I decided against going down the AA path for a number of reasons. So far it's working out fine. Perhaps AA would have made my journey easier, but so far SR has been enough for me. Everybody is different. You don't have to do AA to get sober, though often people do seem to end up in AA as a last resort. Maybe if they'd attended earlier things wouldn't have spun so far out of their control ... but who knows? For me making a promise to myself has been enough, and of course I have the added support of my 30 years sober AA veteran Dad! It's really about finding the path that suits you. How confident are you that you can do it alone?

Lionhearted1

Thanks guys for all the input, although I did not like some of the replies I reckonise I need to hear them... Happy Christmas to you all...

renaldo

Well, it's been said that advice is what you ask for when you've already made up your mind. But there's also something to be said for maintaining human contact. I could easily be faulted for not following my own advice, but I deeply appreciate everyone here.

freshstart57

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Havinfaith

I understand how you feel . I have been to 10 aa meetings over the last 8 months as a court order. I met some really nice and interesting people and do like their approach but it is just not for me . Going to aa meetings made me really want to drink afterwords. Maybe it's the hard nose way I was raised but I will use other methods to becoming alcohol free . Another issue I have is the whole days sober thing. That again is just not for me and just makes me think of picking up another drink. I plan to get focused on a healthy lifestyle and want life to be my main goal not days of sobriety counted .

This is just my opinion and what I believe will work for me .

sugarbear1

The 12 steps of AA saved my life and my life is pretty darn wonderful today!

Joe Nerv

First off, you are not required to do ANYTHING in AA. If you're going to stay sober without making any ammends you feel you need to make, then you're going to stay sober without doing it. Period. What's AA got to do with any of that? Nobody is going to follow you around with checklist looking at what you've done, and not done. It says in the literature that they read before many meetings, we are not saints. The point is that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. For some that means diving into all 12 steps and doing everything they possibly can to grow and change and eliminate the deisre and need for alcohol. For others it might simply mean helping another alcoholic. Some people just go to meetings to listen, pick up a tip or 2, and make some friends. My experience has taught me that most of that type don't stick around long, but I've seen some that have.

Most people who work the steps come into AA completely unwilling to do any of the stuff listed. The steps are against the very nature of just about every active alcoholic. IMO that's why it works so well, for those who practice the principles earnestly. If you stick around and take your time with the steps you'll learn tons of stuff along the way. You may not even NEED to make ammends for the things you believe you do. If you feel it's absolutely necessary that you do make ammends, you will find ways that it is possible. Remember too that the step says, "whenever possible".

The ammends however are so far down the line of the steps that it's pointless to even start thinking about it now. Especially if it's going to be a deterrant. If you can't help yourself with thinking about it, then focus on step 8, especially the 2nd part. It says, "and became willing to make ammends to them all." That's stating right there that's it's expected at this point that you'll still be unwilling. And this is the point where you figure out, with god's, a sponsor, and the group's help (or any 1 of the 3) - how to become willing. Trust me and the thousands of others who have done it, it falls into place. And if you're really working the steps, by the time you get to this point the entire universe looks much different than the one you're seeing now.

Same goes for the listing and admitting faults. First, you don't have to do it if you don't want, but more importantly - if it's eating at you it's probably the very fiber of what you need to do in order to get sober. But you don't even have to think about that now. First priority is putting the drink down. Getting to meeting made that possible for me. Next 2 steps, if done honestly and with an open and willing mind, WILL open the door for all that's to follow.


I say put your reservations on the shelf, it's your alcoholic self talking, and give it a go with all you've got. Your life depends upon it.

IllBeFree

Greetings Lionhearted:

I am encouraged to see that at least some people on here have sincerely offered you good counsel without putting you down. You do not need any more put-downs or put-offs---at least I know I do not after a year and a half of AA meetings, readings, intense communication with an AA sponsor and "grand" sponsor who both have over 20 years IN.

I just came back here to see if this forum would be supportive of our trying other programs to support our recovery intentions besides AA, NA 12 Step modalities. It is encouraging to see someone offer alternative support to someone who honestly is just expressing need and intention to achieve sobriety by whatever means it MUST be.

I think AA is a "must-be" for those for whom it is. They decide. AS for me, I MUST look into other alternatives. It is my choice and I choose to choose. We all have Free-Will and no one can take it from us without our consent.

We have to keep our wits about us despite inner or external voices interjecting doubt. Truly, there is nothing to fear but fear itself.

My goal starting 2013 is to investigate as many other alternatives that strike me as potentially viable as I possibly can. I shall use my God-given intellectual capacity to make informed decisions for myself and trust that God in Good Wisdom, gave me this brain in order that I should use it.

Educate myself. Empower myself. Be myself and live my life without reliance on external "suggestions", keepers, controllers or gurus. If I did not have the power to that--well, I could not do it, now could I?

I simply am not going to make it any other way. I must get this "alcohol-issue" in my life to fall into place with my own well being, health and balance. This has not happened thus far. I will NOT give up.

I feel it would do your mind well to stay with this forum (there are some phenomenal contributors here most of the time), look into other alternatives for sobriety and look into other supportive people within AA if that is your desire. Do what feels right for you in your gut.

And don't let anyone (no matter how many years sober they claim) should all over you!

May Your Way Be Revealed

soberlicious

Yes, you absolutely can quit drinking. You absolutely can develop spirituality (or not) as you see fit. I would recommend putting in some hard study toward all your options in quitting your alcohol addiction. You can wring your hands about all the drawbacks of all the paradigms or you can do something. I prefer the "sh*t or get off the pot" method myself.

wpainterw

There's no easy answer. AA helped me. It's helped others. You don't "have" to use it. You don't "have" to get sober. You can let your illness progress. It's all up to you. The only thing I learned was that I could not do it alone even with counseling. I needed the help of other recovering alcoholics. Maybe you're different. I suspect that there are many like me, however.

W.

freshstart57

You've been shown classic examples of the sloppy thinking known as 'false dilemma'. For example, 'you don't have to use the program I did, you can continue being dependent on alcohol'. It's sloppy because it assumes there are no alternatives.

Most people quit drinking without a formal program. About 75 percent of persons who recover from alcohol dependence do so without seeking any kind of help, including specialty alcohol (rehab) programs and AA.

awuh1

I agree that this is a false dilemma…. for most. In the specific case of the OP, who had tried a variety of methods including AA, (none of which initially worked) he has since decided to return to AA. He states he was very happy with his decision to do so. It’s my opinion that he may have known AA was his best alternative and he was struggling with a specific difficulty in returning.

With regard to ‘alcoholism’ (as described in the AA literature), and ‘alcohol dependence’ (a diagnostic term used by the mental health community), it’s a case of apples and oranges. Both are fruit but not quite the same. For example, it’s possible to meet the diagnostic criteria for ‘alcohol dependence’ by meeting 3 of 7 diagnostic criteria, yet never have lost the ability to ‘control your drinking’ (the AA definition of ‘alcoholic’). To say that 75% of people with ‘alcohol dependence’ “recover” is likely true, but that would not apply to people who have lost the ability to control their drinking.

The OP was on a hell bound train, and he decided to use AA as his brake. Based on the contents of his posts, I feel he made exactly the right choice.

Dee74

as LH is going back to AA and seems very happy with that decision I declare this thread closed - to continue might encourage a few more false dilemnas....

I'd like to suggest we start the New Year off as we mean to go on.
Programme bickering - whatever side of the fence - is so 2012, yeah?

D