RainingInMyHead

Hi, all.

I want to know how long you guys consider "early sobriety" to be? A month, 6months, a year? I'm not sure why I'm asking this, really... I read many posts that have advice about doing/not doing certain activities or being around certain people while still in early sobriety. Is it all subjective, and how does one know when they are past that point?

I'm definitely still in the early time span, lol... closing in on Day 7. I feel pretty good, but I'm still waiting for a mega burst of energy and happiness and... and... all the other good stuff that goes along with it! I'm rather impatient! I can't wait to see how life is after nearly 15 years of always being under the influence of SOMEthing.

Also - I've heard the term "dry drunk" but do not know exactly what it means. I haven't done much in the way of self-discovery upon quitting. I've just quit and that's all. What else should I be doing to ensure my continued success?

Thank you to everyone for your advice and support. I LOVE this site and spend tons of time here reading and trying to absorb the wealth of knowledge and wisdom. You guys are so inspiring.

Dee74

Hi RIMH

I felt a real shift in myself about 90 days, so I'd put the end of early recovery marker there.

D

rainyengland

Hi Raining - good to see your still here and it's all going well !

I'm 2 weeks today and I def noticed a shift mid week - like my alcoholic bubble burst a little! I think it was more down to my appearance changing and that has given me a booost!

I would guess though early still means 3-4 months...

Keep the good work - weekend is here and were sober - yeah! :-)

Bondi123

Good question Raining, thanks
@rainyengland...how has your appearance changed?
Did you have any side effects aside from craving?

rainyengland

Hi Bondi

The bloaty face has reduced loads and the red marks that were appearing on side of nose have faded,skin looks cleaner and wrinkles shallower - tummy not as swollen ,eyes clearer ( I'm not putting a very attractive picture of how I look am I !! LOL !!) - dark circles have gone - eye bags there but that's hereditary :-(

It really puts a spring in your step when you can see changes happening - and not waking up every day asking is this the day I have the heart attack!

Cravings - day two was just awfull - felt like I was going to faint,was like I had been on a massive binge but hadn't so was very odd !

Yes the cravings are there but getting less and more infrequent daily - I just get myself busy , walk the dog,watch a good film,perfect a decent coffee,do the jobs I couldn't do hungover or couldn't be bothered to do more like

BabyJane

It depends on many factors but I'd agree that 90 days is a good marker. I've also read in psychology text books and recovery research that those who make it to a full year have significantly improved odds of staying clean and sober past that mark. That's actually when the clinician / doctor considers an individual "recovered" according to the DSM used by psychiatric professionals.

As for myself... I'll be in early sobriety at least a year because I made it 9 months before and still relapsed so I feel that I need to at least make it longer than that. I think I can do it too. I feel pretty strong and I hope you do too!

mecanix

For me working on some self discovery has been important so as to be able to deal with stuff , the up's and down's without recourse to drink . It's your recovery so i guess the pace is set by you but i know for me i need to feel i'm progressing .

Good luck & bestwishes, M

Natom

I think early sobriety time periods change depending on who you talk to and what program, if any, that they follow. Personally I feel that early sobriety is anything under one year. At the end of that one year the likelihood of you staying clean and sober is increased and you have had a year to deal with anything life could throw at you.

Natom.

FeelingGreat

hi, your question made me think about myself. I'm at 34 weeks and I'd still count myself as 'early' because it's such a big deal in my life. I regard myself as being actively sober as opposed to a person whose choice not to drink alcohol is just a small aspect of their life.
Not sure I explained it very well.

Jeni26

After 3 months I felt the whole focus in my thinking change from how to get by without picking up and fighting cravings to how to deal with life. I'm learning who I am and how to appreciate what I have.
It's all a process.
I still feel at the beginning of my journey in lots of ways, but advanced in others.
It sure is a journey, but the fear has gone x

Threshold

Grrrr...this thread reminds me of how I felt the first time I got into recovery...jealous and like a failure.

I remember sitting in meetings and people who had two weeks clean time were sharing how everything in their lives had changed and they lost 12 pounds, had a new job, a puppy and felt awesome 24/7.

People going up for their 30 day tag with big peaceful smiles.

I just didn't seem to be "getting it".

I didn't want to go for my 90 day tag because I was ashamed of what a mess I was at 90 days.

so I would say that early recovery/sobriety varies hugely.

I relapsed a few times, but my heart wasn't in it, so clearly I had learned something during early recovery, even if it didn't take hold the first (second and third) time.

Now I am almost a year drug free and 9 months booze free.

I'd say in the past three months I've gotten some clear glimpses that I've changed. I notice myself thinking and doing some things differently, and I also notice when I don't...which I feel is a sort of growth as well.

I notice that I am more intentional and less reactive. More forgiving, more honest with myself (still working on honesty with other people)

I am not sure that the pacing of my recovery and sobriety was totally up to me, which I thought it was at first. I wanted to force it. Now I see that I couldn't. I could do my part, with honesty and willingness, but I couldn't make myself more ready than I was.

I've heard people advise "don't do this, don't do that" in early recovery, and I respect that, but sometimes life hasn't gotten the memo. And sometimes I wasn't ready to NOT do that thing yet, not recovered enough, hadn't developed enough life skills to deal with some situations in better ways.

I have multiple addictions, and I've learned that giving in to one can cause a landslide of giving in to all of them. So it's been a one step forward, two steps back thing until I got a handle on several areas of my life.

I've been in recovery about 3 and a half years. Working on it even when I was slipping and sliding. So I do feel I can say I am past early recovery and am now in early sobriety. I feel like I am now living sober, putting new practices into my life, allowing myself to act from a sober frame of mind and appreciating not just freedom from active addiction, but some actual benefits of sobriety.

Fandy

Congrats on your first week of being a non-drinker.
I dislike the term "dry drunk", it implies that there is something wrong with you for not following a certain program.
For me, quitting was a mixture of wanting to be a better person physically and mentally. My program focuses on being grateful, connecting with others and feeling much better. Booze and depression make me ill.

Xune

Early remission is one year imo.

fallingtogether

Congrats on 7 days. To me early sobriety is a physical statement. I have 68 days and feel serenity, I feel changes that some don't feel for months. I don't like the term myself. We are all 1 drink away from complete devastation, whether we have 1 week or 30 years! Sobriety is sobriety. Dry drunk in my opinion is someone who is not drinking. And pissed off or unhappy about it. Not willing to allow themselves to feel the positive effects of sobriety. Either way, don't get hung up on te lingo. Being sober has been a huge positive change in my life, no matter how you want to phrase it. Best wishes! Xoxo

Fernaceman

I would consider up to a year earlier sobriety. That seems to be the cutoff point that many people falter and cease working their programs. If they continue from that point forward, there is usually a pretty good chance they will remain sober for longer periods.

There are, unfortunately, no hard statistics on this. As a lot of programs work under the condition of anonymity and it's basically on the honor system.

Auvers

Like you, I was waiting for the fantastic feeling of being alcohol free after a few days. Good things did start happening soon, increased self esteem, lack of guilt, but this was along with the energy zap, fog and feeling of being lost in a different world than I was familiar with. I think it takes arming yourself with the knowledge that if you stick to it, the good, good part will come. I got past the really zapped feeling beginning at about 3 months, slowly adding to my reservoir of skills along the way: adaptability, empathy, calmness, presence in the moment. As you acquire the new or renewed living skills, everything good reinforces the decision to live alcohol free. Now at 6 months, I am loving this new life yet finding that I can still feel like a stranger in it at times, like returning home after years and years away. I guess the length of time of the alcoholic dance determines something about the timetable of the recovery.

LSNP

What happened at 90 days?

GypsyHeart

i so much agree with fandy. my program is like that.
i think it is different for everyone. i think there comes a subtle shift inside yourself that may be noticeable at that time .. or not until you just later realize it. that shift is fleeting moments around me now.... there are times now that i don't think about it that i formerly would have obsessed. there are times like last night at the store when i was standing at the beginning of the long alcohol aisle and i stood there literally the 2 seconds that it took in my mind to say, nope nothing in that aisle and i immediately started thinking of what i needed in the next. and didn't revisit the thought the rest of the trip. i didn't even think about it until just now...... not too long ago, that would have been the sole reason for even going to the store. last nite i was there for.......... apple juice haha. i guess it is a letting go of the old lifestyle and being able to stand back and objectively view it and consciously say nah, i'll do this instead.

tomsteve

a dry drunk is stopping drinking and still exibiting the same thoughts and actions as when i was drinking.

i woke up at about 7:30 this morning. it is 9:30 ish now. i am in early sobriety today.

happiness came when i started changing my thoughts and actions, which took T.I.M.E.

2granddaughters

The Promises of Alcoholics Anonymous states:

The Promises, that are read in many A.A. Meetings can be found on page 83-84, of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous.



THE A.A. PROMISES

"The spiritual life is not a theory, we have to live it..... If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and selfpity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them."

So, it says I will be amazed before I am half way through.

In 1989 I didn't think I was going to see 1990 and here it is coming up on 2013. That's AMAZING for a hopeless, helpless drunk like me. I believe I'm getting closer to halfway through.

Please note that the Promises don't make reference to drinking. Quitting drinking is the beginning of the Promises. Not drinking is the start of recovery for an alcoholic as described in "How It Works" and "The Doctors opinion" ... at least that's my experience with it.

All the best.

Bob R