quitforme79

Good morning all...I need some advice and/or recomendations. I know that I have to learn to "feel" the feelings I numbed with drinking for so long. At times, I feel so agitated/angry that I think my head might pop off. I haven't actaully snapped on anyone (except on a guy at Walmart that asked me if I worked there) LOL Felt really bad afterwards..I was in a rush and just said "NO" but in a rude way Today, my coworkers are ticking me off just by sitting in their cubicles...or the way they laugh..or by what they are eating for breakfast. Seriously, I am annoyed at myself for being so inpatient and agitated! How have you dealt with this? Any good books on the subject? BTW...almost a month sober..don't know if the time frame means anything in this case...

sugarbear1

What method of recovery are you using to help you deal with living life without drinking?

bbthumper

I found the 12 steps of AA to be very effective in relieving me of my anger in addtion to many other negative feelings. Still get angry now, but can effectively deal with it in a way that is not hurtful to myself or anyone else.

BruceJ

Yep.
Anger, even justified anger, is the "dubious luxury" of those da** normal people.
For us, if we nurture it too long, it can turn into a bonafide resentment. Harboring those is what kicks our patoots.
For me, praying for tolerance seems to help....not always....and I'm sure not perfect at it, but it seems to be getting better as time goes by.
When I take an honest personal inventory and realize where I probably should be (prison, dead, etc) it tends to make it easier to tolerate those who don't act the way that I know they should.

All the best.

escapist

I read " Learned Optimism" by Seligman.

PS I always get cranky when I go to WalMart. Walk for miles to find something drives me crazy.

quitforme79

I am in AA...on Step 2. Doing 90 in 90. I do try to pray away the anger. I ask my higher power for patience but then it's tested because that's how we learn the practice lol I guess I have all the tools for coping with it. I just don't like feeling so agitated...who does?

Windancer

I think it is still early days, and it is quite common for recovering addicts to feel intense anger/irritability. Everyone has different coping skills.
Deep breathing helps me, or lately Ive found writing a gratitude list quite effective. Journalling, too, anything to get it out in a healthy way so it doesnt fester. Even if Im not quite sure why Im so grumpy...and by grumpy, I mean sometimes downright b*tchy.
Watching or reading something inspiring to me has sometimes helped too. Then other times, I just accept I feel awful and try to remember that it will pass and im not doomed to feel like that forever.

quitforme79

Thanks guys

audra

Anger is a cover up for something deeper. AA steps will help you uncover what that/those issues are. Bill W. says we can't afford to keep anger in our lives as it will lead us into relapse. Do you have depression associated with this too because depression is a cover up for anger turned inward?

BabyJane

When I'm angry I pray or call someone in AA and vent or go for a jog. Two days ago I got so mad I picked a huge fight with my boyfriend and he has a temper so it blew up in my face! I know I can't do that anymore. I applaud you for committing to 90 in 90 and for posting here about your challenges. That IS the solution. You're doing it!

MarleyMac

I'm not sure If this would help, I have had a lot of pent up anger, since being a young child, due to how I was treated, I found that because I was so angry at this person, any other little thing would set me off, it wasn't until I read the big book and reading peoples stories in the second half that something someone said rang a huge bell, I will see if I can find it and type up what was said, I was about forgiving that person who had constantly wronged you, I didn't feel I wanted to face that person, or that they deserved to hear my forgiveness, I did it just for me, and said it out loud several times, I now feel more content.
Marley

hypochondriac

I found this really useful when I was early in recovery and angry as hell...

Controlling Anger -- Before It Controls You

MarleyMac

My edit time has passed so I am making a new post with the extra info...
just to add that the story I am talking about is on page 544 titled freedom from bondage. the part that resonated with me is.... If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or the thing that you resent, you will be free, if you ask in prayer for everything that you would wish for yourself to be given to them, you will be free, ask for their health prosperity and happiness and you will be free, even when you dont want it for them and your prayers are only words, and you dont mean it, go ahead and do it anyway, do it everyday for two weeks then you will come to mean it, where you felt bitterness hatred and resentment you will feel compassion understanding and love.

I did this in my own way, but I got peace from doing it.

Marley

Thepatman

In my case I think I see some people trough sober eyes now. And their just really annoying.

stepping

Quit - I read a very simple read called: Don't Sweat the Small Stuff - & it's all small stuff. One of the chapters he says when you get angry pull back and ask yourself "what is God trying to teach me through this person" This really simple concept has helped me BIG TIME!!!! Read the book lot's of other good information in there too! Good luck!

stepping

And this....IS True. Any person in their right mind HATES Wal-Mart One visit is enough to make a person go close to postal!

FreeFall

Walmart makes me insane too! I did find I was extra impatient with people the first month or two. I remember thinking "I was a much nicer person when I was drinking" lol I think it had something to do with when I was drinking I always felt guilty or "bad" so I was more tolerant of others. When I stopped I felt less tolerant of stupid stuff if that makes any sense. It balanced out by the third month.

Learned Optimism sounds like a good book to check out. Wish my boyfriend would read it