Some Legal Advice, Please!
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: N. California
Posts: 17
Some Legal Advice, Please!
It seems now that the only way to save my marriage is let my wife feel that my swear to quit drinking is legally obliged.
Is there some kind of document we can sign that states if I drink again, she can divorce me right away and I have to agree to leave without taking any share of our assets?
I only hope such legal document can prove to her how serious I am to stop drinking for ever. But first, does this sort of thing exist in the first place?
Thank you very, very much for any input.
Is there some kind of document we can sign that states if I drink again, she can divorce me right away and I have to agree to leave without taking any share of our assets?
I only hope such legal document can prove to her how serious I am to stop drinking for ever. But first, does this sort of thing exist in the first place?
Thank you very, very much for any input.
I'm an attorney, here to tell you that you need to see an attorney. There is no way that I or anyone else here can advise you on that.
I am glad you are serious about quitting, though! That is the way to be.
I am glad you are serious about quitting, though! That is the way to be.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: N. California
Posts: 17
Thank you, guys. I didn't know it's against the rule to seek leagal advice. Actually I was not looking for advice. I just want to know if an attorney can help us prepare such documents, meaning such documents do exist. Pls delete my post. Sorry for the trouble.
Here is a tidbit of information you might want to consider. One of the two founders of Alcoholics Anonymous (Bill W.) made pledges (more than one) to his wife to stop drinking, and wrote them in the family bible. It did not work. It turned out that he needed a bit more than his will power alone to stop. That’s not true for everyone, but it is for many, including myself.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: South
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Although admirable, your iron clad commitment is to the wrong person. Peace comes from and is focused within. If you and your wife are truthful and honest with one another, then this type of gesture - although powerful is not relevant or adequate.
I often tell my wife, god forbid if I ever cheated on her, giving her the money and assets would be easy - and would almost be forgiving my conscience. The real commitment is not to lose my wife.
I often tell my wife, god forbid if I ever cheated on her, giving her the money and assets would be easy - and would almost be forgiving my conscience. The real commitment is not to lose my wife.
There might not be a forum rule, but in most places in the US, giving legal advice is illegal if you aren't an attorney, and you can also be sued for it. So there IS a rule, for many of us.
Sorry that was large! I happened to take a pic of the framed "Page of Pledges" that Bill wrote to Lois when I was answering phones at the intergroup office.
It's going to take a lot for your wife to trust you again. We've apologized and made promises and vows not to drink again, only to constantly break them. It's why amends is not saying, "I'm sorry," but it is about putting ourselves in others' shoes and trying to see things from their perspective...
It will take a long time for us to regain trust from others, especially loved ones. It just is this way. My friends with decades of continuous recovery are still making amends in many ways. Read the Family and Friends Forum.
It can be done. It will take time. We must show our loved ones that we are serious.
I really wish you well on your sober journey.
With great love and hugs,
It's going to take a lot for your wife to trust you again. We've apologized and made promises and vows not to drink again, only to constantly break them. It's why amends is not saying, "I'm sorry," but it is about putting ourselves in others' shoes and trying to see things from their perspective...
It will take a long time for us to regain trust from others, especially loved ones. It just is this way. My friends with decades of continuous recovery are still making amends in many ways. Read the Family and Friends Forum.
It can be done. It will take time. We must show our loved ones that we are serious.
I really wish you well on your sober journey.
With great love and hugs,
1The jurisdictions that have adopted a definition of the practice of law are: Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Colorado, District of Columbia, Hawaii, Idaho, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Nebraska, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Utah, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, and Wyoming. "2004 Survey of Unlicensed Practice of Law Committees," monograph, American Bar Association, December 2004.
2The jurisdictions that have adopted a definition of the practice of law by supreme court rule are: Alaska, Arizona, District of Columbia, Idaho, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maryland, Mississippi, Nebraska, Utah, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, and Wyoming. "2004 Survey of Unlicensed Practice of Law Committees," monograph, American Bar Association, December 2004.
I'm in law school and the biggest thing they ram into your brain whenever you ask a question is "it depends".
For someone to give you accurate advice he/she would have to fully know your story, the laws in your state, etc.
Instead of making promises show her with your actions. Our words have lost much meaning for the most part, its all about changing within and staying sober. Once you have done that, she will see that you are serious.
For someone to give you accurate advice he/she would have to fully know your story, the laws in your state, etc.
Instead of making promises show her with your actions. Our words have lost much meaning for the most part, its all about changing within and staying sober. Once you have done that, she will see that you are serious.
With all due respect, I've been in the legal field for 12 years, and giving legal advice without being a lawyer is practicing law without a license.
1The jurisdictions that have adopted a definition of the practice of law are: Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Colorado, District of Columbia, Hawaii, Idaho, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Nebraska, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Utah, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, and Wyoming. "2004 Survey of Unlicensed Practice of Law Committees," monograph, American Bar Association, December 2004.
2The jurisdictions that have adopted a definition of the practice of law by supreme court rule are: Alaska, Arizona, District of Columbia, Idaho, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maryland, Mississippi, Nebraska, Utah, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, and Wyoming. "2004 Survey of Unlicensed Practice of Law Committees," monograph, American Bar Association, December 2004.
1The jurisdictions that have adopted a definition of the practice of law are: Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Colorado, District of Columbia, Hawaii, Idaho, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Nebraska, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Utah, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, and Wyoming. "2004 Survey of Unlicensed Practice of Law Committees," monograph, American Bar Association, December 2004.
2The jurisdictions that have adopted a definition of the practice of law by supreme court rule are: Alaska, Arizona, District of Columbia, Idaho, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maryland, Mississippi, Nebraska, Utah, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, and Wyoming. "2004 Survey of Unlicensed Practice of Law Committees," monograph, American Bar Association, December 2004.
In any event, when producing your quotes, it would have been helpful if you had also provided the actual codified definitions of what those states determine the practice of law to be.
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: N. California
Posts: 17
Thank you all, really. Esp. Dee, you are as kind as always. The title is misleading, sorry. I just wanted to know if such legal document exists or not. I actually have contacted some lawyer's offices. But since it's already Friday afternoon, I have to wait for their callback. As TX points out, the real commitment comes from within and hopefully from the bond my wife and I can forge again. We signed an agreement just 1 hour ago, which gives her the choice to divorce me and I must obey without causing any hassle if I ever drink again. Think I will honor that for the rest of my life, cuz I can't lose my wife who is the most precious in my life.
Dee, pls, if this post can cause any legal confusion or even issue, delete it (I couldn't find the option to delete it myself). When I pull myself together, I will post my progress and contribute to SR in every way I can.
Dee, pls, if this post can cause any legal confusion or even issue, delete it (I couldn't find the option to delete it myself). When I pull myself together, I will post my progress and contribute to SR in every way I can.
Last edited by arhat; 11-30-2012 at 07:15 PM. Reason: typo
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