A new side of life?
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 20
A new side of life?
Yesterday my ABF went to a suboxone clinic. He was prescribed two pills per day. (I am unsure of the mg of the top of my head), even though that is not my point. I have been with him for two and a half years. We have a three month old son together. And I have gone through emotional hell for a lot of this time. I have endured heartache. I have accepted lies, I have fought my way through the financial hardships that he has caused. But, for the first time in the two years and seven months that we have been together, I can breathe. I feel as though perhaps, we have a chance of hope. That he has a chance at living his life in a way that he has not known in 11 years of addiction. Going to the suboxone clinic is the first time EVER that he has made any sort of initiative to do anything that consists of him getting clean. Well, besides the infamaous "I'm trying". I am proud of him. And I am grateful that at least for today, there is hope.
He texted me while I was at work this morning and said that he just felt like crying at nothing. I know that the suboxone's are going to put him through a rollercoaster, I know that his emotions will be different. But, I feel grateful that he still has emotions. I am not getting my hopes up. I am prepared to face life if he never recovers, but for today, today the weight has been lifted. And I feel that there is hope. I feel that he has hope. And that maybe, just maybe, this will work. And we will see a new side of life.
(please do not bother replying if you have anything discouraging or negative to say, because It won't make a difference to me anyway)
He texted me while I was at work this morning and said that he just felt like crying at nothing. I know that the suboxone's are going to put him through a rollercoaster, I know that his emotions will be different. But, I feel grateful that he still has emotions. I am not getting my hopes up. I am prepared to face life if he never recovers, but for today, today the weight has been lifted. And I feel that there is hope. I feel that he has hope. And that maybe, just maybe, this will work. And we will see a new side of life.
(please do not bother replying if you have anything discouraging or negative to say, because It won't make a difference to me anyway)
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: new moon road
Posts: 1,545
I would feel the very same way, if I were in your shoes. I wish for you and your family all the very best, and blessings to all of you. It is a beautiful day when an addict reaches for real help.
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,927
Hi Jeanie,
Thank you for sharing your post; it is really good news & I think something wonderful to share when our loved ones finally reach out for help. You have every right to be proud of him, as it took a lot of courage for him to talk to a Dr. and start suboxone treatment. I had the same feeling when my husband asked for help. He told me that for him there was a slow process of acceptance within himself that led him to ask for help; maybe it was the same for your boyfriend.
Since my husband has been in recovery, I have been reading a lot from SMART (Self Management and Recovery Training). They describe the process of change in stages:
Pre-Contemplation – Unaware, resistant, thinking positives outweigh negative
Contemplation – Becomes aware, but ambivalent to positive/negative, explores potential for change
Preparation – Accepts responsibility to change, evaluates techniques, develops a plan, builds confidence
Action – Engages in behavior change, gains insight and skills, learns to overcome unwanted behavior
Maintenance – Masters and sustains new behavior with minimal effort, establishes new patterns
Termination – Adds new self image consistent with change, confidence and self control
You might also find it encouraging to know: “Most successful self-changers go through the stages three or four times before they make it through the cycle of change without at least one slip. Most will return to the contemplation stage of change. Slips give us the opportunity to learn.” So if a slip does happen, there is still hope !
That’s my abbreviated description; you can look here for more:
SMART Recovery® - Stages of Change
So my feeling is, some of the “Im Trying”, or the “quacking” as some people call it are actually a part of the stages of change for our loved ones.
I think we go through these stages also in dealing with their addiction and how it affects our lives.
I want to wish you both the best. It may be rough for a while; it was with my husband. But he kept at it and now he is 8 months clean and doing really well.
Thank you for sharing your post; it is really good news & I think something wonderful to share when our loved ones finally reach out for help. You have every right to be proud of him, as it took a lot of courage for him to talk to a Dr. and start suboxone treatment. I had the same feeling when my husband asked for help. He told me that for him there was a slow process of acceptance within himself that led him to ask for help; maybe it was the same for your boyfriend.
Since my husband has been in recovery, I have been reading a lot from SMART (Self Management and Recovery Training). They describe the process of change in stages:
Pre-Contemplation – Unaware, resistant, thinking positives outweigh negative
Contemplation – Becomes aware, but ambivalent to positive/negative, explores potential for change
Preparation – Accepts responsibility to change, evaluates techniques, develops a plan, builds confidence
Action – Engages in behavior change, gains insight and skills, learns to overcome unwanted behavior
Maintenance – Masters and sustains new behavior with minimal effort, establishes new patterns
Termination – Adds new self image consistent with change, confidence and self control
You might also find it encouraging to know: “Most successful self-changers go through the stages three or four times before they make it through the cycle of change without at least one slip. Most will return to the contemplation stage of change. Slips give us the opportunity to learn.” So if a slip does happen, there is still hope !
That’s my abbreviated description; you can look here for more:
SMART Recovery® - Stages of Change
So my feeling is, some of the “Im Trying”, or the “quacking” as some people call it are actually a part of the stages of change for our loved ones.
I think we go through these stages also in dealing with their addiction and how it affects our lives.
I want to wish you both the best. It may be rough for a while; it was with my husband. But he kept at it and now he is 8 months clean and doing really well.
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