Holidays: Appearance and Reality
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Holidays: Appearance and Reality
Holidays are rough for me, even though I don't drink any more. I know that drinking would make them even worse. These days it's other medical problems, particularly for my wife, who has continuing trouble with her anti cancer medication. Yesterday, the day before Thanksgiving, we spent most of the day in the emergency room. Happily she was discharged at days' end but we had to curtail our plans for today. I haven't done much except pay a visit to the pharmacy for more prescriptions.
As a recovering alcoholic it seems to me that the problem is two fold. The first is the obvious one- on a holiday everyone is encouraged to drink, to "celebrate". The newspapers and magazines are full of ads for booze. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hannukah, Easter- whatever!- have all been hijacked by the merchants. So grab your credit cards everyone and get in line. It's the good old American way.(And tomorrow don't forget to wake up at midnight and get in line at 1:00 a.m. to shop for holiday stuff)
The second thing is not so obvious. "Tis the Season to be Jolly!" From our infancy we've been conditioned to be all smiles. Santas everywhere (some with red noses and whiskey breath). Bunnies at Easter. Right now it's Pilgrims and "Native Americans" (little do the latter suspect that for many of them it may be their 'last supper"- after the dinner dishes are done our founding fathers might well be loading their muskets- appearance and reality!). So appearance is what we're conditioned from childhood to expect, and how we're supposed to behave. Reality is often a gathering of folks who revive old memories, childhood holidays, and possibly end up doing disfunctional stuff. And of course when they drink it makes things even worse.
So what does a recovering alcoholic do on holidays? Where can he/she go? Right now, I'm in my bedroom with the dog and I'm doing a thread on SR. Hang in there!
W.
As a recovering alcoholic it seems to me that the problem is two fold. The first is the obvious one- on a holiday everyone is encouraged to drink, to "celebrate". The newspapers and magazines are full of ads for booze. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hannukah, Easter- whatever!- have all been hijacked by the merchants. So grab your credit cards everyone and get in line. It's the good old American way.(And tomorrow don't forget to wake up at midnight and get in line at 1:00 a.m. to shop for holiday stuff)
The second thing is not so obvious. "Tis the Season to be Jolly!" From our infancy we've been conditioned to be all smiles. Santas everywhere (some with red noses and whiskey breath). Bunnies at Easter. Right now it's Pilgrims and "Native Americans" (little do the latter suspect that for many of them it may be their 'last supper"- after the dinner dishes are done our founding fathers might well be loading their muskets- appearance and reality!). So appearance is what we're conditioned from childhood to expect, and how we're supposed to behave. Reality is often a gathering of folks who revive old memories, childhood holidays, and possibly end up doing disfunctional stuff. And of course when they drink it makes things even worse.
So what does a recovering alcoholic do on holidays? Where can he/she go? Right now, I'm in my bedroom with the dog and I'm doing a thread on SR. Hang in there!
W.
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, Wpainterw.
I second you. Holidays make us spend money and drink. We are trapped in the world of consumption and advertising.
For me, it's the first time when I am not excited about all these decorations and other NY stuff they started to sell in every supermarket. I've spend enough of "regular" New Years with champaigne and all that goes with it. Why not to do something different for a change.
Happy Thanksgiving, anyway!
I second you. Holidays make us spend money and drink. We are trapped in the world of consumption and advertising.
For me, it's the first time when I am not excited about all these decorations and other NY stuff they started to sell in every supermarket. I've spend enough of "regular" New Years with champaigne and all that goes with it. Why not to do something different for a change.
Happy Thanksgiving, anyway!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Los Angeles, CA.
Posts: 235
I think for those of us who have the power to do so, it's important to remember you can not control other's thoughts or actions. You can react however you choose today while surrounded by family and friends. They do not control you, and you do not control them. So you can simply enjoy your day, be present and remember they are all there because they want to be loved, just like you do, so allow that to happen and chuck the rest. Ignore the nonsense, it's just added anxiety. Allow them to act the way they act, it's of no consequence to your own actions. Again, for those of strong enough to do so.
Gobble, gobble.
Gobble, gobble.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
