Sleep on it - One day at a time
Sleep on it - One day at a time
Okay, to be perfectly honest, I never believed in the whole one day at a time philosophy. I thought it was for weak AA junkies that couldn't grasp staying sober forever. That was until last night...
Last night I toyed with the idea of buying a vaporizer for marijuana, because if I wasn't smoking anything, per say, and I wasn't drinking, then getting a buzz is harmless right? If someone asked me to smoke weed last night, I can honestly say I would have given in. How crazy is it that, if I had the money, I would have been so desperate to escape reality, that I would also spent $600 dollars on just the machine to get a "harmless" high?
When I woke up this morning, I felt that someone else had taken over my brain last night. I have not had that addict voice for a while now since I am a couple weeks into my second month, so I had a false sense of confidence.
I am writing to those who have the same mindset that I had. Please take everything one day at a time in early recovery (first year). In the very least, please do not get over confident, or you may find yourself on a very slippery slope.
-EAE
Last night I toyed with the idea of buying a vaporizer for marijuana, because if I wasn't smoking anything, per say, and I wasn't drinking, then getting a buzz is harmless right? If someone asked me to smoke weed last night, I can honestly say I would have given in. How crazy is it that, if I had the money, I would have been so desperate to escape reality, that I would also spent $600 dollars on just the machine to get a "harmless" high?
When I woke up this morning, I felt that someone else had taken over my brain last night. I have not had that addict voice for a while now since I am a couple weeks into my second month, so I had a false sense of confidence.
I am writing to those who have the same mindset that I had. Please take everything one day at a time in early recovery (first year). In the very least, please do not get over confident, or you may find yourself on a very slippery slope.
-EAE
This is why it is a cronic problem. We never ever get over it. The second we think we are fixed we are destined for a very rude awakening
I can't take it one day at a time... if I did, I would go insane. The idea that I will have to think about it every day for the rest of my life terrifies me and so, for me, the only way that works is by believing and accepting that I will never drink again. It has been so liberating to know that, and know that I'm OK with it. I've started to forget how long I've been sober for, which I think is fantastic. Days and days go by without me thinking about it. It's wonderful. But that's not for everyone, I totally understand that.
When I do have thoughts of drinking, which does still happen very rarely - I know where that thought is coming from and know absolutely that I will do nothing about those thoughts.
Each to their own
When I do have thoughts of drinking, which does still happen very rarely - I know where that thought is coming from and know absolutely that I will do nothing about those thoughts.
Each to their own
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,126
Even though one may hear this in many AA meetings, and from many AAer's, this thinking that AA is about stopping drinking/recovery one day at a time is totally false. The phrase, 'one day at a time' comes from the serenity prayer (living one day at a time) and NOT from AA.
The founders of AA got sober 'for good and all' (forever; to never drink again) -- see the chapter The Doctor's Nightmare, pg 181, second to last sentence of second to last paragraph; they did NOT get sober 'one day at a time.' We live in today, not yesterday and not tomorrow, therefore we live one day at a time, but we get sober just like the founders did----for good 'n all; forever; to never drink again.
(o:
NoelleR
The founders of AA got sober 'for good and all' (forever; to never drink again) -- see the chapter The Doctor's Nightmare, pg 181, second to last sentence of second to last paragraph; they did NOT get sober 'one day at a time.' We live in today, not yesterday and not tomorrow, therefore we live one day at a time, but we get sober just like the founders did----for good 'n all; forever; to never drink again.
(o:
NoelleR
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
Dont get to well to fast was something I needed to learn. Because my trouble times were when I felt great, was when I would tend to relapse.. So if I dont stay in the moment and just for now and today. I would also go crazy thinking about forever.
I do not believe any alcoholic/addict can say they will never drink/drug again. I have seen way too many fail with long term sobriety. What I can say is that I am willing to do today and everyday what I need to for my daily reprieve.
What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our "spiritual condition". — (AA BB p.85)
What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our "spiritual condition". — (AA BB p.85)
I love one day at a time
It has applications for me far beyond recovery.
I was always worrying about my future...that is, when I wasn't regretting my past.
I've learned to try and refocus my energy on today.
Like you EAE I've also learned the difference between a bad day and a good one can be as little as 6 hours sleep.
For someone who used to spend weeks on end living in bad days...that was a real revelation to me too
D
It has applications for me far beyond recovery.
I was always worrying about my future...that is, when I wasn't regretting my past.
I've learned to try and refocus my energy on today.
Like you EAE I've also learned the difference between a bad day and a good one can be as little as 6 hours sleep.
For someone who used to spend weeks on end living in bad days...that was a real revelation to me too
D
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
When Smitty and Billy had one of their last talks.
Bob told Bill to remember to just keep it simple. It just that dont drink my friend. Just dont drink. One foot in front of the other, One day at a time.They never said forever.
Bob told Bill to remember to just keep it simple. It just that dont drink my friend. Just dont drink. One foot in front of the other, One day at a time.They never said forever.
I've felt the exact same way, in fact I've had that same internal dialogue about the vaporizer. Doing edibles is also "harmless" and I did a LOT of those over the years.
When I took things one day at a time it created a lot of overhead for me, which in turn created a pretty negative environment. There was always this fear and anxiety that I was sick and diseased and there was no cure and I had to live just one moment at a time and be under this gloomy cloud forever.
One day I came to the realization that this was a chosen reality that I had created for myself. It's not science, it's not fact, it's a set of ideals, a different way of thinking, that's all it is. I'm sure everyone doesn't see it in such a negative way, but for me I could not accept a lifelong illness that I had to work at daily, I decided that I would just quit, and it would be that simple.
I jumped to AVRT for a while too, but eventually abandoned some aspects of it because I didn't like the idea of taking parts of myself and demonizing them. There is no AV, there is no sinister power at work here, there's just me and my thoughts, and at fifteen weeks I can't justify fighting every day against a feeling that doesn't show up all that often anymore.
The other night however it did show up, I was on the john and out of nowhere I got hit with the hardest craving I've had in a really long time. I didn't fight it off or tough it out, I just didn't engage it, didn't try to rationalize my reasons to quit. I had already made up my mind to stop and that was that, there's no more room for discussion.
Whatever works for you great, but that's just my two cents on why the one day at a time / incurable disease model will never work for me.
When I took things one day at a time it created a lot of overhead for me, which in turn created a pretty negative environment. There was always this fear and anxiety that I was sick and diseased and there was no cure and I had to live just one moment at a time and be under this gloomy cloud forever.
One day I came to the realization that this was a chosen reality that I had created for myself. It's not science, it's not fact, it's a set of ideals, a different way of thinking, that's all it is. I'm sure everyone doesn't see it in such a negative way, but for me I could not accept a lifelong illness that I had to work at daily, I decided that I would just quit, and it would be that simple.
I jumped to AVRT for a while too, but eventually abandoned some aspects of it because I didn't like the idea of taking parts of myself and demonizing them. There is no AV, there is no sinister power at work here, there's just me and my thoughts, and at fifteen weeks I can't justify fighting every day against a feeling that doesn't show up all that often anymore.
The other night however it did show up, I was on the john and out of nowhere I got hit with the hardest craving I've had in a really long time. I didn't fight it off or tough it out, I just didn't engage it, didn't try to rationalize my reasons to quit. I had already made up my mind to stop and that was that, there's no more room for discussion.
Whatever works for you great, but that's just my two cents on why the one day at a time / incurable disease model will never work for me.
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