inpieces314

So my "manager" (it is really a supervisory position-the only thing she does as #1 that I do not do as #2 is make the schedule) is trying to destroy my life.

She is an alcoholic. Bad. She has the DT's every day until about...12+1, and then they magically disappear, right around the time I start smelling vodka breath. Yeah, like I am stupid.

Anyway, we hate each other. I have been complaining about the way she treats me for a while. She is one of those power-hungry types, she already made several people leave the department, and it's ridiculous. So the store manager came up to me yesterday and said that they are taking me out of the department because of my attitude.

I know I am not so nice to customers at times, it has been discussed with me before. I know that I have a lot of personal issues, and while I am not bringing it to work with me, I do have bad days sometimes, and it is hard for me to hide it, being in a customer service job. I am not denying that, but she is making me absolutely miserable, constantly harping on me, about work, personal life, everything, screwing up my schedule constantly, making up stories about me to get me fired (which does not work, there are cameras everywhere), accusing me of stealing money, it just goes on and on. I am miserable there, and I have been for months now.

Anyway, I am angry, not because I am getting away from her, because that is what I want, but because she is really going to win this battle and get me demoted or fired or make me quit or whatever when she is the one drinking at work and losing track of money and making drunken mistakes and all that. If it weren't for me, she would have lost her own job long ago. I am very angry. I have to deal with her and her comments for the rest of the week and I don't really know what I am going to do about it.

Katiekate

Go into work.

Do your job.

Get through the week.

Don't let your ego get the best of you, it's not worth it.

Maybe start looking for another job and continue with your own recovery.

Trying to get over on her is only going to hurt you.

Sueski

Focus on the positive side, which is that she will not have any power over you after you go to another department. Her behavior will likely catch up to her. Maybe not, but she's not your problem.

Take a deep breath, paste a smile on your face, do the very best job you can for YOUR own sake. Treat her like she doesn't matter, because really, she doesn't.

It might help to read the sticky about quacking. If you can picture her as a great big duck quacking at you when she makes her comments, it might help you smile and let the garbage roll right on past you instead of getting stuck in it.

You can do it!!

Maylie

She is active alcoholic, she will never win in the long run.
Just try to get through the week and then you will be in a department.
Did you ever think about telling someone that she is drinks on the job?
Can't they give her a simple breath-a-lizer. (however that is spelt lol)

Justfor1

If she has "the shakes" in the morning she is a pretty advanced stage alcoholic. She probably has blackouts which makes her not a good supervisor. Does she have a boss? Not sure what type of business you work in but intoxicated workers are a great liability causing many accidents in the workplace. I once worked in a warehouse & our shop manager drove a forklift into crates of merchandise injuring 2 workers. He was drunk as a skunk but wasn't immediately fired. He was ordered to rehab which he got kicked out of & then was fired.

inpieces314

I work in a grocery store, customer service.

I heard that what is really going on is they are trying to get rid of her, but since we are a union job, it is hard to fire someone. And being drunk on the job doesn't cut it, they just send you to rehab and you come back and that's it.

She is an abusive supervisor, I wrote a paper for it in one of my college courses. No one likes her attitude and how she is acting since she is "in charge."

Anyway, from what I am told, this has nothing to do with me, but of course they wouldn't tell me that. They have to remove me from the situation in order to prove that she is the problem, because she keeps throwing me under the bus to save herself.

With her, this is personal. She hates me because I see her for what she really is, she can't hide her addiction from me. She hates my ABF because she really hates herself. She has never met him, I don't talk about him to her, nothing, but she always has some kind of comment about what an idiot I am to go back to him and all this crap like we are best buds and I tell her everything. I think she is mad that whoever it was in her life did not give her as many chances to change as I gave him. She is mad that I am going to meetings to help myself, that he is sober and going to meetings to help himself, and she is still out doing whatever she is doing.

Trust me, the alcohol is not her only problem. She should not be in charge of anyone if she can't be in charge of herself. Period.

fourmaggie

gosh...i have been hearing alot about BOSSs' turning a blind eye, its called the ELEPHANT in the room...

time to take this to the big guys...i would start with a letter...and dates and a journal...

to me, and my opinion only, this is called enabling on the JOB position...its because KNOW ONE KNOWS WHAT TO DO with an active drinker......time to find out eh? 3 strikes and your out...

its up to you and how much back bone you got...

inpieces314

They already know all about her. I have a big mouth, especially when I am angry.

I have proof. They don't care.

She's not stealing money, she's not losing money, nothing like that. They can't just get rid of her. So there has to be some kind of plan in place to make sure that once she gets fired, she can't come back (from the union).

It just really sucks that they have to do this to me in order to prove a point to her. It really sucks that I know she thinks she won this battle, and she really did. At what point do I stop fighting with her, because I am moving in a couple of months anyway, I hate working with her anyway, she makes me miserable anyway?

She absolutely cannot do her job without me there to pick up her slack. And I am not doing it anymore. Eventually the company will see what is going on, but at what expense to me and my name?

fourmaggie

ok, then stop enabling her...just stop and i would tell her that...you dont do her job, you dont get paid for it anyhow...
this disease IS PROGRESSIVE...its happening already...just be patient and talk to your HP...

offer her help in a recovery program, and tell her that...

the reason she dont like you? is because she knows YOU GET IT...thats why...

ooh ya, and one more tid bit...DONT REACT...when she asks something of you, just say, OK or nod, and move on....

redatlanta

It sounds to me, as you stated, that they do want to do something about it and are. It sounds like they do want to protect you, and are doing so by moving you out of the path of this abusive person.

Seems unfair that is you that has to move and not her - however this is business its not personal. Business looks after business not after people.

Be glad you still have a job. Be thrilled you don't have to deal with her anymore. Don't worry or care that she "won" - I don't agree with that statement but is being an alcoholic "winning"? Give a man (or woman) enough rope and he/she will hang themselves. Always.

marie1960

I know I am not so nice to customers at times, it has been discussed with me before. (inpieces)

No malice intended, but if you are in a customer service industry, your job duties are clearly defined for you. Best to keep the focus on YOU. You are allowing your negative emotions to rule. I would raise the bar for myself, and concentrate on me, and improving MY work ethic. To hell with her!!!

wellnowwhat

I used to manage people in customer service. The policies in place in most companies to fire someone are time-consuming and very detailed (in order to avoid costly lawsuits), and involve many notices plus timed opportunities to improve for the person targeted. Add in a union, and it is even more difficult.

As an employer I am prohibited from discussing what steps are being taken with that person's co-workers and subordinates and consequently I would often receive the "they aren't doing anything/enough" backlash. It was very frustrating!

Often in these situations the attitudes of the "they aren't doing anything" crowd would then have to be addressed, which would start "oh sure, they are talking to me, but nothing is said to her" gossip.

Just because you are not being told what is being done, does not mean it is not being addressed. You would not want your own private HR situations broadcast about the workplace.

It would seem that removing you from her department is a good thing for you - less daily contact.

Focus on "your side of the street" and do your job to the best of your ability and let her situation play out.

Focus on you.

SadHeart

She can't make you quit, only you can decide that.

And it sounds like you aren't being fired or demoted, just moved to a new department which is a win situation for you. No more her.

It also sounds like a lose situation for her, because she won't be able to get you to pick up the slack for her or be able to throw you under the bus. And in a perverse way, a lose for her sounds like a win for you.

So this sort of sounds like a win win situation for you? Especially if the new department isn't customer service which you apparently don't like much anyway if you aren't nice to the customers. (I could never do customer service).

I don't understand how she knows your personal business with your ABF if you don't talk about it at work, but maybe that's something to consider. The people at my work knew NOTHING about my A.

Finally, they have to be careful with how they fire her if she's union and if she's an alcoholic. The Americans with Disabilities Act makes it hard to fire people with the 'disease' of alcoholism. It's not expressly covered, but implied and companies want to make sure they don't have to fight a lawsuit. Companies almost always give you a rehab stint first before firing if there has been no damage or criminal behavior.

You seem to be worried about what people will think of you, and I understand. You are with your coworkers 40 hours a week, of course you want them to like you. But if you are pleasant to them and do your job well, they will think well of you no matter what she says.

It's very hard. A's are everywhere. We can draw boundaries and leave partners, we can move away and limit contact with parents and siblings. We can do tough love with our kids--but we have NO power to protect ourselves from alcoholic coworkers and worse yet drunken bosses.

You have my greatest sympathy. WHen you say you are going to move in a couple months, does that mean to a new job completely at a different company?

inpieces314

Yeah, when I leave I am going to a different company. I am leaving to pursue my graduate degree, and moving closer to the schools in my state that offer the degree I want. She also just assumes things about the ABF, and she is totally off the mark all the time. I honestly think that all the stuff she says about him is really her talking about herself.

My problem is not with customers in general, just difficult ones. It's hard to keep myself under control when they are doing everything they can to make you lose your cool. Sometimes, I do. Everyone does at some point. It's just that my temper is so quick that I don't wait until the customer leaves to do it sometimes. In general, I am okay, although definitely not the nicest customer service person out there.

I think it is good that I can say that my problems are not all because of her. I know what my issues are, and I told the store manager that, but the issue is that she is out of control, there are other employees she has done this to, and how can you tell me that I am the one with the problem when I am the fifth person to move out of the department in this year?

Taking5

Sorry you are going through this. She certainly sounds like an alcoholic. I'm not sure what you should do, other than find another job.

Now forgive me while I rant about something in your post that needs correcting and many people have the same misconceptions about - DTs.

DTs does not stand for detox or the shakes, it stands for delirium tremens. No one has DTs daily. DTs take 5 to 10 days or more to recover from, assuming you survive. DTs are an emergency and require immediate hospitalization and have up to a 35% mortality rate if not treated.

People with DTs frequently hallucinate and are unable to even carry on a coherent conversation and often go into a coma or seizure. Heart attacks and strokes are also common, and going to work is an absolute impossibility, no matter how simple your job is. One of the primary medical goals when treating DTs is prevention of the patient's death.

Again forgive the rant but too many people don't understand what DTs are.

choublak

Really...someone once told me DTs were also called "the shakes".

Taking5

Delirium Tremens is Latin for "Delirious Trembling". So the shakes are one symptom of the DTs, but being delirious is also required. Extreme confusion is common - to the point not knowing where you are, or not knowing who the president is, the date, or not knowing your own birthday. I was in the ER for alcohol detox and woke up confused. They asked me all 4 of the above questions.

Here is a good link from the NIH:

Delirium tremens - PubMed Health