inthemis

right im from the uk and in 2010 - 2011 i took well in excess of 100mg morphine hydrochloride almost every day. then managed to get on oxycontin 40's.. snorting, etc. never any iv as im **** scared of it!
However after quitting the job where i was in contact with the supplier i had no choice but to quit full stop and in all honesty i cant really remember much of the withdrawl, just that i was very anxious, stressed dizzy. scared to go out in public and all that. but to be fair, for the amount i was taking for a full 12 months i wouldve expected more of a Hellish experience.

Anyway, around 3 months ago i got back intouch with someone who can get me it and have since been taking 40mg oc a day, some days a little less some days a little more. Now im really worried about what withdrawl will be like because i now live with my parents and worry that they will be able to tell whats wrong with me. i reqally could do to kick this habit before it gets any worse again.. but then i again the little devil in my other ear keeps saying "why bother it wasnt that bad last time" which is true in fairness and im now wondering if im somehow a human who is more capable of cold turkeying. i have an extremely high metabolism and only weigh 10 stone so could this be something to do with it or am i just underestimating this and living in a stupid dreamworld..

Thanks for reading if you could be bothered with all that and please let me know if anyone is in similar boat or had similar experience. in just confused and a bit scared

Dee74

Hi inthemis - welcome

I have no experience with oxys I'm afraid.

I'm not sure anyone here could really tell you what to expect anyway - none of us are doctors.

I think it's fair to say, tho, with any addiction, the sooner we kick it the better.

Living with your folks and maybe having them find out is not really the best reason to keep using anyway, I'd reckon?

You might like to also check out our substance abuse forum:
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

D

MidnightBlue

Hi, Inthemis. Welcome to SR.

I haven't had experience with this substance, but I think the best choice for you is to see a doctor about that, since withdrawls go different for different people. You can check the thread where the substance abuse is discussed. I am sure, you'll find usefeul information there:

Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information.

Take care and stick around.

inthemis

thanks for the quick reply's ill check that link asap and hopefully see a doctor monday. im not up for rehab cos i dont thin its gotten that far due to the fact ive had the same problem that lasted a year that was more abusive and i just packed it in myself. The irony of all this is that (not that this is essential but im hoing this is the kind of forum you can just get things off your chest with people in similar situations) i broke up with my ex gf due to the mental side effects i had when coming off it the last time. and it seems im back playing with fire again because of feelings abut that very event. i cant seem to do myself any favours ever lol ive tried counseling and therapy, anti depressants the lot. nothing works so i just find myself turning to drugs when im in this state of mind.i just feel its getting to the "need to take" part rather than the "hmm i fancy getting a bit high tonite" part if you get me.

sorry to babble on and i really appreciate your welcome and reading.

Thank you

MidnightBlue

Inthemis, whatever happens in your life, turning to drugs does not solve the problem, it is making it worse (I'm sure, you've heard this already about a thousand times, but still). It's great that you decided to see a doctor. And keep posting, SR hepled me a lot to stay sober.

Have a good day.

Dee74

I think a lot of us 'self medicated' regardless of what our drug of choice was inthemis - I know my self medication with alcohol turned on me.

but, if you say you've tried a lot of other things for your depression/mental issues and nothing works as well as oxys...

do you think that maybe your addiction is screwing with your head a little there?

I think there's got be other healthier ways to approach the problem - sometimes you may need to try a few different approaches and give them a little time to work, I think?

D

inthemis

i know exactly where you are coming from and agree completely. its just a lot harder than it sounds. ive been a heavy drug user of pretty much everything youve heard of over the years and im only 24. everything ive just got bored of and left alone but obviously with opiates theres the physical rubbish to get through!

Over the last few years ive developed a massive interest in metaphysics and a modern outlook on spirituallity. i am trying my best to put this into practice and i will definately mention this to my doctor. if i can get more into that side of things and find "inner peace" (without trying to sound a bit crazy) i know i can progress with my life but drugs have always been a massive temptation in my life and due to the area i live and all my friends and being a nightclub DJ every weekend to make ends meet its hard to kee away from the temptation. as much as i want to be a free clean human being theres always the other side that says "oh bollox to it itll be alrite" if u get me.

Coming on this forum has probably been one of the biggest steps ive taken so far and i cant explain how very grateful i am for your instant support and advice

Thank you again if it wont bug you all too much ill ttry and keep a sort of diary on this post because i think this will be a great help in me finding my freedom from all this nonsense

inthemis

its 8am here in england and i have one pill left. im not gonna have it today and im gonna see how long i can go without taking it at all. hold off and resist as long as possible. i will get back on here and update how it goes.

Thank you again xx

Dee74

No probs - have a good day inthemis

D

Dee74

We don't allow multiple threads so to save confusion I moved your original thread here, inthemis.


D

inthemis

cheers for that i tried myself but couldnt do it then realized it had moved here anyway so i had a bit of a wierd moment, then i read your message. thanks mate x

Dee74

no problem - my dinnertime here...so have a good day

D