Blondie0419

Having trouble sleeping tonight. Woke up and have been thinking about some things in my past I am not proud of. Ok maybe dwelling is a better word. I am not doing AA but have seen that making amends with people you have hurt is one of the steps. Does talking to those you have wronged help you to forgive yourself for things you have done in the past? There are some people I would like to talk to. Any advice for me on the best way to do this? I am a little nervous about it, but think it might be a good next step.

MidnightBlue

Hi, Blondie.

I think before you make amends with someone you wronged, it can help to ask yourself: "What I am expecting from it?". Do I need forgiveness to move forward in my life? If people do not forgive me, then what? Do I consider forgiveness as permission not to beat myself up over my mistakes?

For me forgiveness works when I honestly regret what I've done and ready to forgive myself for this. Then it is easier to talk to other people and ask for forgiveness.

It is just my point of view, but I see it this way.

I wish you to have some sleep tonight so you can welcome tomorrow with a smile on your face.

Blondie0419

This is excellent! Thank you. I think I have some more work to do before I'm ready to reach out.

tvdani

Hi , Blondie just reading your post totally new here me that is and couldn't sleep last nite either , going throught withdraws again and so sick of it ...I totally understand where your coming from because i let peoples down in the past 5 years tooo including family ,girlfriend (ex) friends, mainly myself , I did the 12 steps 2009 not for me ... sorry never help me with my addiction .. i wont amend to peoples i hurt or love for one reason they d'ont get it and d'ont understand and they never will ..I feel the best thing to do its to show peoples u care for that your clean now and you stop doing things u did that hurt them...I know that is how i will deal with it when im ready unfortunately i been trying to do it myself no one to turn too .. and its not working for me very well ...If u did it be pround and show the world that u did it Blondie .... Good Luck

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Just for me working the steps removed the wreckage of my past. Making amends is for me and not for them whether they forgive me or not. I did my part and got relief. Hope this helps. You can do this if you want it bad enough. Recovery is for people who want it and not the ones who need it. If everyone who needed it was on SR you would not be able to get on the board. Good luck on your journey. Logo

Blondie0419

Tvdani, I like the idea on focusing on how you treat the people you have hurt in the past. I'm going to really focus on that!