escapist

I am still here. I can't believe I have not had a drink. I don't feel exuberant. I feel like I am disconnected from my emotions. I am constantly thinking about staying sober , constantly thinking about my behavior when I am drunk, my head hurts from the intensity of never-ending thoughts. Mental cruelty. Ha.

Weasel1966

E, I just posted that I am having a down day. But while I am, when I read your post I cannot help but want to support you in some way.

Sobriety is rough at first. All the thoughts of what I did. But go easy on yourself. The fact you are here is a testament to your desire to change things for the better.

I love my days so much more. So a down day or overwhelming thoughts are something that I have learned to manage better as time passes. I am sure you will too.

K

mecanix

Depression / dysthymia is the price of life which some of us have to pay. I've had to learn healthier ways to to deal with it than getting out of it, it is not the price of sobriety.

For me drunkeness at best just plasterd over problems it never dealt with them .

Bestwishes, M

lilgolden73

I know what you mean....I dont wanna face any of this either sober....but I have too....hang in there!

Thepatman

I'm in tour boat. Tough day. All my friend are drinkers. So I'm alone cleaning the entire house so I don't go nuts. I need some new friends and new hobbies. Never realized how much my drinking was a hobby.

hypochondriac

Just keep going escapist, it will get better x

Dee74

It took me a while to lose that feeling of nothingness escapist...
but do keep going...it gets better...we do feel joy and happiness again

D

DarkDays

How long have you been sober, I still can feel like this at 284 days. I can feel real good for days then I am back into this detached feeling less place where I just plod along indifferent to absolutely everything , like today

escapist

I am in the middle of day 6. I drank wine and whiskey every single day for the past 4 years. I am really messed up. Bloated and haggard. I can't believe I have made it this far. I am foggy. I mean downright dense. Can't finish a sentence. I wonder if I have wet brain. I am existing. I don't feel anything. I am sober period. No happy no sad. Incomplete thoughts swirling around incessantly. The past one second the future the next . I am not warm and fuzzy and full of self esteem because I am doing something I thought was impossible

DarkDays

All I can say, is keep going forward, push through this, you wont have to do it again.

Hevyn

Escapist - I'm sorry you're going through this. I remember feeling that way for a while after quitting, but eventually I came out of the fog and into the sunlight. We're so used to numbing ourselves, it's like learning to live again in a different way. Your emotions are understandably raw right now, at only 6 days. It's a wonderful achievement, though.

Be kind to yourself - your body is trying to heal. You've been through some damaging years and you'll go through many phases as you get well again. What you're feeling is normal for someone who drank every day - but you won't stay stuck on square one. It's good that you're talking about your feelings here - we all understand what you're going through. Please don't despair - there will be happy days ahead of you.

Toss

My mind is disjointed and my thoughts are scattered. The best analogy I have thought of is a skipping record. My brain keeps saying (talking about drinking) "it's coming (skip), it's coming (skip), it's coming (skip), etc....

The fog will eventually lift but the years of drinking that I have endured cannot be undone or reset so quickly.

Toss

duane1

I always tell people that I slept through the 1st 2 weeks of sobriety. I half did it because I was feeling like you were. The other half was because my body was so tired.
Trust that it will get better if you keep with it. It really does.

DisplacedGRITS

perhaps it would be good to get out of your own head with a good book or some distraction. it's easy to feel lost and emotionless when we sit around and think about what we've lost and what we're not doing and when we've not had time to develop and affinity for sobriety yet. you don't stop drinking and immediately fall in love with sobriety. it takes time for being sober to settle in before you start really developing a relationship with it. for now, a book or a movie or two or something distracting and pleasing may help to move your days along until you're feeling well enough to start noticing the changes occurring in your life.