Lovemykids125

I come here when I need help, guidance, and advice. I have an ABF we have 2 kids together, I explained it all in a forum awhile ago but I haven't been on here in awhile because things have been fine. He has been stable on methadone for a few months now and I just got off work and got a call from the correctional facility saying they have him for felony robbery and he has court at 8am tomorrow morning. I am so confused/scared/worried and upset/angry and I have no idea what to do. Does anyone know anything about this and what min/max charges are? I'm so scared for my kids I don't want them to grow up without their father because he is such an amazing dad. I'm so confused because he is not violent and the only thing I could think of is that he got mixed up in the wrong crowd but I asked if that bad influence guy was there too and they said no so I don't know what to think. Please please please send prayers for my family I like to think everything happens for a reason but I am so scared for my kids they don't deserve this and I'm so angry at him for how selfish he was to get involved with something that would take so much away from his family. I talked to my best friend on the phone tonight and she really calmed me down and reminded me that he needs to sit in there and learn from this and that I definitely should not bail him out. I can't believe I got myself into this mess dating a guy like this, he is NOT the type to go to jail and we've been dating for 5 years have 2 kids together I feel like such an idiot what am I even going to tell my kids?!!! I'm 23 and I'm a nurse I should not have to deal with this I've always been independent so it doesn't scare me that I can't rely on him because I never have but seriously my kids I just cannot stop thinking about it. I looked it up online and people are saying 5 years to life in jail we have a 8-mo old baby I DON'T DESERVE THIS and especially not my kids either!! Would this have ANYTHING to do with drugs? (besides if he was robbing someone to get money for drugs). I just don't get it, I know he had at least $500 on him today and the time he was at his lowest most desperate for drugs he just pawned his iPod. So to me this makes no sense, it couldn't have been for drugs but other than for drug money would a felony robbery have anything to do with drugs?? Thank you for letting me vent and I'm not going to decline any hard truth, I just would like to know if anyone knows people who have gone through this before?!

Lovemykids125

By the way I know I said he is such an amazing dad and sound real stupid saying that after this crap went down but just saying he has NEVER done something like this before and he sacrificed a lot for our kids, he took care of them while I was in nursing school and supported them while I had no job, he has been fighting addiction for years now and that doesn't make him a horrible person but the minute I heard "felony robbery" I can never look at him the same way.

DoubleBarrel

Don't talk to him on the phone and don't talk to him in jail. They record everything.
It's possible that he didn't do it, and it's possible he will get a break. But you need to be smart. No talking. To anyone. And this goes triple for him, especially anyone else in jail. The facts will come out later. Be patient and let him get an attorney.

Ann

I'm sorry you are going through this, and it must be frightening for your children too.

Right now you don't need to do anything except take good care of yourself and your children.

If you have any live support, at meetings or family groups or family, this may be a good time to reach out to them as well.

However this unfolds, you will be okay. Once you know the result of all this, you will have decisions to make. Today you don't have to do anything except take care of yourself and your children.

Hugs

Justfor1

Disease or not, felony robbery is a serious charge. If someone is using illegal narcotics then they are mixed up with the "wrong crowd". You have to be because narcotics are illegal & drug culture is anti-social. Sneaking around buying & getting money for dope is not average society type behavior.

wow04

There is no armed robbery in the state of Ohio. It is aggrevated robbery if a weapon is used. My boyfriend was into crack real bad. He robbed a grocery store then a gas station at knife point. He was charged with 3rd degree robbery and 1st degree aggrevated robbery. It was his first time in trouble and he spent 4 years in prison. He will tell you to this day God put him there for a reason. He has been clean since and works a strong program. He sponsors 3 guys.

I am so sorry you are going through this, but I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason.

My prayers are with you and your family!!

Ilovemysonjj

My son is in jail for burglary (our home he broke into) and since he was out of control on heroin, it is the best place he could be right now. If you believe in God, then know that He has a hand in this. Your boyfriend needs to see and feel his bottom. All of the other advice above is very good advice. YOU are not the answer to your boyfriends problem. He needs to deal with this on his own. YOU take care of your precious children and prepare to acknowledge that your boyfriend has relapsed. You need to focus on what you want in life. Trust me, all addictions lead to the same place: jails, institutions and death.

interrupted

My prayers go out to the victims of your boyfriend's criminal behavior, and that includes your kids. That's all I can give right now.

johnnamjh

I am so sorry for what you are going through. My daughter's ABF lived with us for the past seven months. I, in my codependent ways, took him in as one of my own kids. A few weeks ago he was kicked out of rehab and went back to live at his Dads. When he came over to visit he stole one of my checks and cashed it, thus committing two Class C felonies. He is now in jail and no one will post his bond.

I agree that you need to look at what the rules and procedures are in your state. Since I am the 'victim,' I actually have a victim advocate in the court system and she already told me that for a first offense, even for a felony, they will usually get probation. So, we are just waiting now to see what happens.

Hugs and hang in there. My daughter is 21 so bit younger than you, but is feeling a lot of the same feelings as you. She is really working on trying to let things play out and then watching what he does and not listening anymore to what he says.

Hang in there,

drc5426

You say things were fine and he was stable. Has he been living with you and the kids again or was he elsewhere?

He's been on and off with varying levels of use over the past 5 years. He would ripoff your credit cards and sell his stuff at times. I wouldn't be surprised if this robbery has everything to do with drugs.

I guess you really won't know until court, but please look at this objectively, for yourself and most importantly the kids.