Maybe Somone Can Give me some in-put here
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 73
Maybe Somone Can Give me some in-put here
My B.F. quit drinking several months ago and I'm very happy that he did.
However I have noticed that since he quit, he is hateful and says very sour-castic comments to me sometimes.
I'm very confused is this part of the recovery...
Thanks Everyone
However I have noticed that since he quit, he is hateful and says very sour-castic comments to me sometimes.
I'm very confused is this part of the recovery...
Thanks Everyone
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Only thing I can say is, have you told him how you feel when he says these things?
You should feel comfortable to tell him. Having stopped drinking does not excuse hurtful words we say. Except maybe for the first week, but after that, when one eeally want's to stop, only happiness comes out. In my case at least.
You should feel comfortable to tell him. Having stopped drinking does not excuse hurtful words we say. Except maybe for the first week, but after that, when one eeally want's to stop, only happiness comes out. In my case at least.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: texas
Posts: 103
I have just learned about a dry drunk myself. Not sure of the true definition, but from what I understand:
A person can get sober, but still have issues. So, that is why they need to go to AA or some type of counseling to deal with all of their problems.
I had dated by exab for 4 years, during that time, I only knew him to be sober for a week.(had a wreck, sobered up during his time in the hospital)
When he came home, oh my goodness. He was a monster!!!! So mean and hateful, so emotionally abusive towards me.
He even told me, that I would not like him as a sober person.
A person can get sober, but still have issues. So, that is why they need to go to AA or some type of counseling to deal with all of their problems.
I had dated by exab for 4 years, during that time, I only knew him to be sober for a week.(had a wreck, sobered up during his time in the hospital)
When he came home, oh my goodness. He was a monster!!!! So mean and hateful, so emotionally abusive towards me.
He even told me, that I would not like him as a sober person.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,910
Quitting drinking is uncomfortable. The brain is used to getting that alcohol on a fairly steady basis. When it all of a sudden stops, it can affect the mind and body in varying degrees and in various ways. Just stopping drinking, without working on the underlying reasons why they drank abusively, can make for a very unhappy person.
Iceberg Ahead!
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Out at Sea
Posts: 1,177
" For those alcoholics who do embrace the A.A. program, the recuperation time may be difficult. Constantly keep in mind that "Easy Does It." Don't expect immediate, complete recovery for the drinker or the family. Alcoholism, the illness, took a long time to develop, convalescence is a slow process, too. There may be what are known as "dry drunks," emotional tensions in the alcoholic that have nothing to do with the actual drinking. Be patient. At such times you may think things are worse than they were in the drinking days, but they're not. Patience and tolerance will help these trying times pass.
Extreme fatigue for a year or more after drinking stops may be one of the symptoms of the drinker's withdrawal from alcohol. Don't try to force things. Plan your own activities and continue to go to Al-Anon meetings.
Don't be overprotective. Recovering alcoholics need to learn to live in a world where alcohol is served and answer for themselves." So You Love an Alcoholic, page 5 (free Al-Anon pamphlet about alcoholism, how to help yourself, "do's" and "don'ts," and the road back through sobriety).
The brain is withdrawing from all the chemical effects for about a year or more. In addition, the drinker now will have to begin to deal with all those emotions that the alcohol has numbed from the beginning of the drinker's drinking career. Also realize that the drinker is emotionally stunted, stuck back in time where the alcohol chloroformed the drinker's emotions. The drinker is not emotionally mature like some "normie" his or her age.
Extreme fatigue for a year or more after drinking stops may be one of the symptoms of the drinker's withdrawal from alcohol. Don't try to force things. Plan your own activities and continue to go to Al-Anon meetings.
Don't be overprotective. Recovering alcoholics need to learn to live in a world where alcohol is served and answer for themselves." So You Love an Alcoholic, page 5 (free Al-Anon pamphlet about alcoholism, how to help yourself, "do's" and "don'ts," and the road back through sobriety).
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