MesoFreak

Yes, I haven't entirely quit, but I haven't entirely started... if that makes sense lol. For example, I drank last Friday, but stopped after a certain point. I didn't drink for three days, then had one with dinner yesternight and went home. Although I am still drinking, I am wary and on my guard of it. I want to stop not because something dramatic happened to me like the past three attempts. I do want to stop because I realize: I don't need it anymore; it has put me in harms way; it has put others in harms way; my mom and girl friend deserve a better me, and deserve for me to be around to take care of them; I need to love myself more, my health, and drinking has deteriorated that in more ways than one; I have more to lose drinking it than I do just letting it go; life (my life) is more precious than a drink; my future kids need not live with an alcoholic (and no my gf is not pregnant); my friends deserve not to see me violent; there is to much at stake.

I do however realize, unfortunately, that all my past decisions when it comes to drinking have irreversible consequences: physically, emotionally, mentally, and to those around me. I have no other choice but to live and deal with bad decisions I made as a young man. On that note, I know I can't advice anyone on much, but the one thing I will say: Any decision you make, good or bad, will have certain outcomes to them depending on which you chose. That single statement is why at this point in my life I have so many regrets. I wish I had a time machine, a rewind button, a just kidding moment, but I don't. So I do my best at making the best decisions I can, and right now one of those decisions is to stop drinking.