maxilinia

I did well and managed to not drink for a week and then fell off the wagon over the weekend. Experiencing the hell of the shaking, sour stomach right now. It's time I admit to myself completely that I cannot drink even once. It's not worth feeling like this. I appreciate your support and kind words as I struggle through this again.

Rosiepetal

Just start again.
Hugs to you, you want to try & that's what matters.

dogmamma

You can do it. Stay here and read like I am. It helps.

I hit it pretty hard this weekend too. It woke me up. Aside from the physical withdrawal, I am starting to feel emotionally better because I am trying again and not letting this win.

Change4Better

Good for you for coming back and posting. I had to write a similar post on Sunday. The feeling sucks but there's always hope I *won't* have to do it again! :-)

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

Know that you will never have to go through this again.

Sapling

It's funny how we have to go back and test the water....And it just get's deeper every time...Learn from it....Add to what you were doing...And try again.

Itchy

Ok one last time for repeating the first seven days and then on to never having to go through it again. You had to learn it. Are you doing anything locally for support as well as here? Docs, counseling, AA, rehab? Any or all of those can help. SR is all I need now, although I used all of those to get started.
Welcome!

maxilinia

I searched for local AA meetings. I have a friend of mine who knows what I am going through and has been very encouraging and open to me talking to her about it anytime. I think I need to open up to my parents and sister about what I'm dealing with. My dad gave up drinking a few years ago because he realized he had a problem. I know my family will e supportive, but there is something quite awful about having to admit it to them.

maxilinia

I just want to go to sleep right now but I'm afraid of the insomnia. That part was quite awful the last time.

Sapling

You can look at it likes it's awful...Or you can look at it as a start that will make you accountable to yourself....As well as them. I found it very freeing...It was like a weight taken off me....But I had to back it up with some action....That action for me was AA.....Coming up on 16 months sober....I'm glad I did what I did.

tomsteve

max, you are in a very good location of MN where theres a jillion AA meetings.

on the tellin yer family, admitting it to them could be you feel it is humiliating?

Sapling

If you're having a hard time sleeping...See if you can see yourself in this book....

The text of Alcoholics Anonymous

I'd recommend checking out a meeting....You'll have great support there...And you have great support here....USE IT....You don't have to do this alone.

maxilinia

Well, it's 4:09 am. I haven't slept at all but the good news is I'm not experiencing that awful shaking or upset stomach. I've spent hours on my phone playing countless games rather than lie here and wish I was sleeping. Today is a new day. It will be tiring but a good one.

backbeat

Melatonin is all natural and helps put me to sleep every night. I haven't been able to go to sleep on my own without it since i turned 40.

backbeat

Maxilinia I know your pain. I did it last week and it's horrible. You can do this. We can do it.