Needs vs wants
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Needs vs wants
For me needs hold an air desperation.
Wants hold and air of hope.
As a kid I thought everything was a need. I need that toy or I will die!
In my 20's and 30's I needed that car or I needed that house.
I had few wants from my perspective.
Then when my addictions took hold.... Oh boy. Things flipped on me.
It became I don't want that house. I don't want that car. I need this high. I need this drink.
All very f'ucked up.
For a lot of years I said I need to get better. I need to sober up.
That right there .... When I hear someone say "I need to recover or else..." I know they may not be in the right place to make that happen. I was not when I said that so I assume others may be similar.
When I said to myself I need to get better it was out of desperation. Like I will die if I don't stop kind of need. And that was reality.
It was an empty need if you know what I mean. It was from no further than my tongue. Never from my heart.
Since April of this year, when recovery was mandatory from my doctors point of view I said it again. I need to recover. Yes, out of desperation. From the tongue yet again.
Over each passing month since then things changed. Now it's to the point that each passing week things change.
The most astonishing thing, and the point of this share, is through grace I have shifted from the desperation of my needs to the hope of my wants.
This site, AA, my sponsor, the friends I made on SR have shown me hope.
I woke this morning calm. I woke clear. I woke hopeful. On a Saturday? I would normally be waiting for the bar to open at 11am to get a recovery drink.
I am so thankful today that my recovery drink this morning was a tall cold glass of seltzer.
I felt I never had a choice between my wants and needs. And that's a correct statement to some degree. But when this shift where my recovery went from need to want. It was not just a change. It was a true blessing.
K
Wants hold and air of hope.
As a kid I thought everything was a need. I need that toy or I will die!
In my 20's and 30's I needed that car or I needed that house.
I had few wants from my perspective.
Then when my addictions took hold.... Oh boy. Things flipped on me.
It became I don't want that house. I don't want that car. I need this high. I need this drink.
All very f'ucked up.
For a lot of years I said I need to get better. I need to sober up.
That right there .... When I hear someone say "I need to recover or else..." I know they may not be in the right place to make that happen. I was not when I said that so I assume others may be similar.
When I said to myself I need to get better it was out of desperation. Like I will die if I don't stop kind of need. And that was reality.
It was an empty need if you know what I mean. It was from no further than my tongue. Never from my heart.
Since April of this year, when recovery was mandatory from my doctors point of view I said it again. I need to recover. Yes, out of desperation. From the tongue yet again.
Over each passing month since then things changed. Now it's to the point that each passing week things change.
The most astonishing thing, and the point of this share, is through grace I have shifted from the desperation of my needs to the hope of my wants.
This site, AA, my sponsor, the friends I made on SR have shown me hope.
I woke this morning calm. I woke clear. I woke hopeful. On a Saturday? I would normally be waiting for the bar to open at 11am to get a recovery drink.
I am so thankful today that my recovery drink this morning was a tall cold glass of seltzer.
I felt I never had a choice between my wants and needs. And that's a correct statement to some degree. But when this shift where my recovery went from need to want. It was not just a change. It was a true blessing.
K
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