Eunectes

My mum who is a long time member of aa brought up a small resentment she had with a fellow group member at her meeting the other night. The person in question is a large male bodybuilder and my mum is 5ft. His reaction was appalling, swearing at her with his back to the door so she couldn't get out of the room etc. So me being an alcoholic I have taken a major resentment to this person, drank on it, and made it very clear how I feel about him on Facebook (which I have now deleted) and on the phone to a couple of people I shouldn't have involved. I dunno what to do, I feel so ashamed now and I just hope I haven't made things worse for my mum, she doesn't know any of the things I've done, just I hope it doesn't get back to her. The fear has returned!

Natom

The whole principles before personalities thing. I know it's hard when you or someone you know has a resentment and you end up getting involved. The guy should not have acted the way he did. Did the meeting secretary do anything about his behavior? The only thing you can do is get yourself back to a meeting. I don't know what else to suggest.

Eunectes

There is no meeting secretary, and my mum has not even had so much as a text or phone call from anyone in the group to see how she is

Natom

There isn't a meeting secretaty?!?!?!? How does the meeting run? Wow. You do get groups like that sometimes. Full of people who are clean but still clinging onto sickness. It's a shame really because it certainly isn't the majority of people in my experience.

Eunectes

Well needless to say me and my mum won't be returning to that meeting now, and I suppose the best thing I can do about what I've already done is just not make it any worse?

Natom

Stuff like this happens. Try to find a different meeting for you both to go to. Perhaps phone up AA-Area or National and tell them the state of the meeting and how it is being run with no secretary.

Dee74

I don't see you can do much else Eunectes.
That and find a different meeting

D

Maylie

I would just find a different meeting and use this as a learning point.

It doesn't sound like that was a healthy meeting to be going to anyway.

Bgh2002

I would go and talk to him if possible. Perhaps he too is feeling really bad about how he acted at the meeting. You drank because of it, what if he is too. That acting is really unhealthy during recovery. The best thing to do I would think is to forgive him, hes probably going through a lot also. I know when it comes to me, I don't know how to handle my emotions well.

Anna

I wouldn't go near him again. I don't like bullies.

I do hope that you find some peace in your recovery.

Eunectes

Thing is if I talk to him and he reacts like that with me, which is a possibility after the messages indent on Facebook etc, who knows what will happen. I think I will stay away. But I am disappointed in the group as a whole, my mum had been a member for a while and not one member got in touch to offer support.

Eunectes

Anyone apart from me think this is wrong? I think a group should support members? I'm sure and I know for a fact that the ******* that caused this has received support and has been on 'spiritual' hikes this weekend past. Is AA in Scotland just screwed up? Or am I expecting too much from a group?

silly

Sounds like you might be expecting too much from this group. Seek out another group if you can!

Dee74

I'm not a member of AA Eunectes but I know meetings are made of people just like you and me - sometimes that's a good thing and sometimes not.

You can't make people be how you want, y'know?
I think you'd really be best letting this go....

There are good people out there, with solid recovery

Let your mother find a new meeting (and you yourself if you're so inclined) and refocus your efforts on the important stuff... like your recovery

D