krispy87

My current troubles with this, though I am still in the beginning stages, is that I keep thinking about the future. "How am I going to do this for the rest of my life?" "What about when I go on vacation?" "What is going to happen a year from now?" "What about this weekend when all my friends are going out?" "Will I be able to go to the football game in a couple weeks?"

Regardless of how petty the questions are, they still keep coming up. Especially the "rest of my life". I am only 25. I feel like I am still a child. "The rest of my life" seems like an eternity to me.

Anna

I think you'll find that it becomes easier, the longer that you are sober. The football games and parties become easier to deal with as you gain cofidence and as you change. Remember that recovery is not just about stopping drinking, it's about changing yourself and the way you deal with life.

If you try to stay in the moment and focus on your recovery, things will fall into place.

Weasel1966

I find you will pretty much get the same answer from most here.

You don't have a future. You have only a now.

With that in mind what are you going to do about now. And if you focuse on that with regard to drinking then nothing else matters.

Of course planning for tomorrow in other life area is essential. Just not drinking.

So plan that vacation. When it rolls around and you know how to handle now you will know what to do.

K

Dee74

Like you I worried about everything Krispy.

believe it or not, like Anna said, everything has a way of falling into place - it's not always what you might expect, and change will be involved - but I'm very happy with m sober life and the way it's turned out

D

Natom

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present. ~Babatunde Olatunji

Happier

It might help if you try not to worry to much about future events at this time. Today has enough to keep most of us occupied. It is nice to just go to bed each night with a sense of success rather than a queezy stomach, headache and dry-mouth. : )

I often wondered about whether I could be happy during future "events" without drinking. Turns out that I really didn't know what "happy" was until I started truly living sober. I don't want to let drinking take that true happieness away from me anymore.

hypochondriac

Thoughts like that drove me crazy early on too Krispy. Thing was there was no way I was capable of answering them right away. Early on I just needed to get through the day sober. If there was something happening and I wasn't sure how I would cope then I didn't go, and when I had no choice, my number one concern was getting out sober.

In my early days of sobriety I found it impossible to focus on the positives of being sober, it was more a question of 'how am I going to cope without it'! But the more I did cope without it the easier it became and I started to see the positive side of being sober, like now I can enjoy my time with friends much more because I am not worried about how much I am drinking, and won't holidays be more fun now I don't end up drunk in the afternoon...

Just concentrate on staying sober... those thoughts will only drive you to drink. Have you got any other support too Krispy? x

krispy87

Thank you for your words. I love the positivity. It makes me so hopeful for tomorrow.

My first step for support thus far was this site. I have a good friend who I turn to for support, as well, as she was in the same place I am inbefore attending an inpatient rehab treatment center. I have also turned to close friends who are very supportive. I know my next step is to go to meetings. My social anxiety has been "stopping" me from doing it yet, but I do feel that as the days pass I will gather that courage.

This site has done wonders, though. I can cry thinking about all the positive, wonderful people on here.

GottaWonder

I thought that was the tortoise from Kung Fu Panda, master Oogwei

quitforme79

I am having a problem with projections of the same kind. I just keep focusing on today and push those thoughts to the back burner. I have heard other alcoholics in AA & on SR talk about this too...we are not alone, it's natural. In a way, that in itself makes me feel better.

artsoul

I remember having the same thoughts... in fact, I discovered I that a lot of my thoughts/feelings were about the future, usually with a good dose of fear and negativity.

I googled "how to stay in the moment" - there's a lot of great reading on the internet if you're interested. I doesn't come easily at first, but the more you practice, the easier it gets.

MrsKing

The issue with having thoughts like those is that they can actually drive you to drink. I use AVRT and if you're familiar with that method you'll realise that it's all your addictive voice trying to convince you that drinking in the future is probably going to happen. At the beginning (before I came here and was told about AVRT) I, too, struggled with those thoughts. The way I got them to stop was through realising that any thought that supported drinking, now or in the future, was my addictive voice - a different part of my brain. Recognising it for what it was, acknowledging it but not conversing with it or arguing with it, helped so much in quieting it. You don't have to follow AVRT to understand that any thoughts or cravings for alcohol are not commands and you don't have to act upon them... they cannot put the drink inside you. Thoughts are just thoughts, they do not have control of the limbs which put alcohol inside you.

All the best... keep going. x