Sunshine19

Well I am back to Day 1. I tried this in August and got through two weeks without a drink and then was at a party and had 1. Which obviously turned into more than one. Then my boyfriend, our friend and I decided to do a 30 day detox. I got through one week, was at my waitressing job, and had a drink at the end of my shift. I didn't want to lie, so I told my boyfriend, who then came to my job and had a drink as well. This turned into going to other bars for the night, and then I missed my 4th day at my new day job. I woke up an hour after I was supposed to be there.

I am embarrassed that I am on day 1 again.

Embarrassed that I missed work yesterday.

I hate being back on day 1. I feel like I have such a long road ahead of me which overwhelms me even more.

Any advice...

Mizzuno

Hello,
This stuff can happen. Do you have any form of a recovery method? AA, AVRT, SMART....using this forum. What are you doing to ensure that you do not drink?

elderine

Hi,

I'm on Day 1, again, as well. Last Monday I promised myself that this absolutely was it, no more drinking, but I caved on Friday, drank Friday night and yesterday. So here I am again, frustrated, hung over, and also embarrassed. I've been trying to quit drinking for at least a couple of years at this point, and it's so hard. But we have to keep trying, right? There's no other viable option, and posting here seems to be a great way to keep that up (I'm new here as of this morning, and hoping that it's helpful).

Anyway, I say good job for showing up here! And I would guess that many of us here have struggled with many, many Day 1s.

Sunshine19

My plan of action is to keep posting here, continue with my healthy eating and exercising detox and not allow myself to pick up that first drink. My problem is, I am always ALL IN, but then when I am in the moment it is like my mind completely erases everything I have worked for, everything I want to be, and just automatically goes to, "Yeah, I'll have a margarita" I don't know how to remember what I am learning here, how I feel in the morning, etc. when I am in the moment.

DayTrader

"No drinking" plans didn't work for long for me. The fact that I could pull it off for a while led to the mistaken belief that I'd make it work sooner or later. I wasn't recognizing that "not drinking" was just the beginning. What made the difference was working on recovery - which begins when you stop the booze. Finding a way to be happy and content WHILE not drinking is what I'm referring to- aka, recovery from alcoholism. The fact that alcoholism effected me when I was NOT drinking, and arguably affected me more when I wasn't drinking, was a big revelation. It meant that I'd have to do more than just "not drink.".

In the past, when I'd "not drink" long enough, it was like life would almost imperceptibly get progressively more stressful, boring, or lonely. Sooner or later it would occur to me that this not drinking stuff might be worse than drinking....and relatively quickly, I'd be back drinking again....hoping it would be better or different this time. Well.....it wasn't ever better.

For me, recovery from alcoholism meant a lot of change. It meant coming to grips wih the fact that I'm alcoholic, that the "fix" was more than I was capable of, that some serious change was in order but that I better get some guidance as I didn't want to keep repeating this sober/drunk process.

AA was that process for me. Though I didn't like it at first and it seemed rather intrusive - there was no arguing with the results others were getting - and I'm talking about results that go far beyond "clean time." Theae were folks who seemed to be able to breeze through life, nothing tore them up much, and though they had problems in life.....they seemed quite content and peaceful most of the time.

That's what I wanted..... A way to not only not drink - but a way to do so AND be happy and content at the same time. It sure worked for me and a couple million other ppl.

Anna

Try not to let yourself get overwhelmed. When I let that happen, I usually ended up drinking because I felt so lost. Good for you for staying focused on recovery.

And, believe that the automatic 'yes' response can be changed. You can learn to believe that drinking is no longer an option and the automatic response will be 'no'.