sober / antisocial?
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 25
sober / antisocial?
My husband just left to go to the local bar and meet a bunch of friends. I declined, I want to c my friends other people drinking doesn't bother me, I just don't want to be at a bar, if they came to my house I'd hang out with my bottle of water all night. Going to a bar to hang out has lost all of its appeal. My husbands getting mad and thinks I'm being snobby. Does anyone out there still go to bar and just hang out? I'm starting to feel wimpy like if I hide from booze it wont find me
I don't think it's wimpy. I don't spend time around alcohol very often and I don't go to bars to hang out. My life has just gone in a different direction in recovery. The main thing is that you know what you need to do to stay sober and you have to be true to yourself. It's hard for others to understand how difficult this is.
I stayed away from bars for a long time.
I liken early recovery to an exercise regime or a weight lifting programme...noone starts off lifting their own body weight.
I waited until I knew my recovery was secure enough not to be affected by my surroundings or the company I kept.
I was a musician so I did go back to the bars for a while, with no problems...my recovery was secure....
but funny thing was, the more sober time I had, the more I'd changed - and the less I wanted to be in a bar with my heavy drinking mates anyway...I have better things to do with my time now
D
I liken early recovery to an exercise regime or a weight lifting programme...noone starts off lifting their own body weight.
I waited until I knew my recovery was secure enough not to be affected by my surroundings or the company I kept.
I was a musician so I did go back to the bars for a while, with no problems...my recovery was secure....
but funny thing was, the more sober time I had, the more I'd changed - and the less I wanted to be in a bar with my heavy drinking mates anyway...I have better things to do with my time now
D
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 141
It's not wimpy or snobby. I avoided it a lot during my first sober year and even now there are times where if I know everyone is going to be drinking, I may decline to go just because I don't feel like dealing with it. And let me clarify the "it" - that would be the people repeating themselves or slurring because they've had a few drinks. It's not fun to watch other people act that way. One of my biggest peeves now is when people say "oh it must be so fun to be sober and watch everyone act stupid and get drunk." No, it's not...not at all.
I let whoever think what they want ab my sobriety or how I chose to deal with it. They will be supportive if they truly understand. My boyfriend quit drinking for almost my entire first year because he knew that it would help me. I'm not saying you need to ask your husband to do that, I'm just saying people should understand if you aren't comfortable around it.
I let whoever think what they want ab my sobriety or how I chose to deal with it. They will be supportive if they truly understand. My boyfriend quit drinking for almost my entire first year because he knew that it would help me. I'm not saying you need to ask your husband to do that, I'm just saying people should understand if you aren't comfortable around it.
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It's not wimpy or snobby. I still can go to our little local bar, as it's a neighborhood place and all my friends are there. I just don't stay very long, not because I want to drink (although sometimes I do) but more because I'm bored with the whole scene. The jokes aren't funny if you're sober, it's a whole different thing. I can understand you wanting to stay home and just relax when you're doing well in your recovery. It's going to be an adjustment for your husband, but hopefully he'll come around and be supportive.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 25
Today is 59 days. Thanks for all the replies. We own the local bar, ironic . I'm cool at work I can do a 14 hour shift and I'm fine. Couple of u summed it up perfectly when ur soberi most drunk people are annoying as hell, especially after I waited on them all day. I still have that anxious feeling like I have to do something cuz I don't have my brown bottle blanket.
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