4MyBoys

Well, I just found out from my attorney today that I will have to go to trial starting Oct. 30th. This really will be a fight. I cannot believe with how ugly it is already it really have not even started.....

Anyway the point of this post is that my attorney said we would meet next week and start going over people to subpoenoa. This first person I thought of I had not spoken to for over 5 years. I was not sure if I could even reach him.

My husband had a best friend for years at his old police department. This was the last of what I think of his real friends and not drinking best friends. We did everything with him. He was at my husbands pinning at work, at our wedding, many many vacations. One night, when I was 9 months pregnant he was up visiting us and he and my husband went to the local bar. They got so trashed that I woke up to them fighting at the other end of the house. My STBXAH was so drunk he was hardly there in his head. But really angry. He beat his friend to a pulp. It was horrifying. I broke them apart and got my husband to bed. His friend stayed the night but left first thing in the morning to go home. He looked like he had gone all ten rounds with Mike Tyson. We never heard from him again. Even when my STBXAH tried to reach out when his friend was in the hospital hurt from a job injury. He was not interested. Nor do I blame him.

I texted him today to see if he still had the same number. He did not respond for quite some time. Then I got, "This is still my number" I have not cried so hard in a long time. I don't think I realized how much I missed him or that I felt so guilty for what happened. We are going to speak next week because he is out of town but really I am scared. Scared he won't want to help but more afraid he hates me because of what happened.

Has anyone else contacted someone like this in their lives and what happened?

4MyBoys

dollydo

I did when my husband died, his children were fighting the will. The witnesses (of the will) had been out of pocket for several years, I contacted them and they gladly came forward and tesitified in my behalf. Not exactly the same, however, I would be honest with him, see what he has to say. Don't obsess, it won't accomplish anything except make you crazy.

Court really isn't that bad, spent 20+ years there defending the company I worked for, nothing to be afraid of, your attorney will fend for you, that is what you are paying him to do.

4MyBoys

Thanks Dollydo. I just cannot believe how many scary things are coming up now. And I still have to deal with him because of the kids almost daily. Fun never ends....

TakingCharge999

(((hugs)))

MamaKit

4myboys,
I haven't had to reach out to anyone. But since we've been separated I have run into someone with whom my husband had a falling out. I thought he'd be cold but he was so caring. He said nothing bad about STBXAH but I got the real sense he completely understood why we were apart and he conveyed such kindness to me.
I would hug you if I could. Let's be strong for eachother.
I hope things go okay. You are in my thoughts.
Take good care of you,
Love,
MamaKit

4MyBoys

Thanks MamaKit. It is just weird dealing with all these things I never thought I would be dealing with in a million years.

BlueSkies1

He's a police officer and an alcoholic? Oh no...what a combo. I've known a few police officers that had way too big of egos and control issues, misplaced machismo. Not saying all police officers are like that, but I sure can see an alcoholic one being just like that.
4myboys...I quoted you several times lately, and have taken your words and made them my own..."to live a life I can be proud of". I have borrowed that line permanently. No, I will not pay royalties lol...except for citing my source.
It is now my mantra.
You do what you can within your power to live a life you can be proud of---and you will have done very well, no matter what outcome of all these things.
Thank-you for that...it gave me the missing link to myself.

4MyBoys

MadeofGlass, Glad I said something that helped someone! There are so many wonderful quotes on this site. I kept a mental pocketful of quotes from the board that really were the mantras I said to myself and helped me break away from all the madness. Someone posted a quote about, "That when you marry you don't sign up for a suicide pact" that and "Let go or get dragged" were the ones that got me through the roughest spots.

And yes, him being a police officer and a heavy drinker has been fun. All the power trip and the anger fueled by whiskey. He can't believe when everyone does not bend to his whims. He feels he is above the law and constantly bends them to fit him. He has a no drinking during visit clause in our temp custody orders. The boys (9 and 4) have to go see their attorney today to let her know he is still drinking and then driving to meet me during their visit. Yes, I have that added layer in our seperation that has taken everything to the next level.

4MyBoys