Notices

Is it inappropriate to mention the C word?

Old 09-27-2012, 11:59 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Hexipuff
Thread Starter
 
Hexipuff's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Kent UK
Posts: 375
Is it inappropriate to mention the C word?

Well it is only 89 days to Christmas.
The supermarkets in the UK are already stocking (ha ha) Christmas cakes, puddings, chocolate, mince pies etc

It also is only 63 days until Thanksgiving

I have already started thinking about the festivities and all the boozy food and lakes of alcohol that will be about

I need to make things like mince pies and puddings - minus the alcohol this year I guess

Any tips on the run up to the this types of holidays? How to cook everything with out using alcohol?
How to survive with a houseful of drinkers?

I know it's early to be thinking this but I like to be prepared

Thanks
Hexipuff is offline  
Old 09-27-2012, 12:08 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 249
Sounds like you and I are in the same boat today, H. Fearful of what might come when we're tempted. I suppose the answer is "know thyself." If you're going to be tempted, figure out what you need to do to resist. Do others around you know you're abstaining? That might help, to make that known. Despite that, you'll still be tempted. It comes to a matter of doing what you know is best for yourself and sticking to that. Easier said than done, I know, but it's the truth and the only way. I wish I had more to offer than encouragement but that's about all I've got for you right now. I'm here today seeking the same. Best to you.
andisa is offline  
Old 09-27-2012, 12:23 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
A Day at a Time
 
MIRecovery's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
During early sobriety I just did not go if it involved drinking. The world did not end when I missed some of the usual get together's. Friends and family are important but not as important as me staying sober

Now everyone knows my house is dry during the holidays because I will allow nothing to endanger my sobriety. My son got married this summer and I told him I would be at the reception until I felt uncomfortable and he was find with that.

If I go somewhere else I make sure I have a way out. I drive separately and always go with someone who knows I am in recovery. They can get me my diet coke or soda from the bar.

It is all about choices and preparation
MIRecovery is offline  
Old 09-27-2012, 12:27 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 802
Oh I've been thinking about it also, big trigger for me.
I guess if we thinking about it now, it gives us good time to papare a strong plan to stick by
seanie1888 is offline  
Old 09-27-2012, 12:34 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
A Day at a Time
 
MIRecovery's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
The definition of insanity is doing the same things and expecting different results. If certain holiday events are big triggers and you always got sloshed you have a choice to not go. You are not going to die if you do not go but you will likely die if you start drinking. The choice to me is pretty clear
MIRecovery is offline  
Old 09-27-2012, 12:40 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Surrey, UK
Posts: 522
It's never too early to plan Hexipuff. Have you thought about escaping on holiday somewhere very hot where mince pies and the such are unheard of ;>
Vall is offline  
Old 09-27-2012, 12:42 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
A Day at a Time
 
MIRecovery's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by Vall View Post
It's never too early to plan Hexipuff. Have you thought about escaping on holiday somewhere very hot where mince pies and the such are unheard of ;>
Great idea! If doing the same thing does not work do something different
MIRecovery is offline  
Old 09-27-2012, 12:58 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
I feel a sense of accomplishment and personal pride when I manage a milestone - birthday, wedding, christmas - without booze.

I feel proud of myself.
It's hard but I also know that for me it is never a few drinks, it's always too many.
To me that's not what special events are about - getting blackout drunk, arguing, spending the next day throwing up, sneaking more drink. It's about being with people I love and enjoying their company and excusing myself when thinks get rowdy.

My other half ritually drinks a bottle of eggnog every christmas eve - it's vile!!!
Sasha4 is offline  
Old 09-27-2012, 01:01 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Hexipuff
Thread Starter
 
Hexipuff's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Kent UK
Posts: 375
Thank you for all the advice

We will be with family at Christmas - we do not see them often and have been invited for the day. This is my husband's family. I would not want him to miss catching up with everyone and anyway I like to see my Mum in Law and Sisters in Law.

I will drive which will provide me with the excuse not to drink (they do not know about my alcoholism). That is the actual Christmas Day planned

The rest of the time I will as you have all said be aware of triggers. I think it will be a quiet one this year but you know that isn't all bad is it

I will miss mince pies though

Last edited by Hexipuff; 09-27-2012 at 01:04 PM. Reason: not finished
Hexipuff is offline  
Old 09-27-2012, 01:19 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
A Day at a Time
 
MIRecovery's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Hexipuff, What happens when everyone is drinking normally. The wine is flowing, the beer is cold, the Baileys smells so good, the Absolute is calling you and you are mad because you do not drink like other people, will "will power" be enough for 8 - 10 hours? This is the question only you can answer.
MIRecovery is offline  
Old 09-27-2012, 01:34 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
OneLessLonely's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,424
There is a great sticky at the top of one the forums about holidays- thanksgiving in particular if someone can post the link. I don't know if I can on my phone.
OneLessLonely is offline  
Old 09-27-2012, 02:58 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
This is pretty good...

Crying Out Now: Thanksgiving Survival Guide
Sapling is offline  
Old 09-27-2012, 03:21 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 507
I rarely cooked with booze so I can't help with that but I can definitely say that I don't think it's too early to start planning. I know I am. I'm sure you've all heard me tell a thousand times how much my partner's family drinks. So on Xmas day when we all go 75 miles away for the entire day, I have no real way out if needed. I have to think about that. It's a very meaningful decision NOT to go. I believe I'll need a pretty good lie. I hate that but it will be necessary. Last year around the holidays I did end up drinking. In secret, as usual. I didn't feel better, I didn't feel less stressed and I certainly didn't feel proud! So I need to plan how to make things different for myself.
Thanksgiving will most likely be at our house this year. Not to mention our Holloween party! I don't worry about the alcohol, I worry about the stress. And like Sasha said, the arguing. I can picture it already. At least when things are at my house I can hide more easily :-) Take a break before I explode or sneak a shot (which leads to shot after shot after shot after shot). I can excuse myself and walk the dogs, call my own family, call friends, start clean-up early, etc... At the end of that day, we'll give all the open booze to people on their way out. I know this disappoints my partner sometimes because people bring some good stuff! But it's just booze. If you ask her what she'd rather have, a drunk partner on Thanksgiving night or an empty liquor cabinet, I don't think she'll think about that too long.
silly is offline  
Old 09-27-2012, 03:23 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 507
Originally Posted by MIRecovery View Post
Hexipuff, What happens when everyone is drinking normally. The wine is flowing, the beer is cold, the Baileys smells so good, the Absolute is calling you and you are mad because you do not drink like other people, will "will power" be enough for 8 - 10 hours? This is the question only you can answer.
And for a lot of us, we have no choice but to stay sober because it's expected, right? But that 8-10 hours is just a trigger to either sneak away or drink the next day/week/weekend.
silly is offline  
Old 09-27-2012, 03:28 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
DarkDays's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: London
Posts: 1,384
Iam Looking forward more than anything doing this whole Xmas period sober, never ever in my last 30 years has this happened, that in itself will be the biggest gift for me .

Bit cliché type of thing to say, but true.
DarkDays is offline  
Old 09-27-2012, 03:35 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Scotland
Posts: 473
No,no,no I can't stand Christmas and everything that goes with it.
Rossy is offline  
Old 09-28-2012, 05:50 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
A Day at a Time
 
MIRecovery's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
I had a wake up call in early sobriety about how powerful alcohol is and it scared the crap out of me.

I was 3 month sober and was invited to this really high end Halloween party at a multi-million dollar mansion. I did all the right things. I drove separately and had people who knew I was in recovery go with me. I was there for a little over an hour and I started getting short of breath and shaking. I felt like I was going to explode. I was having a panic attack. I have never had a panic attack before or since but I had one that night. Thank God I had a way out. I flew out the door said good bye to no one and huddled in my car until I felt OK to drive.

It was then I had some idea of what a hold Alcohol still had on me so if I am a bit of a hard a$$ on not going to alcohol events it is for good reason.
MIRecovery is offline  
Old 09-28-2012, 10:45 AM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Hexipuff
Thread Starter
 
Hexipuff's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Kent UK
Posts: 375
Again thank you for the link and for your thoughts.

I love Christmas and all the run up and I think this year will be special as I WILL be sober
as Dark Days says it will be extra special this year.

The advice on here is brilliant as always and my mind is working through the comments you have posted. I will be positive about this. I know I have Christmas Day sorted. With support from my husband, my sponsor, my meetings and SR the run up to the big day will be fine.
Hexipuff is offline  
Old 09-28-2012, 11:10 AM
  # 19 (permalink)  
A Day at a Time
 
MIRecovery's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Hexipuff, Now that sounds like a plan instead of I hope I do not drink
MIRecovery is offline  
Old 09-28-2012, 11:17 AM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 174
I am really going to miss Baileys over Ice.. my favourite drink at Christmas !

I am going to be the designated driver I think! All Christmas! And am just thinking how slim and beautiful I will look in my little black dress... plus I wont be falling over and staggering into things, or ruining my pretty shoes, losing my bag, dropping my phone etc!
Sugarfix is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:25 AM.