Beautifulsoul

I don't know why I'm writing or what to say...I have been dealing with everything okay for the most part but today I had a talk with my brother that left me feeling so bad...he has cut down the amount of pills he takes to a point where he doesn't get high (he is taking them as prescribed now) But he still isn't happy. If anything he is telling me how much he is suffering and saying "Are you guys HAPPY now? That I am not taking pills but SUFFERING?"...I just want everything to be okay!

Vall

Dear Beautifulsoul,

I'm afraid that I don't know your story so I can only offer you compassion and a virtual hug right now...and also say that nobody is responsible for someone elses addiction.

Try and let those words that hurt you so much go right over your head - blow them away each time they come at you. You have done nothing wrong.

Best wishes and I am sure that someone else on here has some thoughts on this toox

PrayingMama

I'm so sorry, Beatifulsoul. I don't know your story either, so can't offer much other than to say that anyone who deals with addiction in the family needs a great deal of support and compassion. Naranon, Alanon and Families Anonymous are wonderful meetings to attend if you haven't gone to any of those.

Maybe sharing more of the back story will help others help you.

Blessings.

liv1ce

I agree with all that has been said but will add that what you were told is standard addict manipulation. Take it from one - addict that is.

Katiekate

How terribly painful to have to listen too.

Please keep posting, Katie xo

dollydo

He is just doing what addicts do...manipulate others, his behavior works well on codependents, we are their mainstay.

I have a brother who I love, he is not an addict, however, I do not always understand his choices, yet they are his to deal with, not my business, not my problem.

I do not circulate my life around his, his is his to live....mine is mine to live....where are you in your life? Why are you so emeshed in his? What is your life like, what do you do for you? Basically...who are you?

suki44883

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad, beautifulsoul, but you have to stop feeling responsible for your brother's happiness. None of it is your fault, but he does what addicts do, which is to make others feel guilty for their lot in life. Sorry, but that's just bogus. If he wants to get better, he knows what to do.

SundaysChild

One of the things I'm working on is not to "react." I have a tendency to get sucked into feeling other people's feelings - which is part of the disease of codependency. If my AB or RAS are struggling - it's their struggle. I can sympathize- but my feelings should reflect what's going on in my life, not their's. If my husband has a fight with his boss - those are HIS feelings, not mine. It's a difficult lesson to learn...but it's the path to serenity.