fallingtogether

Supposed to be a quiet day, kids with grandma husband out trimming trees. Well kids came home early so my lunch date got cut short ( me and a dear friend catching up), husband here and kids are driving me up a freaking wall. I mean seriously...... I have been short and snappy and on the verge of tears for a couple of hours. I know a drink won't make this better, so I am asking what will?

Sapling

I'd try that prayer you got for a signature...Saved me many times early on.

fallingtogether

Ok, I'll take that, but I'm not sure here what I can and can't change

mecanix

I found long cool showers theraputic . Also a chance to lock the bathroom door and have some quite time.

Bestwishes, M

Sapling

Then just pray for the wisdom to know the difference....It's about faith....Trust in God. I don't know if you are one of these people that are dead set against AA or not....But another thing that helped me early on was being around people doing the same thing I wanted to do...So I found relief in going to meetings...I could share things with people like me....Now these people are my friends....I enjoy going to meetings...They are like medicine for me....I haven't had to have a drink in 14 months....So I guess it works....If that's not for you...That's fine....But I would find something that is....Because sitting there building up resentments would be fatal for me. I had to work on recovery....Or die....Those were my choices.

fallingtogether

I'm taking a hot bath. Yes I have a long list of resentments, but I can't work on those til I get to that step right? I haven't foun a sponsor worth a crap in the past and quite honestly I don't know I want to find one. My day was fine til I told my unsupportive dh(d doesn't mean dear today) that I was going to a meeting tonight. He won't support me. As soon as I stop drinking for a few days, he creates more obstacles. Intentionally. My kids are over exhausted from a long weekend and treating me like I shoul give them whatever they want. It's honestly days like thi where I woul rather drink than fight. I know that's an unhealthy perspective, and I will try not to drink and I will pray and maybe I will still go to that meeting. **crying in the bathtub at this moment**

least

I can only change how I react to things. It took me a long time to learn that...

Sapling

I would pray and go to that meeting....I'm not sure what a sponsor worth a crap means....For myself....I wanted to work the steps because I knew that was the solution to my problem...So I took the approach of asking someone...Can you help me get through these steps as done in the book....Then I had to do the work....And I got the help I needed. This is easier when you want it to work.

Anna

Chardonnay, please know that you can always find support here and we do understand how hard this is.

As Least said, you can control your reaction to things, so stay strong and know that you can get through this.

alienbrayn1

don't do it, you will regret it after the first sip!

Sapling

You can change how you react to things....I'm not sure how I would react to this...This might be a situation I had to change. This is life and death for me....I'm not sure I could put up with that.

Taking5

You can do this. Like Sapling, the "sponsor worth a crap" comment rings a little hollow with me. You aren't looking for a BFF, just someone to take you through the steps. Find someone with good sobriety that you admire, and just ask them. If you really can't find someone like this it might be time to check out a few different meetings.

Good luck and keep us posted.

fallingtogether

Thanks all. I'm better now. I'll get into the sponsor thing later..... Let's just say that this is a small town, with small minds. I know the program is the same everywhere and should be followed by no judgement.... And I am not saying this because I didn't like what she or "they" had to say, but there was no guidance into the program, I attended 6 meetings in 6 days, got a sponsor and no homework. I asked for it, she didn't give it to me, I drank , she hung up on me. In my town there are 4 meetings a day. Same people at all meetings. Kinda hard to look for someone better fitting, don't get much of a variety, that's why I am thanking god these two ladies I talked about earlier have basically revealed to me why they are in my life..... Because they were placed there. I'm angry, resentful and not so cautious. I have wanted to sleep since 12:00 noon. No nap equals an un happy momma. Things will fall into place, yes with my effort, will make morning meeting tomorrow, so dh doesn't have to be put out or appreciate my absence. I tried talking to him tonight. Not one of u would appreciate what he said...... On that note, good night

fallingtogether

Oh, and the sponsor issues were over the. Ourselves of a month, not just a week

Pondlady

Chardonnay,
Get s good night's sleep. Tomorrow is a new day. Parenting is hard work, harder yet, when trying to find some time for yourself.

fallingtogether

Sorry I'm on my iPad and autocorrect sucks.... If you want a good laugh, check out dam autocorrect.com anyways, it was supposed to read " the issues were over the course of a month"

Thank you pond lady

Pondlady

Can't stand my auto correct on my phone....drives me nuts Sweet dreams to you.

NoFireWater

Chardonnay, you're exhausted, you're deprived of privacy or personal space, and you're quitting drinking with no support all at once. Of course you're fed up and cranky. I think anyone would be. I think you've got to set some boundaries with your family (maybe a time each day where EVERYONE gets their own space and gets to decide themselves what to do with that time). No idea what to do about a husband that isn't supportive about your efforts to quit-that's going to have to change and if he's not willing to that's a problem.

I don't do AA, but I do know that focusing on resentments can be toxic and build anxiety, hopelessness, and anger. Maybe you need to focus on the good things you do have. Many people would love to have a healthy family that is together. Many people have too much space with no one in it.

There are online meetings from what I read, maybe that would be a better plan for you...

choublak

Do you have maybe a relative or someone who could watch the kids sometimes when you want time for yourself?

fallingtogether

Thanks fire.... U get it!!!! Chou, I do, but I feel guilty and I don't want to use up allmy passes to get through this hump. One day at a time, one minute if need be. I have a total full plate. I'll post that tomorrow, so please read and share with me. Thank u all, I don't know where I would be without u, but i know where I a, right now.