FancyFace

A wonderful man has kept in contact with me from my conception to this site. He's encouraged me, inspired me and believed in me. No questions asked (other than if I was okay)

This man has been in my thoughts, back of my brain and even my evil Satan voice. Has it helped? Yes. Has it cured me? No. Do I still drink? Yes! I can not/will not lie.

Please see my email below:

I'm sorry. You've been so kind to check on me and I have not returned the mail. I guess I kind of felt like a hypocrite for coming here while I was still drinking so I stopped coming.

I'm still drinking twice a week, can't seem to break free. I have been doing some major soul searching and looking at my life trying to get a grip on what keeps drawing me in. I've found myself making excuses, "I'm not like the others, I only drink at home and I don't get violent and i have a good job and I'm well educated etc etc etc"

I responded to an ad recently about a disabled man needing help, he wanted a computer as he couldn't afford one on his disability cheque, I felt the need to give, so I delivered one to him, full set up with flat screen monitor and all cables etc. it felt good. It made me see that the simple things in life that we take for granted do not go unnoticed by all. He only wanted to be able to keep in touch with family on Facebook. It hit home in a big way. Not enough to make me quit drinking but it sure made me see that I have so much to be thankful for and I wonder why I'm allowing myself to remain a prisoner?

This man is confined to a wheelchair, in an assisted living facility, no privacy, no extras (unless he provides them himself) he was happy to get a new computer to be in touch with the outside world. I'm getting closer to cutting ties with the outside world if I keep it up. How can a bright girl not realize that?

Common sense! I was lucky to be born with common sense yet I abuse that gift by constantly testing it. One cannot learn common sense, you either have it or you don't.

So, this has been my dilemma as of late, please forgive my lack of contact, I simply could not be phoney and in all honesty, I came here to be sober....and I'm not.

Sapling

Then why don't you get sober?...Commit yourself to something and do it...It sounds like that's what you want.

FancyFace

Thank you for your opinion Sapling. I'm sure you can appreciate my situation. I wanted to share, to show the HUGE support even newcomers get, of which I've been blessed with. Unconditionally and most importantly, NON-JUDGEMTAL!

FancyFace

P.S. I'm working on it! Please don't judge me!

Sapling

I think you can do this...For myself it was as simple as committing myself to doing 90 AA meetings in 90 days....I went in wanting it to work and it did...What's 90 days?...When you've been drinking daily for 35 years.....14 months later....I haven't had a drink nor the desire to have one. Find something and committ to it...You can have anything you want.

Sapling

And I'll never judge you...I'm an alcoholic.

FancyFace

Congratulations! Unfortunately I'm not where you are & I simply wanted to show new comers they are not alone, we are going through the same struggles they are (myself included) but that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I am not a success story...yet but I hope to be one day. I'm simply sharing my story and acknowledging the support I've received.

Take what you can. Whatever works!

MemphisBlues

You are a success story.

You have acknowledged you have a problem, which is the first step in doing something about it.

There are other steps you can take. The best one is reaching out for help -- like you are doing here? -- and another is to try to find others like you who are struggling, and even others who fought the fight and beat their alcoholism.

I found both of the aboveb y going to AA.

If AA isn't your thing -- and, honestly, it's not anyone's thing! Who pours a drink and says to themselves, "Geesh, if I keep this up, I can join AA! -- just post here. SR has gotten many sober, successfully, while others have used AVRT, SMART, therapy, rehab, a host of alternatives.

But nothing will work if you just keep drinking and expect things to turn out different.

I couldn't do it on my own, and maybe you can't either?

sugarbear1

We will love you until you can love yourself.

Do some reading about alcoholism.

You can stay stopped, as soon as you stop picking up that first drink. So much easier said than done!

Love & hugs,

Dee74

I know I stuck myself in the mire because the alternative was very frightening to me.

I wish I'd know then what I know now - there is a better life - and it's marvellous....

But first, we need to take the leap.

I hope you'll decide to do that leap too FancyFace...

but don't stop coming here...the times when we feel the most lost are the times we most need to be at places like SR.

Most of the people here remember what it was like, I think - we understand and we will not judge

good to see you again
D