Wayne444

With a complete bonecrushing bender. May have lost my job. Almost lost my family. I was so ugly to everyone.. How can i feel better?

hypochondriac

So sorry to hear that Wayne. What were you doing before to stay sober? Try not to feel guilty. You can pick yourself up and move on from this. You may just want to add something to your recovery x

TorontoGuy28

Hi Wayne-

Did you ever enter rehab ?

I do not know your history, but there is a lot more to sobriety than just not taking that first drink.... Were you attending regular AA or SMART meetings ? Did you give up on the idea that you can drink like a normal person someday ? You need to admit and accept powerlessness over alcohol...... I too stayed in the vicious cycle until finally I was just tired of being sick and tired...

Good news is that life does get much better, and that you DO NOT have to drink again !

all the best man

2granddaughters

I went to AA. Might just be the ticket for you as well.

All the best.

Bob R

bloss

Keep posting on SR and reading posts, don't drink today. Check out some meetings. There are all kinds, look at the forums here on SR for more information. Most of all take care of yourself...

Lost3000

I wonder if sometimes people who relapse haven't gotten over the fact that they can't drink again - they are holding onto the hope that maybe someday...Was that you?

I'm sorry you have to go thru this.

Also, I went to AA - that's how I got to feeling much better.

zorah

oh man do i know how you feel. it's hurting/neglecting those I love that got me to seek help. instead of this being a screw-up, maybe it's your bottom. clearly you care about the effect of your drinking on others. deep inside, you are a good person; otherwise you wouldn't write the post you did. i know addicts who will not admit the harm they're creating and don't care. there is fundamental goodness in you. hold onto that and ask for anyone, anything (program, higher power, spiritual practice, counseling service etc.) that can help you. there are choices out there.

peace,


zorah

NewHouse2012

I'm so sorry to hear this. Just please try getting back on track. Time will heal and sobriety will help process the pain. It's not easy but please hold on and know we are here for you.

Jeni26

Oh I'm really sorry to hear that, you must be hurting.
When you look back, can you pinpoint what led up to your relapse. Did your thinking change?
Wishing you well x

CaiHong

Wayne,
Sorry to hear about your relapse. A program is so important to stay stopped.
A real positive is that you came on SR and told everyone what is going on, that shows honesty and an admission that you do have a problem with alcohol and that I hope now you realize that you can never drink.

All the best
Love CaiHong

Anna

Wayne, I'm sorry this happened and I think you might feel better by figuring out what happened and making sure it won't happen again. I'm glad you're back.

tomsteve

1st, make a decision that you will do whatever you have to do to stop drinking.

Dee74

I'm sorry to hear that too Wayne, but I'm glad you found your way back here.
you'll find a lot of support and ideas on what to do next

Are you thinking about face to face support now?

D

Wayne444

Yes, you are right. my wife and I told each other that we and I could have wine occassionally after the 6 months. The 3rd time we got in an ugly fight and she left for 10 days. I drank extremly heavily every day and night. She has come back so that is good and I'm working on keeping my jobs with series of lies. I hate it and I am a panicy kind of person so not knowing what is going to happen has me in agony. I don't know what it is about me that I can't handle it but obviously I can't. And I also don't know why in the last years I been such an ass when I am drunk. I'm a really nice hard working guy and used to be a happy person when drinking. It feels good just admiting that I also saying I have a drinking problem, which I didn't really do last time. I'm sure that was part of the problem. Now I have to go thru this misery of getting out of the anxious stage again.

Thanks so much for this and all your response. They have helped me a bit better

Wayne444

I have resisted group meetings but have been having one on one counseling each week. and really that got to be just advice on getting along with my wife.

thanks so much

Wayne444

thanks so much. Just having people know how it hurts is a little comforting. My thinking because after having gained so much confidence i was cocky enough to think I can handle it.

soulgypsy

Breathe. Don't drink tonight. Breathe tomorrow. Don't drink tomorrow. Breathe again.

I have struggled recently too. Sometimes I think all we can do is the above, over and over. It is ok. We will heal and we will move through this.

I wish you peace tonight.

willquit

Pick yourself up. You have done great, move on. You can do this...

Lost3000

Sorry, a little late here. About 3-4 yrs ago, my DH (husband) and I got into a MAJOR fight. An all-nighter. The next day, I told him, I'm quitting, I have a problem. He supported me. Removed all the booze from the house. I went to 1 AA mtg - I ran out of there not giving it a chance at all. I stayed stopped for a couple of months.

My DH told me, you know, you aren't an alkie, you just need to cut back. I bought into that hook, line and sinker. So we set a date for me to drink again - our vacation to Mexico. When we got to Mexico, I didn't run straight to the bar. I really didn't want to or need to drink. But I had convinced myself I wasn't a drunk, I had taken my hiatus and could drink again.

The week in Mexico was a blur, and slowly but eventually I drank myself right back to where I was. Fights were just as bad with my DH. I began to worry about him leaving me.

I had a few moments of clarity. I wrote about this time a lot in my journal. Then, last year, I decided I needed to quit. For good. I told my husband (again) I needed help. He (again) removed booze from the house. This time around, I dove into AA. Head first. I joined a book club. I was determined to not drink again. I know now I'm an alcoholic. And that's ok, I'm fine with it. Because life is so much better on this side.

So many things other than the relationship with my DH got better. My resentments, my depression, my self-esteem. I just completed 7 months of sobriety and am looking forward to 7 more.

I wish you the best, and hope that my story might help you in some way.

seanie1888

Wayne I know how you feel man, I blew 4 months 2 months ago, my longest time ever.

I went back drinking for a month, easy at start but month ended in ten day rip.

Dude we just have to face facts we can't handle or control it so not even 1 has to be way forward, I'm coming back on 4 weeks sober again and feeling much stronger this time.

I hope you feel better about soon and you can get back on straight and narrow.

All the best

Sean