Jur123

My sister is so different from what she was before all this mess started 10 years ago. She used to be such a sweet person and one of my best friends. Now she is cold as ice, arrogant and emotionless. I still love her, however I have noticed that my feelings have changed to "love-hate" relationship. Can anybody relate?

nerdygirl

Oh yeah, I can definitely relate. My emotional range would change minute to minute with my RAH. One second I loved him and wanted to smother him with kisses and love, then he'd pass out from yet another 30mg percocet and I had images of impaling his skull with a claw hammer. It happens and seems pretty normal to me :rotfxko

Kindeyes

Absolutely. I had a great conversation with a recovering addict last week. He was a nice young man. He described himself as having two entities residing in the vessel of his body. The addict and the true "him". Those two entities are in a battle for control. That made perfect sense to me.

I love my son. I don't like the addict at all. And they both reside in the same body. When the addict is in control, I don't want to have anything to do with him and I don't feel guilty about that anymore. The addict has caused havoc around him. He is selfish. He is a liar and a thief. When my son is fighting for control, I see the beautiful light of who he is trying to shine past the addict.

Perhaps this is the love/hate thing you are feeling. I think it's perfectly understandable.

gentle hugs
ke

crazybabie

Yes, I can definitively relate when it come to my oldest AS I am currently not sure where my feelings stand as he has been in prison for a little over a year yet in the past there was love/hate.

My middle AS, so far there has been no hate but he lives out of town now he text me more than he calls and we stay off the subject of use.

My AH yes I defiantly have a huge love/hate for him right now.
Odd how I find myself in different stages with each addict.

zoso77

Yeah. My AXGF was as sweet as could be...when she was higher than a kite. Take away the opiates, and what's left is an emotional orangutan with Borderline Personality Disorder. Cruel, callous, manipulative, and completely without any self awareness or remorse about anything. Thankfully, she's gone.

I suspect you don't necessarily hate your sister. You hate her behavior and the pain it causes you and those around her. She's sick, and until she decides to embrace recovery, what you describe will not be the exception. It will be the norm. So, you can't change her, but you can change how you react to her behavior. It takes acceptance, and it takes a lot of work. But you can do it.

Best,
ZoSo

EJG123

Probably most people on this forum have mixed feelings about the addicts in their lives. I think it is a pretty normal response to having a loved one act so destructively.