Jur123

I'm not sure how to "let go". My sister is addicted to prescribtion drugs (tranqualizers) and alcohol. She says she desperately needs prescribtion drugs as she suffers from social phobia. However her doses are HUGE. I have a feeling that she is either getting her prescribtions by giving false information or found some dodgy doctor as I don't think any doctor in their sound mind would prescribe such doses. She also drinks (roughly 2 times a week to the point where she can hardly walk). Recently she started missing work and her fiance says he is thinking of splitting up as he is fed up with her drinking. I share a rented house with her and it breaks my heart. I did many things that a codependant person does from talking to her, trying to persuade her to get help to offering to pay for a psychologist to tackle her underlying social phobia. Nothing works. Our house is a constant battlefield (it's been going for roughly 2 years now). I don't have any personal life and all I can think is her. I grew up being codependant. My mother was abusing prescribtion drugs and I was always expected to "help" her or I would be branded as a "horrible person".
My question is how to "let go"? I know I have to move out as it's not healthy to share a house with her, however it breaks my heart even to think about that. What shoud I say to her? Should I keep in contact or should I tell her that I'll talk to her only if she agrees to see a psichologist? I'm afraid that if I move out I'll start to feel very quilty for not helping her and blame myself if something happens to her.
Sorry for a long post.

tomsteve

LETTING GO TAKES LOVE
To let go does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable,
but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means
the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
it's to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.
To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective,
it's to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny,
but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

welcome to the forum. i am sure you will get a lot of support here.

Jur123

Thank you Tomsteve

FindingErica

Welcome to the forum! Feeling this need to continue to help an addict is codependency. Keep reading around here. I spent too many years putting up with my Addict sister's garbage because I was so afraid she would come to some horrible fate. But 10 years into her 20 year addiction I finally said enough, no more help. She is still an addict today. The only reason I have had any contact with her over the past 4 years, was to attempt to gain custody of her son who was in foster care from birth. Even that proved to be a futile venture as are all efforts surrounding her in any way.

Keep reading, read the stickies at the top of the page especially the stuff about codependency.

BeavsDad

Detach with love.

"I am moving out to protect my own health and sanity."

"I love you and I wish you'd get the help you need, but I will not feel guilty for your poor choices any longer."

"I will not be around you at all when you are impared."