Sunshine19

I signed up on this site on July 12 but I still have not quit. I just came back from the beach this past Sunday. We were there for 3 nights. Guess what we did every night and day? Drank. We didn't do any of the things we wanted to do while we were there. Did not shop, play mini golf, ride the rides, or eat all you can eat crabs. This was all because we spent every night and most of the days (after we felt ok) drinking. I woke up on Sunday feeling AWFUL and not able to fully remember the previous night. I was sick all day Sunday and all day Monday. It is now Tuesday and I am still feeling lazy. These hangovers are lasting 3 days and I haven't gotten anything done. I haven't missed work or anything but there are many things I need to be doing with my time! I am not drinking today, that is my goal. However, tomorrow and the next day and the next day are going to be the hard part. Every time after a binge I feel so depressed and awful that I am motivated to quit for good. However, after a few days off its like that depression never happened. How do you make yourself remember how bad those days felt so you don't pick up a drink again? This is my problem at this point and don't know how to stop.

sugarbear1

Not sure where you are in Maryland, but Montgomery County has a free rehab. I'd start with a detox. See a doctor or go to the ER and get help, they can't turn you down. Once you are detoxed, maybe get to rehab. Call every day. Private message me if you want.

You can stay stopped, but the stopping is needed first. I use AA, there are many meetings available. There are other programs.

Call your doctor.

I wish you well.

Love & hugs,

duane1

I see the word "WE". What were the intentions of the other people you were with for the weekend? If you knew these people well enough, wouldn't you have seen this coming?

SlimSlim

Sunshine:

I just posted a thread "Taking Baby Steps". I'm in a similar position to you, but there is urgency in the necessity for me to stop drinking as it has caused brain damage.

Desire is one thing, but nothing will happen until you pair it with action. Others will probably chime in on this.

Action or steps that you can take:

Call your doctor.
Go to detox if necessary.
Rid your home of booze.
Tell your friends that you are quitting drinking.
Develop and use a support system, more than one if possible.
Read up, whether it be AA books or something else
Hook up with a therapist
Attend meetings
And?????

Anna

Sunshine, I do think it's about choices.

You chose to go to the beach with your friends and you likely expected there would be a lot of drinking going on. I know I tried to be around people with alcohol and I could not do it for a very long time. So, my life changed and my activities changed and my friends changed.

So, if tomorrow and the day after will be the hard part, what changes can you make so you get through those days? Are you seeing people who will be drinking? Can you drive home via a different route avoiding liquor stores? Can you shop in stores that don't sell alcohol? Whatever it takes to get through those days will be so worth it.

It might be helpful to keep a journal and to look back at it to remember how you felt when drinking or to come here and read old posts.

Notmyrealname

Keep a journal everyday, write in it when you're drunk, write in it when you're hung over, write in it consistently.

Then, one Sunday, sit down and read it. You can see what your life looks like over a month. Make decisions based on the trends you see there.

My daily drinking usually wasn't "over the line" (except for being daily, of course) but most weeks had at least one low spot, and ne'er a month went by that didn't have something particularly screwed up in it.

I don't write in a journal regularly anymore, maybe I will start again but with a focus on being not drunk, see how the trends balance out over the month. And then I could make a thread here and just post monthly updates, run it for a year or so, that'd be kind of interesting . . hmmm.

2granddaughters

I attend AA meetings regularly to be reminded.

All the best to you.

Bob R

MrsKing

Me actually quitting alcohol took a long time. Even the last time I made the decision to stop drinking I didn't actually really know what I was doing and thought I'd probably be OK to drink again at some point in the future. After I'd been sober for a good period of time I realised that I would never be able to drink again and now I fully accept that and am VERY happy with my decision. I think it needs to be an urgent desire and you have to want it sincerely more than can be put into words. You can do it, though. There are many programmes you can follow and there is lots of help available if you want it.

Like has already been said - perhaps it's best to stay away from drinking buddies for the time being? Temptation is absolutely everywhere but you can make it a little easier for yourself and choose activities that do not involve drinking at all.

I hope you're able to get sober soon. You don't have to remember the bad times to be sober - you'll have enough amazing times up ahead to understand that sobriety is a wonderful way to live.

Sunshine19

Thank you to everyone. I really like the journal idea. It is easy to say for me to stay away from people who drink, however, this is a lot of my friends. Even my good old friends from high school, so it's not like I only ever drink with them. We do other things too but still find the time to go out. I live with one of my best friends and my boyfriend, who both drink. On the bright side, I just had a talk with my boyfriend and we have decided to try a month detox. I know this will be day by day but I think this is a good start. It will also be very helpful if he is doing it too. He is the same kind of drinker as I am and we have had several conversations about trying to stop for a period of time, but something always " comes up" that involves drinking. So, hopefully this will be the start to a great month and a great journey where I can find happiness outside of drinking. So today is day 2 and counting...

BadCandy

Sunshine19,

The support here is amazing and extremely helpful. And almost seems overwhelming. You have the right idea, just get through today, don't worry about tomorrow or the next day. They'll come regardless of worry. Good luck and hope to see your posts again

BadCandy

IndaMiricale

The meetings always remind me of what it was like, and coming and reading right here are great reminders of how it does not get better out there.

imaquitter

Not to be overly negative but I really don't see your drinking ending anytime in the near future with this whole mindset and situation. Are you going to do it for yourself when your boyfriend says "It's ON!"

It's a binary equation. Either you are a drinker or non-drinker.

or

"Do, or do not. There is no try."

--YODA

hypochondriac

Think the drink through.

Actively remember your last drunk, and follow it through to how it makes you feel even days down the line. Write a script if it helps.

Making the decision not to drink anymore and sticking to it was the hard part for me though and for that AVRT was essential. If you haven't already looked into it, google the crash course online and see if it helps. I couldn't get past day one for years and that really helped me get over that first hurdle.

Like Anna said, I had to change my routine a bit too. If day three is a danger zone, don't go out with friends who drink that day. I did stuff like arranging to meet my friends during the day for coffee instead.

Sunshine19

Imaquitter: I'm not sure what you are suggesting I do differently about my situation? I can't move out of my living situation and I am not breaking up with my boyfriend. I have his support (ie. doing this with me), which I told him I did not at all expect but he said he wanted to as well. I would have done this either way. So I'm a bit confused...

tomsteve

i am glad to see you see you have a problem and want to quit and glad yer boyfriend is supportive.
my experience says that when i used the thinking and support of others a s sick as me i stayed as sick as i was and drank. i had to change me and my thinking, but had to have the thinking of people who had recovered from the hopeless state of mind i was in. i was desperate. the pain of getting drunk exceeded the pain of reality and i was willing to do whatever was necessary to stop drinking and get sober. i went ot AA. been workin great so far. them folks there knew exactly what was gon on in my mellon and also had the solution. they taught me alcohol was but a symptom of a much deeper problem and also had the solution for that,too.

Dee74

People change their lives all the time Sunshine...look around at some success stories here.

Try to remember it's your own journey tho - it will be great if your bf decides to embark on a similar change, but beware of making your recovery dependent on his or vice versa...

sometimes it can be great to have the support and shared goal, but if (god forbid) one partner slips it's often easy for them to drag the other down to

That's what (I think) Imaquitter was trying to get at?

I don't believe there's any need for pessimism tho

It will take hard work, it will take self sacrifice and it will involve some pretty big changes - but I believe you can do it .




D