Where is that switch ??
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: wales
Posts: 27
Where is that switch ??
I find myself here again.
What is it going to take for me to quit?
Please don't mention any of my past post, been sat here for two hours reading them over and over again and feeling very desperate
What is it going to take for me to quit?
Please don't mention any of my past post, been sat here for two hours reading them over and over again and feeling very desperate
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi lostdotty 
I think the key is to try more and more ways of recovery - if something hasn't worked - try something else...if you've been trying to do this yourself, maybe it's time to involve other people?
Sometimes we need to go outside our comfort zone - but it's worth it.
D
I think the key is to try more and more ways of recovery - if something hasn't worked - try something else...if you've been trying to do this yourself, maybe it's time to involve other people?
Sometimes we need to go outside our comfort zone - but it's worth it.
D
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
try silkworth.net and listen to the book Alcoholics Anonymous or read it there.
xa-speakers.org, listen to someone's story.
When you are really ready, you can stay stopped, I know you can!!! Stay strong!! maybe just tomorrow, don't drink. Just tomorrow. then maybe try again the next day?
Love,
xa-speakers.org, listen to someone's story.
When you are really ready, you can stay stopped, I know you can!!! Stay strong!! maybe just tomorrow, don't drink. Just tomorrow. then maybe try again the next day?
Love,
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
What is it going to take for me to quit?
Welcome back - this can be a new beginning!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Yes...i do remember that sense of desperationdepression
and I never want to go back there again....
I did have false starts before I found my solution please keep
working to find yours....
Welcome back ..
and I never want to go back there again....
I did have false starts before I found my solution please keep
working to find yours....
Welcome back ..
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
I think I reached that point when I knew I NEVER wanted to feel that desperation in relapsing again.
I am doing anything I can to prevent it from happening to me.
Staying glued to SR, attending AA and doing what they suggest, distancing myself as best I can from potential triggers, changing my routines.
These are all working for me.
I don't think there is a 'switch'. I think it involves a lot more than that. But, plenty of support here for a start.
Go for it xxx
I am doing anything I can to prevent it from happening to me.
Staying glued to SR, attending AA and doing what they suggest, distancing myself as best I can from potential triggers, changing my routines.
These are all working for me.
I don't think there is a 'switch'. I think it involves a lot more than that. But, plenty of support here for a start.
Go for it xxx
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
For me the sense of struggle and torment was the worst aspect. There is a way out but it is uncomfortable and you have to make the first move.
I wish I had the courage years ago. Freedom is possible.
I wish I had the courage years ago. Freedom is possible.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
I've been wondering where you were LostDotty...welcome back xxx
Don't try to wait for a switch. There isn't one. I was hoping I would wake up one day and miraculously not want to drink any more and not have any doubts about my decision. It never happened.
When I finally did stop drinking it was very flat feeling. It felt like I had to pry the drink from my hands and then work really hard doing whatever needed to be done to not pick it up again.
I am not sure I could have got through those first few weeks/months if it weren't for what I learnt from Rational Recovery and the continuing support here at SR. I was pretty much glued to my computer.
Don't feel bad for falling down, it happens to all of us. Sobriety takes practice.
Have you got any other support? Did you ever go to AA or talk to your doctor about quitting?
xxxDon't try to wait for a switch. There isn't one. I was hoping I would wake up one day and miraculously not want to drink any more and not have any doubts about my decision. It never happened.
When I finally did stop drinking it was very flat feeling. It felt like I had to pry the drink from my hands and then work really hard doing whatever needed to be done to not pick it up again.
I am not sure I could have got through those first few weeks/months if it weren't for what I learnt from Rational Recovery and the continuing support here at SR. I was pretty much glued to my computer.
Don't feel bad for falling down, it happens to all of us. Sobriety takes practice.
Have you got any other support? Did you ever go to AA or talk to your doctor about quitting?
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: London, England
Posts: 724
A switch? The only one I know about is the one in my head that stops me listening to anything other than the AV. Dunno where it is, dunno what presses it. But I know when it's been pushed...
I also know that I can't quit on my own. Finding that out was nearly enough to make me give in and carry on drinking. But, with help, the help of AA and this place, I can (mostly) not pick up that first drink. One day at a time.
I know 'mostly' sounds negative, but sometimes, not very often but it does, it hits me like... something very fast, very sudden, and very strong. There's no time to think properly. At least, looking back, there can't have been.
But most of the time, that feeling of wanting to drink passes. I post here. I phone people. And it goes away.
Do you have a plan for what to do next?
I also know that I can't quit on my own. Finding that out was nearly enough to make me give in and carry on drinking. But, with help, the help of AA and this place, I can (mostly) not pick up that first drink. One day at a time.
I know 'mostly' sounds negative, but sometimes, not very often but it does, it hits me like... something very fast, very sudden, and very strong. There's no time to think properly. At least, looking back, there can't have been.
But most of the time, that feeling of wanting to drink passes. I post here. I phone people. And it goes away.
Do you have a plan for what to do next?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: wales
Posts: 27
No Plan as such. It's going to be a long day and I can't wait to go to bed.
Just need to get through today and not have a drink this evening when my husband returns from work and asks if I'm going to the shop. The past 12 months he has not been prepared to accept I have a problem with Alcohol. He tells me straight he will never quit and I think he is worried, as am I, if I don't drink how it will effect our realationship.
Just need to get through today and not have a drink this evening when my husband returns from work and asks if I'm going to the shop. The past 12 months he has not been prepared to accept I have a problem with Alcohol. He tells me straight he will never quit and I think he is worried, as am I, if I don't drink how it will effect our realationship.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Eh? :)
Posts: 1,410
As you can see from the number of my posts, I've had way too many start/stops!! I'm currently on day four. I think it's Dee that has asked me before, "What are you going to do differently this time?"...and this time one of the things I'm doing differently is listening to that question. This time I'm throwing myself into AA. What I was doing before clearly wasn't working. We can do this!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: London, England
Posts: 724
dancinggirl - congrats on day 4. That's a really rough day to be on.
And yes, when what we're doing doesn't work, we need to do something else. I've finally got a sponsor, and I'm starting on the steps. Something I should have done weeks ago, but there's no point in beating myself up over it.
lostdotty - This is going to sound mean, I know. But whatever we put ahead of our recovery, we will lose. Jobs, relationships, anything. Why? Because if we carry on drinking, things will get worse. We will get worse. Harder to be around. Harder to live with. Less able to deal with things. Less able to do the things we need to.
Yes, if you quit, it will affect your relationship. It may not be in a negative way. It may be a positive change. But if you don't... that will affect it as well. And it's unlikely to be positive.
And yes, when what we're doing doesn't work, we need to do something else. I've finally got a sponsor, and I'm starting on the steps. Something I should have done weeks ago, but there's no point in beating myself up over it.
lostdotty - This is going to sound mean, I know. But whatever we put ahead of our recovery, we will lose. Jobs, relationships, anything. Why? Because if we carry on drinking, things will get worse. We will get worse. Harder to be around. Harder to live with. Less able to deal with things. Less able to do the things we need to.
Yes, if you quit, it will affect your relationship. It may not be in a negative way. It may be a positive change. But if you don't... that will affect it as well. And it's unlikely to be positive.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Cleveland, OH
Posts: 1,191
Sounds like you're desperate. That is a good place to be. It motivates us to take action, which in my opinion is essential to recover. Millions have recovered through the 12 steps of AA. Maybe you can find your answer there.
Good luck to you.
Good luck to you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
So, your husband, knowing that you think you have an alcohol problem, is going to come home and ask you if you are going to the shop, I'm presuming for booze..?!
To be fair Dotty, he does not need to accept that you have a problem with alcohol, he just needs to acknowledge it on face value and support you. If he is aware you are trying to quit drinking I'm sure he can manage to go to the shop himself.
I know there are a lot of people round here who have had partners with drinking problems too. Hopefully some of them will be along shortly and offer you some better advice.
Personally I would make sure you put your feelings before your husbands. It would be fairly ridiculous to not stop drinking just so he can carry on drinking guilt free.
You deserve sobriety Dotty x There is lots of support here but I would recommend getting a local support network too xxx
To be fair Dotty, he does not need to accept that you have a problem with alcohol, he just needs to acknowledge it on face value and support you. If he is aware you are trying to quit drinking I'm sure he can manage to go to the shop himself.
I know there are a lot of people round here who have had partners with drinking problems too. Hopefully some of them will be along shortly and offer you some better advice.
Personally I would make sure you put your feelings before your husbands. It would be fairly ridiculous to not stop drinking just so he can carry on drinking guilt free.
You deserve sobriety Dotty x There is lots of support here but I would recommend getting a local support network too xxx
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 604
There is no magic switch. Such a bummer 
You've made a lot of attempts and keep coming back, a very positive sign!
I think people feel like when people quit drinking they're no fun anymore. How fun are most alcoholics anyway? Your husband may change his mind about quitting if you are successful and he sees positive changes. Never say never.
You're doing it for your health and well being. If he can't support that he has a big problem himself.
You've made a lot of attempts and keep coming back, a very positive sign!
I think people feel like when people quit drinking they're no fun anymore. How fun are most alcoholics anyway? Your husband may change his mind about quitting if you are successful and he sees positive changes. Never say never.
You're doing it for your health and well being. If he can't support that he has a big problem himself.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: wales
Posts: 27
Your right I am desperate.
My husband is not aware of how i'm feeling right now, he helped me nurse my massive hangover on Sunday until I had a drink last night to feel better. He slept last night while I was sick and today he's at work. I have to be strong and not have a drink this evening and find the courage to talk to him.
thank you all for your replies it do mean alot but I'm taking much in, if that makes sense, my mind is going over time just want this awful feeling to go away arhhhhhhhhhhhh!!
My husband is not aware of how i'm feeling right now, he helped me nurse my massive hangover on Sunday until I had a drink last night to feel better. He slept last night while I was sick and today he's at work. I have to be strong and not have a drink this evening and find the courage to talk to him.
thank you all for your replies it do mean alot but I'm taking much in, if that makes sense, my mind is going over time just want this awful feeling to go away arhhhhhhhhhhhh!!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,513
I hope you make the decision to stop drinking for good, today. I'm sorry your husband isn't supportive, but that happens to many of us. It's really hard for others to understand how we feel and how difficult this is. But, there is lots of support here, so keep reading and posting.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: wales
Posts: 27
He's not a bad man at all but it a bad routine we both have got ourselves into, he needs a reward for putting up with my behaviour.
The only difference being he can have one or two drinks and leave it there and always merry with a drink where as I never know when to stop and am very ugly with a drink.
Oh my god I just want to scream, can't concentrate
The only difference being he can have one or two drinks and leave it there and always merry with a drink where as I never know when to stop and am very ugly with a drink.
Oh my god I just want to scream, can't concentrate
lillyknitting
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Loughton, Essex, England
Posts: 638
Originally Posted by lostdotty 
I find myself here again.
What is it going to take for me to quit?
Please don't mention any of my past post, been sat here for two hours reading them over and over again and feeling very desperate
What is it going to take for me to quit?
Please don't mention any of my past post, been sat here for two hours reading them over and over again and feeling very desperate
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