Where is that switch ??
 

I find myself here again.

What is it going to take for me to quit?

Please don't mention any of my past post, been sat here for two hours reading them over and over again and feeling very desperate :c021:

Hi lostdotty :)

I think the key is to try more and more ways of recovery - if something hasn't worked - try something else...if you've been trying to do this yourself, maybe it's time to involve other people? :)

Sometimes we need to go outside our comfort zone - but it's worth it.

D

try silkworth.net and listen to the book Alcoholics Anonymous or read it there.

xa-speakers.org, listen to someone's story.

When you are really ready, you can stay stopped, I know you can!!! Stay strong!! maybe just tomorrow, don't drink. Just tomorrow. then maybe try again the next day?

Love,

That's a good question, and one of the reasons I decided to get sober. I didn't think I could afford to wait for the answer.

Welcome back - this can be a new beginning!:c014:

Yes...i do remember that sense of desperationdepression
and I never want to go back there again....:no:

I did have false starts before I found my solution please keep
working to find yours....:hug:

Welcome back ..:wave:

I think I reached that point when I knew I NEVER wanted to feel that desperation in relapsing again.
I am doing anything I can to prevent it from happening to me.
Staying glued to SR, attending AA and doing what they suggest, distancing myself as best I can from potential triggers, changing my routines.
These are all working for me.
I don't think there is a 'switch'. I think it involves a lot more than that. But, plenty of support here for a start.
Go for it xxx

For me the sense of struggle and torment was the worst aspect. There is a way out but it is uncomfortable and you have to make the first move.

I wish I had the courage years ago. Freedom is possible.

My 'switch' was deciding I am going to live the second half of my life differently. :)

It is working for me, and I am not going back.

You can change, lostdotty. If I can do it, so can you.

Sunny xxxx

I've been wondering where you were LostDotty...welcome back :) xxx

Don't try to wait for a switch. There isn't one. I was hoping I would wake up one day and miraculously not want to drink any more and not have any doubts about my decision. It never happened.

When I finally did stop drinking it was very flat feeling. It felt like I had to pry the drink from my hands and then work really hard doing whatever needed to be done to not pick it up again.

I am not sure I could have got through those first few weeks/months if it weren't for what I learnt from Rational Recovery and the continuing support here at SR. I was pretty much glued to my computer.

Don't feel bad for falling down, it happens to all of us. Sobriety takes practice.

Have you got any other support? Did you ever go to AA or talk to your doctor about quitting?

A switch? The only one I know about is the one in my head that stops me listening to anything other than the AV. Dunno where it is, dunno what presses it. But I know when it's been pushed...
I also know that I can't quit on my own. Finding that out was nearly enough to make me give in and carry on drinking. But, with help, the help of AA and this place, I can (mostly) not pick up that first drink. One day at a time.
I know 'mostly' sounds negative, but sometimes, not very often but it does, it hits me like... something very fast, very sudden, and very strong. There's no time to think properly. At least, looking back, there can't have been.
But most of the time, that feeling of wanting to drink passes. I post here. I phone people. And it goes away.
Do you have a plan for what to do next?

No Plan as such. It's going to be a long day and I can't wait to go to bed.

Just need to get through today and not have a drink this evening when my husband returns from work and asks if I'm going to the shop. The past 12 months he has not been prepared to accept I have a problem with Alcohol. He tells me straight he will never quit and I think he is worried, as am I, if I don't drink how it will effect our realationship.

As you can see from the number of my posts, I've had way too many start/stops!! I'm currently on day four. I think it's Dee that has asked me before, "What are you going to do differently this time?"...and this time one of the things I'm doing differently is listening to that question. This time I'm throwing myself into AA. What I was doing before clearly wasn't working. We can do this! :)

dancinggirl - congrats on day 4. That's a really rough day to be on.
And yes, when what we're doing doesn't work, we need to do something else. I've finally got a sponsor, and I'm starting on the steps. Something I should have done weeks ago, but there's no point in beating myself up over it.

lostdotty - This is going to sound mean, I know. But whatever we put ahead of our recovery, we will lose. Jobs, relationships, anything. Why? Because if we carry on drinking, things will get worse. We will get worse. Harder to be around. Harder to live with. Less able to deal with things. Less able to do the things we need to.
Yes, if you quit, it will affect your relationship. It may not be in a negative way. It may be a positive change. But if you don't... that will affect it as well. And it's unlikely to be positive.

Sounds like you're desperate. That is a good place to be. It motivates us to take action, which in my opinion is essential to recover. Millions have recovered through the 12 steps of AA. Maybe you can find your answer there.

Good luck to you.

So, your husband, knowing that you think you have an alcohol problem, is going to come home and ask you if you are going to the shop, I'm presuming for booze..?!

To be fair Dotty, he does not need to accept that you have a problem with alcohol, he just needs to acknowledge it on face value and support you. If he is aware you are trying to quit drinking I'm sure he can manage to go to the shop himself.

I know there are a lot of people round here who have had partners with drinking problems too. Hopefully some of them will be along shortly and offer you some better advice.

Personally I would make sure you put your feelings before your husbands. It would be fairly ridiculous to not stop drinking just so he can carry on drinking guilt free.

You deserve sobriety Dotty x There is lots of support here but I would recommend getting a local support network too xxx

There is no magic switch. Such a bummer :react

You've made a lot of attempts and keep coming back, a very positive sign!

I think people feel like when people quit drinking they're no fun anymore. How fun are most alcoholics anyway? Your husband may change his mind about quitting if you are successful and he sees positive changes. Never say never.
You're doing it for your health and well being. If he can't support that he has a big problem himself.

Your right I am desperate.

My husband is not aware of how i'm feeling right now, he helped me nurse my massive hangover on Sunday until I had a drink last night to feel better. He slept last night while I was sick and today he's at work. I have to be strong and not have a drink this evening and find the courage to talk to him.

thank you all for your replies it do mean alot but I'm taking much in, if that makes sense, my mind is going over time just want this awful feeling to go away arhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

I hope you make the decision to stop drinking for good, today. I'm sorry your husband isn't supportive, but that happens to many of us. It's really hard for others to understand how we feel and how difficult this is. But, there is lots of support here, so keep reading and posting.

He's not a bad man at all but it a bad routine we both have got ourselves into, he needs a reward for putting up with my behaviour.

The only difference being he can have one or two drinks and leave it there and always merry with a drink where as I never know when to stop and am very ugly with a drink.

Oh my god I just want to scream, can't concentrate

You are not alone, please, never ever give up giving up xx