amaslow

Someone posted about their mother enableing their AD. I can so relate!! My AD is out of state in much needed treatment.. My mother thinks it is not right for my AD to be away from her "home." She needs long term treatment now. my mom says," Is she never coming home?" ( with incredulous despair)

Many times I have specifically told my mother not to give her money.. and she does.. It is like she thinks I am being mean.. She has allowed my son to stay at ther house, when I have kicked him out for not following rules time and time again..She has this thing about " You can't just have them homeless or without money or this or that," She has kept secrets about my children from me..done things for them and told them not to tell me.. It just goes on and on.. My mother must have been so wounded as a child... Is it any wonder that I am codependent?

Now she is 84 and needs support to live alone and I have to make myself spend time with her!! I dread when the time comes that she can't live alone.. I am angry with her and I feel guilty about it.. It seem that in the past couple of years I have come to really understand the damage that she has done. when I would tell her the kids were using it was always, " I don't think so"... She defied my warnings about giving AD her credit card..She got a reality check on that one..

She is really very sweet, but her attitude is so depressing to me.. When she talks about my daughter, it is ... "What a shame. what a shame" I just don't find that helpful or optomistic..It is like nothing bad is ever supposed to happen to anyone,,, and we are doormats to make sure that everyone has what they want...

Sorry, I am rambleing.. Gotta go pick her up and take her to Walmart now!!

Anaya

Hello, amaslow. Don't apologize. I feel for you, having your parental authority undermined.

Have you told your mom how you feel? She may not realize how upset you are and that it is important to you that she respect your choices as a parent.

I'll keep you and your family in my prayers and am hoping your mom may gain respect for the boundaries you set.

Take care.

amaslow

She does mean well. It is just her reality to be that way.. It is hard to tell her how I feel.. she really believes I am wrong and she just says, " I can't do that." She thinks she is doing the Christian thing.. I don't think I can change her and her health is just fragile to make a big deal of it now... I am her only child.. If I had a sibling who could take over some, I would probably withdraw at times. I have no support from anyone to stand up to her, not that she is overbearing...It is more like she can't take conflict.. she has always been like that.. It made me want to be aggresive seeing her let everyone run over her.

LoveMeNow

I know your situation must be frustrating. My mom probably would have been the same way with my kids if she had lived longer. When the kids were younger, she would slip them money and tell them not to me. lol

I can laugh now but she used to get me so frustrated too.