My Daily Do
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 24
My Daily Do
I am a 44 year old male. I have been drinking heavily most of my life, though I did have several years of sobriety from 2003-2008.
I want to start this thread as a kind of daily do for me. Today is July 23, 2012. Today is day 1 for me.
I am going to make it through today sober. I have little desire to drink at the moment. Today it is clear to me what my addiction is doing to my life. I can hardly believe that I it has been more than 4 years since my long run of sobriety.
I am not starting this sobriety run at an ideal time -- but there never is an ideal time for me. My spouse and I both travel a great deal for work. Travelling leads to lots of temptations and problems.
I leave for a week of stressful international travel on Saturday. If I can stay sober until then, however, I might be able to make the trip sober too. One day at a time, right.
My plan is to post here everyday. I want to write down my story more for myself, but I will get going on that over the next few days. Today I want to mostly just read and learn about this SR community. I am thankful that it exists.
I want to start this thread as a kind of daily do for me. Today is July 23, 2012. Today is day 1 for me.
I am going to make it through today sober. I have little desire to drink at the moment. Today it is clear to me what my addiction is doing to my life. I can hardly believe that I it has been more than 4 years since my long run of sobriety.
I am not starting this sobriety run at an ideal time -- but there never is an ideal time for me. My spouse and I both travel a great deal for work. Travelling leads to lots of temptations and problems.
I leave for a week of stressful international travel on Saturday. If I can stay sober until then, however, I might be able to make the trip sober too. One day at a time, right.
My plan is to post here everyday. I want to write down my story more for myself, but I will get going on that over the next few days. Today I want to mostly just read and learn about this SR community. I am thankful that it exists.
A simple guy making his way
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Welcome amigo!
You know you can be sober if you had 5 years. That's great!
Looking forward to reading about your journey. I have come to really need this site. I hope you find it as useful.
You know you can be sober if you had 5 years. That's great!
Looking forward to reading about your journey. I have come to really need this site. I hope you find it as useful.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,516
Welcome!
It sounds like you know what to do to get sober and we are here to offer support. You're right that there is never a really good time to begin recovery, but I'm glad you're starting today.
It sounds like you know what to do to get sober and we are here to offer support. You're right that there is never a really good time to begin recovery, but I'm glad you're starting today.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 24
Thanks everyone. Yes, I was continuously sober for five years. So I should be able to get sober again, right? Not so easy it turns out. No easier this time than last time. Maybe harder. Hard as heck in any case.
If I do get sober again to the point where it is easier to maintain (e.g., after a year), I promise myself never to make the mistake that I made of starting again.
If I do get sober again to the point where it is easier to maintain (e.g., after a year), I promise myself never to make the mistake that I made of starting again.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
Welcome to the family. :ghug3 It can be rough going in early recovery but the rewards are so worth the effort. With the help of my counselor and this site I've been sober over two years now, and happily so. I wish the same for you.
With the help of my counselor and this site I've been sober over two years now, and happily so. I wish the same for you. Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
Welcome to SR, Amigo. It's great to have you here. This is a great place to start for support on your sobriety. There's so much understanding here and lots and lots of knowledge and experience.
Just remember that you CAN do this. It isn't easy, nobody says it is - but you can do it. You've had it before, so you know how great sobriety can be.
Temptation is everywhere, whether you travel or go nowhere... learning to deal with temptation is key to being and staying sober. When you're tempted? You don't have to act.
All the best.
Just remember that you CAN do this. It isn't easy, nobody says it is - but you can do it. You've had it before, so you know how great sobriety can be.
Temptation is everywhere, whether you travel or go nowhere... learning to deal with temptation is key to being and staying sober. When you're tempted? You don't have to act.
All the best.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Hi, Amigo, and welcome to the team here.
I think it is in the nature of every addict that there is a part of us that wants to stop drinking. Until that 'split personality' becomes apparent, we are just folks who enjoy the drink, maybe to excess, but still just happily plastered. When that realization hits that there is a problem, it is then that the struggle begins.
Who are the strugglers then? OK, there is you, seeking and finding us here at SR, registering, reading and finally introducing yourself. The other party to this is your addiction. It resides in your instinct / habit / survival part, and it seeks to survive by maintaining that buzz, even at the expense of your physical and mental health, your job, marriage, relationships and ultimately, your life.
Your addiction has no ability to do anything, cannot command your body the way your thinking brain can. It is helpless. All it can do is nag, nag, nag. It is pretty darned good at it too. It uses your fears, your desires, your self doubt to try to convince you just have a beer, just go for a couple, you really deserve it, you can't really quit for good, you have an incurable disease, you are powerless. None of these things are true. There is no objective evidence of any of them. To me, that means that they are only true if you want them to be true.
I think it is in the nature of every addict that there is a part of us that wants to stop drinking. Until that 'split personality' becomes apparent, we are just folks who enjoy the drink, maybe to excess, but still just happily plastered. When that realization hits that there is a problem, it is then that the struggle begins.
Who are the strugglers then? OK, there is you, seeking and finding us here at SR, registering, reading and finally introducing yourself. The other party to this is your addiction. It resides in your instinct / habit / survival part, and it seeks to survive by maintaining that buzz, even at the expense of your physical and mental health, your job, marriage, relationships and ultimately, your life.
Your addiction has no ability to do anything, cannot command your body the way your thinking brain can. It is helpless. All it can do is nag, nag, nag. It is pretty darned good at it too. It uses your fears, your desires, your self doubt to try to convince you just have a beer, just go for a couple, you really deserve it, you can't really quit for good, you have an incurable disease, you are powerless. None of these things are true. There is no objective evidence of any of them. To me, that means that they are only true if you want them to be true.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,937
Welcome to SR!
I was sober for about the same length of time as you before I picked up again. After that, staying sober was hard. I had an "on again - off again" period for about a year. I found this place and finally gave up and tried AA. That combination has made the difference for me. Don't hesitate to get face to face support if you need it.
I was sober for about the same length of time as you before I picked up again. After that, staying sober was hard. I had an "on again - off again" period for about a year. I found this place and finally gave up and tried AA. That combination has made the difference for me. Don't hesitate to get face to face support if you need it.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Sorry, I got interrupted there, had to catch the rinse cycle on the washing machine.
I was saying that you are in control, you get to frame this the way you choose. You can make that commitment to never drink again, and do it. Thanks for offering to share your journey with us. You will be followed closely by lots of folks, many of whom are just like you. I wish you the best.
I was saying that you are in control, you get to frame this the way you choose. You can make that commitment to never drink again, and do it. Thanks for offering to share your journey with us. You will be followed closely by lots of folks, many of whom are just like you. I wish you the best.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 24
I appreciate very much all of the support here! Today is July 24, 2012. Today is Day 2 for me.
I want to post about my past and so forth at some point, but for today I want to focus on concrete steps looking ahead.
I had a great insight last night: I need a support person. I need someone or some group to whom I am accountable. I think that could make a huge difference for me over the longer haul. In general, I think I need more intimate relationships beyond my family. I can hardly believe, but I no longer have any real close friends.
So I decided to do two things: (1) I looked up local meetings. I found a AA meeting for atheists and agnostics in my area. It meets Thursdays and Sundays. I am going to go on Thursday and check it out. It could be my ticket to getting a sponsor. Plus, the meetings and discussion are obviously a good thing.
(2) I set up an appointment with a counselor for tomorrow in the morning. He is a local psychiatrist who specializes in alcoholism.
My immediate problem is that I have a six day trip to South America on Saturday. When I get back, my spouse has a trip, leaving me with the kids to myself. This is not totally atypical for us -- we travel a fair amount, her more than me. I think I can do it though! The trip has some pressurizing events, but those are not occasions to drink. I am actually more vulnerable when I am relaxing in the hotel room at night. I am also vulnerable when I get back to the USA and am home alone with the kiddos. When they go to bed, I often have drank a lot in the past.
BUT . . . I am motivated right now. And motivation goes a long way. Plus, I need to do this thing one step at a time. Step for today: Don't drink. Step for tomorrow: Talk to counselor (and don't drink). Step for Thursday: Attend Meeting (and don't drink). If I break it down into smaller steps, each step seems do-able. So I can do it!
Amigo
I want to post about my past and so forth at some point, but for today I want to focus on concrete steps looking ahead.
I had a great insight last night: I need a support person. I need someone or some group to whom I am accountable. I think that could make a huge difference for me over the longer haul. In general, I think I need more intimate relationships beyond my family. I can hardly believe, but I no longer have any real close friends.
So I decided to do two things: (1) I looked up local meetings. I found a AA meeting for atheists and agnostics in my area. It meets Thursdays and Sundays. I am going to go on Thursday and check it out. It could be my ticket to getting a sponsor. Plus, the meetings and discussion are obviously a good thing.
(2) I set up an appointment with a counselor for tomorrow in the morning. He is a local psychiatrist who specializes in alcoholism.
My immediate problem is that I have a six day trip to South America on Saturday. When I get back, my spouse has a trip, leaving me with the kids to myself. This is not totally atypical for us -- we travel a fair amount, her more than me. I think I can do it though! The trip has some pressurizing events, but those are not occasions to drink. I am actually more vulnerable when I am relaxing in the hotel room at night. I am also vulnerable when I get back to the USA and am home alone with the kiddos. When they go to bed, I often have drank a lot in the past.
BUT . . . I am motivated right now. And motivation goes a long way. Plus, I need to do this thing one step at a time. Step for today: Don't drink. Step for tomorrow: Talk to counselor (and don't drink). Step for Thursday: Attend Meeting (and don't drink). If I break it down into smaller steps, each step seems do-able. So I can do it!
Amigo
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: SE Michigan
Posts: 1,066
Good for you!
I'm also doing AA (as a pretty hard-core atheist; but am finding it's definitely do-able) and also seeing an addictions psychologist with a focus on cognitive-behavioural therapy. The two complement each other nicely, I hope you find the same thing.
I'm also doing AA (as a pretty hard-core atheist; but am finding it's definitely do-able) and also seeing an addictions psychologist with a focus on cognitive-behavioural therapy. The two complement each other nicely, I hope you find the same thing.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 24
Today is July 25, 2012. Today is Day 3 for me.
I had a totally weird experience visiting a psychiatrist today. Basically, his approach was very medicine/drug oriented. He believes in something called the Sinclair Method:
Sinclair Method - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
I had never heard of it before. I am not sure that it was good for me to hear about it either. Basically, the approach involves combining medicine (naltrexone) with attempted moderation. He also thought I might look into something for anxiety. He certainly wasn't pushing anything, but it is kind of shocking how easy it would be to get these benzo medications.
As someone who is trying to achieve complete abstinence but who also craves drinking, this was probably not a good thing for me. The idea of a program that can work that allows me to keep drinking initially is not what I was looking for. It is not what I need, I don't think. Also, I am pretty sure that I could get addicted to anti-anxiety meds. They are pretty seductive to me.
The doctor was able to sense all of my reservations, and he recommended psychology and talk therapy. Give it a try. He also recommended folic acid and a certain vitamin B.
Does anyone know anything about naltrexone and/or the Sinclair Method? Has anyone had a similar experience -- i.e., looking for talk therapy but getting advice about possible drugs?
My head is kind of spinning. I did not expect this visit to give my addicted part an opening to make a case for drinking.
I had a totally weird experience visiting a psychiatrist today. Basically, his approach was very medicine/drug oriented. He believes in something called the Sinclair Method:
Sinclair Method - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
I had never heard of it before. I am not sure that it was good for me to hear about it either. Basically, the approach involves combining medicine (naltrexone) with attempted moderation. He also thought I might look into something for anxiety. He certainly wasn't pushing anything, but it is kind of shocking how easy it would be to get these benzo medications.
As someone who is trying to achieve complete abstinence but who also craves drinking, this was probably not a good thing for me. The idea of a program that can work that allows me to keep drinking initially is not what I was looking for. It is not what I need, I don't think. Also, I am pretty sure that I could get addicted to anti-anxiety meds. They are pretty seductive to me.
The doctor was able to sense all of my reservations, and he recommended psychology and talk therapy. Give it a try. He also recommended folic acid and a certain vitamin B.
Does anyone know anything about naltrexone and/or the Sinclair Method? Has anyone had a similar experience -- i.e., looking for talk therapy but getting advice about possible drugs?
My head is kind of spinning. I did not expect this visit to give my addicted part an opening to make a case for drinking.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 24
Me again. I did some searching around SR and found some stuff on this method. I gather that it is quite controversial. Sorry, I didn't mean to cause trouble or anything. I honestly never heard of it until today.
Also, I think I was not supposed to post the wiki page above. Sorry about that too, I didn't know.
Also, I think I was not supposed to post the wiki page above. Sorry about that too, I didn't know.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: SE Michigan
Posts: 1,066
Huh. I've heard of that but never realised it was actually considered effective by some. Interesting.
That's all I've got, though...can't really offer medical advice or opinion here. Were me, I'd only try a drug-assisted method after other methods failed. I did have a shrink suggest Naltrexone to me several years ago but I never followed through.
I will say this, based on extensive experience...a psychiatrist (medical doctor, can prescribe meds) is more likely to lean towards medical methods, just based on training and orientation.
I'm seeing a cognitive-behavioural psychologist (can't prescribe meds) and he agrees that getting back on meds is probably a good thing for me and he will refer to a psy-doc...but also that it's important for me to get a better handle on sobriety first. Since many psychotropic meds do not play well at all with alcohol.
That's all I've got, though...can't really offer medical advice or opinion here. Were me, I'd only try a drug-assisted method after other methods failed. I did have a shrink suggest Naltrexone to me several years ago but I never followed through.
I will say this, based on extensive experience...a psychiatrist (medical doctor, can prescribe meds) is more likely to lean towards medical methods, just based on training and orientation.
I'm seeing a cognitive-behavioural psychologist (can't prescribe meds) and he agrees that getting back on meds is probably a good thing for me and he will refer to a psy-doc...but also that it's important for me to get a better handle on sobriety first. Since many psychotropic meds do not play well at all with alcohol.
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