dig

I officially committed to straightening myself out on July 7 and the last two weeks have been great. I did buy some booze tonight. I had what I would call an "intense" craving to enjoy a few drinks on a Friday night. I didnt buy a huge bottle to be safe.

But it got me thinking, what if this all-or-nothing approach isnt for me? I do not have problem drinkers around me. Once or twice a year I have "events" whereby friends/family are together and the atmosphere leads to drinking what I know is considered heavy. I dont ever want to be drinking at the level I was before... but as an adult, if I get months or years into this, is there a line of thought that I'm sober but able to have a drink or two here and there?

I doubt it but thought I'd ask. I'm new to this but would like feedback.

My biggest reason for asking - I had a few drinks tonight, nothing eventful and I'm kicking myself around thinking I failed, I'm no good, I cant do this, etc. -- and really... is that fair to say?

IndaMiricale

Well you know you best.

I say just ask yourself does it interfere with things, do you have consequences. Me after decades of having fun it turned out I needed it every day to function. First thing I thought about when my eyes opened. I planned everything and everywhere I went according to the drink.

khgmr63

Well ...I havent been sober long enough to give you any advice on this..But as for me if I took the gamble and had one drink I would lose...I asked myself the same question a long time ago and my drinking steadily progressed ..If you are having to ask this I would say just give it up for good..

vivid-red

You are in doubt whether you could handle this or not.....

If in doubt go without!

dig

I don't think this is a doubt thing (yet) -- I was mostly wondering if there is a line of thought in recovery that eventually someone could enjoy a couple drinks here and there... as opposed to the mantra I have set out to try to live by in saying that I've had my last drink...

vivid-red

I sense denial.....

ACT10Npack

Your in the wrong forum if you want to controlling your drinking. It's really uP to you if you want to stop all together or drink responsible. If you can drink a few beers and stop and feel good about it then do what is right for you. But if you keep getting drunk and unhappy then you got your answer.

Google mm drinking. If you want to drink responsiblely. Good luck.

DisplacedGRITS

everyone's recovery is personal but always remember that when you drink you're playing with fire. you run the risk of getting burned. it's not a given that you're going to fall back into your old ways but if you're like most of us, you are. it won't happen all at once but it will happen again. all i know is that my power over alcohol is strongest before the first drink. after that, who knows what can happen. it eats at my will with every drink i have and i can be in a bad place very quickly without even knowing it. by then, it moves on to tear away at the self respect i've been building up so carefully. it will gnaw away at my pride. it will tear me down physically. it will have me again. no. i will not risk all that i have built, all that i have worked on for that one drink. i have cried, i have suffered, i have bled from my soul and i have triumphed for my sobriety. one drink may have the power to take that away from me. perhaps i am a bit of a coward, but i am too wary to risk it.

dig

thx ACT - this is what I was looking for! george clooney endorses this approach!?!?

@hendrix - of course there is some denial -- after 14 days sobriety and actually enjoying a couple drinks tonight without problem I was thinking more long term about whether or not I would be able to "take a drink" in the future...

Dee74

it took me twenty years to get it but I know now it's the first drink that gets me in trouble...not the 25th.
It's called controlling your drinking, or moderation - and it's the pipe dream of every single alcoholic who ever lived.

Every time I had a break from drinking I thought that meant I'd gained control over my drinking...every time I started again slowly...a drink here and drink there...

and every time - I ended up back in that same dark place.

I was never in control - my addiction was. I was never in control until I made the decision to walk away for good, that final time.

I'll be straight with you....if you could do this dig, why haven't you done it before?
why did you end up here?

D

dig

@Dee - you are right... and im just starting out, which is no excuse! i have never demonstrated an ability to drink responsibly, i am a textbook "functional alcoholic" - i guess that is part of my dilemma, its in my head that i can manage it...

i failed tonight for the first time in two weeks and i was beating myself up over it, which got me thinking about what i now know as "mm drinking" -- but the more i look into it, and the more i see people here fighting the same battle i am -- i tend to think im better off without...

Dee74

no need to beat yourself up..whats done is done...

but do be honest with yourself and take whatever lessons from it you need to...

it would be foolish not to dig

D

artsoul

It's just your addiction trying to sneak back in, dig. Only people like us decide to get sober and then try to figure out a way to drink again. It's not logical, but it's still tempting because we listened to that thinking for so long. In the first weeks of being sober, I had to really work on keeping my focus because I'd be feeling strong and motivated and the next minute I was sure I didn't have a problem.

If you know to expect it, you can catch yourself and find ways to get through the cravings. The good news is that it gets easier over time, it really does.

jobei

Drinking is bad for you... no matter how you look at it! Doing things that are bad for you NEVER lead to good things happening. That's the way this recovering alcoholic sees it...

yeahgr8

I have heard of this, it's not for me, but the people that have done this have given up for a substantial amount of time then managed to drink "normally" so if you want to try this quit alcohol for say 5/10 years, then maybe try this approach.

DarkDays

You Addictive Voice is getting to you plain and simple.

Nothing will ever change unless you change.


AlcoHELL, will always be the same, as long as you continue drinking the thoughts, obsession and cravings will be there.

Just remember its progressive.

Good luck and BtW Life without alcoHELL is cool and liberating .

sugarbear1

I thought I was "controlling" my drinking for many years. Then I realized my drinking was controlling me.

You do what you need to do for you. No one can tell ya how to run your life!

What's your gut tell you?

tomsteve

alcoholism isnt about how much or how often we drink. it is about the mental, emotional, physical aspects that lead us to drinking.
i have the disease of alcoholism. it is a disease that tell me i dont have a disease, everythings allright, keep on drinking.
today the disease is dormant in me. just like has been stated, all i had to do was change me.all it will take though, is for me to dwell on one wrong thought or action and it will kick back in.
cunning, baffling, powerful, patient, and deadly.

MetalChick

I don't know, but I hear many stories about people being sober for years then drinking again, and it is like they pick up right where they left off when the quit. I think after that much time, you may not even want to have those few drinks though. I think it is easy to obsess about being able to drink again "someday" early in recovery. I know I think about that a lot.

dig

thx everyone for the feedback. for now im going to stick to sobriety and mark Friday down as a stumble (which is to be expected early on in my journey). i had a sober saturday and sunday and right back at it... time to move on! i read all the comments and i really do feel like i have a community here i can lean on!