good grief
To thine own self be true.
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Sometimes we have to keep putting our hand in the pretty flame before it sticks in our mind that doing so only gets us BURNED. As time goes on, notice how well you have learned this lesson and if you have not, there is something else you need to work on 
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how true your words are! i, seriously, tried to argue with him about some of his hypocritical accusations. all it did was make me angry. it is beyond me that he believes this garbage AND that he's telling it to his family and friends.
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Ah yes, that was my part in keeping the merry go round spinning too! Id keep going back to argue my point... But the whole conversation was pointless and futile.
I stopped participating... And life got so much better
I stopped participating... And life got so much better
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i think it's the blatant hypocrisy that is frustrating me so much. i tend to be such a logical person, but this whole relationship has been a complete and total mindf**k for me. i'm trying to just let it be, and keep repeating to myself "QUACK!" in an effort to have it sink in that there is NO logic and no way for me to truly wrap my brain around the things he has said. i know the truth, and he is talking a whole lot of crazy.
To thine own self be true.
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After so much frustration I realized, from things they all have said to me and done, that they actually BELIEVE what they say and think, no matter how obscene, hurtful, or hypocritical they are being. It helped me to understand it this way: They live in some parallel universe, where their universe can touch my universe and we can interact, but that the logic, empathy, and morals that we live by in our universe do not apply in THEIRS. It's like trying to have a mature, committed relationship with a Martian or monster or something. This lesson has been REALLY hard for me to learn because I KEEP DOING IT!
To thine own self be true.
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Abraham Twerski's book, Addictive Thinking, REALLY helped me to understand what happens to them and their thinking. It explains the hypocrisy. So do Dr Floyd Garrett's articles on addiction and alcoholism. You can google Dr Garrett and addiction and his website will pop up.
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thanks for the resources! i love that you liken it to a parallel universe (partially because i'm reading king's "dark tower" series which is chock full of that sort of intertwining realities/whens). it is much easier for me to view it in that manner: here's reality, and over here is HIS reality. just brilliant. thank you so much for that analogy.
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it is stephen king. it's not scary at all, but it's WEIRD. i swear, he has thrown just about everything imaginable (western, sci-fi, time travel, romance, alcoholism, etc.) into the series. i'm on book six of eight. the first one was a tad hard for me get into, but i marched on and was hooked by the second. it was actually recommended to me by a friend the last time xabf and i broke up, but i had so many other books to get through first.
xabf thought my constant reading made me boring. to use his words (as he defended his drinking), he just "doesn't know a d*mn thing about anything!"
it was actually recommended to me by a friend the last time xabf and i broke up, but i had so many other books to get through first. xabf thought my constant reading made me boring. to use his words (as he defended his drinking), he just "doesn't know a d*mn thing about anything!"
To thine own self be true.
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to use his words (as he defended his drinking), he just "doesn't know a d*mn thing about anything!"
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I have been a Steven King fan since he first became popular. I used to say I 'understood' his thought processes to come up with these wonderful books, roflmao even pondered the possibility of his being an A.
Well, yep he is one, and in recovery for some time now, lol His Dark Towers series is definitely a comparison of reality and the altered reality of an A. Just as Robert Louis Stevenson's Dr Jeckle and Mr Hyde was a description of his own alcoholism.
It was only the further I got into my own recovery that I was able to see the 'real' reality that was in my life during those years of my drinking and using and my 'false' reality. Trust me during those years that was my 'real' reality. And boy was it warped!!!
(((((shawty80)))))
Best to continue NC and get on with your own life. It is hard, but it will get easier!!
J M H O
Love and hugs,
Well, yep he is one, and in recovery for some time now, lol His Dark Towers series is definitely a comparison of reality and the altered reality of an A. Just as Robert Louis Stevenson's Dr Jeckle and Mr Hyde was a description of his own alcoholism.
It was only the further I got into my own recovery that I was able to see the 'real' reality that was in my life during those years of my drinking and using and my 'false' reality. Trust me during those years that was my 'real' reality. And boy was it warped!!!
(((((shawty80)))))
Best to continue NC and get on with your own life. It is hard, but it will get easier!!
J M H O
Love and hugs,
To thine own self be true.
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Originally Posted by SoaringSpirits 
Thanks Learn2Live, I just ordered the Twerski book you mentioned from Amazon and am looking forward to reading it.
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you know one thing i love about this modern age? kindle technology. twerski book has been ordered and downloaded.
laurie, i've often wondered, while reading this series, how therapeutic it was for king to write. thank you for your support! maybe *someday* my xabf will find the same clarity that you did, but i'm not holding my breath or waiting around for that day. nc it is, from here on out!
laurie, i've often wondered, while reading this series, how therapeutic it was for king to write. thank you for your support! maybe *someday* my xabf will find the same clarity that you did, but i'm not holding my breath or waiting around for that day. nc it is, from here on out!
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xabf is a hearing aid salesman. i sometimes wondered if he had any sharp instruments in his repair kit that i could use to pierce my eardrums with and then stuff my ears with cotton. 
i know for sure that he's definitely sold himself on this whole drinking thing!
the "dark tower" series is actually the only king that i've read, but i'm loving it!!
so glad to have spent my day unpacking and posting here. you have all helped me so much today!
i know for sure that he's definitely sold himself on this whole drinking thing! the "dark tower" series is actually the only king that i've read, but i'm loving it!!
so glad to have spent my day unpacking and posting here. you have all helped me so much today!
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