KMC2008

So, I am finally stepping back on the site and admitting I fell off the wagon. It was last Friday night. I fell off pretty hard. I was doing so good and then....booooooom. I was ready for a night in and the feelings to drink weren't that hard, but I just went promising myself I'd only have a couple. Of course that did not happen and I had the worse hangover the next day. I have been clean since that Friday and I hope that I can continue. I need to pick up where I left off? I am not sure. Any advice to those who have fallen up? What's the best way to get back up again?

Dee74

Hi KMC

Many many of us have been in that situation... so please don't feel like you're unique or even worse unworthy of support

My advice is to look at what you were doing for your recovery - then look at what you can add now to make it better

The important thing is to not give up

D

calmernow

I too well know the pain of relapse. I fell off the wagon first after 30 days , then 60 and then 100. Each time I remember what I know now to be my addictive brain saying "but you used to be able to have 1 or 2 lets just give it a try - maybe you were going through a bad phase in your life." Yeah ..... NO . I finally had to really accept that I was powerless over alcohol. A very hard concept for someone used to being in control of their life.

Each time I fell the guilt, shame and remorse was so bad I thought it could not get worse but it did every time i fell again. I had such high hopes for myself and so did my family. What worked for me was just getting back up and starting over even though it felt like trudging through deep mud. Your sober time is not erased. I learned things at each stage of my recovery and unfortunately had to go through the pain and humiliation of falling to really get it. The good news is it really does get better ( Ihave 50 days again) even though it my not feel that way right now. Just do what you were doing before, daily AA meetings helped me, and the next time you have the thought of just having one or two remember what happened this time. Don't let feeling better trip you up. As soon as I started to feel better I was vulnerable. Learn from what you did wrong this time and start over it's all any of us can do. Best of luck !

DisplacedGRITS

Start again from square 1. Are you ready to admit that there isn't such a thing as a couple of drinks? That is a concept that takes a lot of people a long time to grasp and finally accept. It's not as bad as it sounds. It's all about staying sober today. Not tomorrow or the day after. Just today. Every today. Think about what led to your relapse and what you can do in the future to prevent it. Something was missing from your sobriety plan so now is the perfect time to figure out what was missing and fix it. Welcome back to the forums! Glad you're here and sober again!

KMC2008

Thank you, all. I must get back up and more importantly I must humble myself. I am powerless over alcohol there is no way around it!

pinkdog

Hi! When I admitted that I could not control the alcohol, it was very freeing for me. Making the decision to not drink at all was even better. It really was a great weight off of my shoulders. Sobriety rocks! You can do it friend.

DisplacedGRITS

Humility is a powerful and wonderful tool for the alcoholic in recovery. When my ego gets out of wack and i am tempted by the lure of "just a couple of drinks" it takes a strong sense of humility to bring the ego back in check and remember that "one is too many and a thousand isn't enough." I used to think that humility was defeat but the longer i'm in recovery, the longer i see it as a tool and a gift. Humility lets me be human and lets me admit that i'm not perfect so i don't have to give in to drinking and trying to control it. I get to be humble and say no, drinking is beyond me and bam! I don't have to worry about it! What a relief!