Veritas1

I was just told that I think I am helping people here, but what newcomer would want what I have.

I was told AA will not work for me.

I was told much more than that. I understand the full context is missing.

I won't go in to a long drawn out affair.

It just feels awful to hear.

The other day a newcomer here told me I lecture and rant as well.

Maybe it's time for me to go away.

Mark75

No, don't go away.

Whoever told you all that needs to remember that when we point at someone, three fingers point back at us as well. And, who really knows what each individual newcomer needs to hear? You have your own experience, nobody can take that away from you and it may be just exactly what that person needs to hear.

SR works because everyone comes here to share, everything... the good, the bad, the mundane and the fantastic. Be a part of it.

awuh1

What you have is a perspective on alcoholism. It’s valuable. Period. I think a lot of folks are so close to their last drink that they are extra sensitive (not to mention that most of us alcoholics are extra sensitive to begin with). Many come off as extra harsh if they don’t like what they hear from someone, even if it’s exactly what they need to consider (and often because it’s exactly what they need to consider). If people fear the perspective of others it’s their loss. The danger is in not having enough of those perspectives to choose from.

muvinon

I can check my own sharing usually. Can I find it embedded in the principles? Does my own opinion about my experience obviously need some healthy distance before sharing? Why am I sharing what I'm sharing? What's the point, please, muvinon?

That quick inventory usually allows me to handle criticism and consider it rather than react negatively.

I have absolutely learned from constructive criticism offered to me from others. I also know the difference between constructive criticism and the blaming game.

So.....seems to me, you get to figure out which is which?

Boleo

You mean it was the first time you heard that?

Welcome to the front of the class. As long as you try to be an A student, the D students will automatically attack you. After all, you are making them look bad.

heathersweeds

Don't leave Veristas!!! You have said some things to me that had got me to think about truth! This is priceless! I heard in a meeting the other day, we are ALL needed in the program. Every different personality, and different soul is needed to help others sick and suffering! So you got one newcomer that doesn't agree with you. Get up, and move on to another! You are valuable!:ghug3

CarolD

Remember how often I've shared with you about not listening to
anyone who is trying to undermind your recovery?

Hold up your head....you are appreciated and a valuable member of SR
You owe no one an explanation on how or why you share with us.

Negetive people are certainly in no position to put anyone down.
The Ignore function is working ...and it includes PM's..

Forward we go...side by side ....

UpperbucksAAguy

All any of us have is experience. Your experience is no less or no more valid than anyone else's

Veritas1

I had a good cry. I prayed to God.

I called another member of AA and talked to her for a long time.

I am okay.

Thank you.

Veritas1

It was one of my AA sponsors, and she told me that I hide out on SR, on the outskirts of AA, thinking I am helping people here, and think I have a service position here with my daily postings, but that she said I am really not helping as I have nothing to give.

I just wanted to clear up that it was my outside SR AA sponsor that told me those things.

Thank you everyone.

This too shall pass.

Forward I go.

tomsteve

yes it will pass. i am sorry your sponsor doesnt follow the responsiblity declearation.

When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help,
I want the hand of A.A. always to be there.
And for that: I am responsible.


keep up the good work.

Lily

I try not to let people know I am on here that I know f2f. It is just better that way for me. All you need is one day to help someone.

EVERYONE deserves to be treated with dignity and respect.

I disagree with what was said to you Veritas.

Lily

Change4good

You are and have been valuable to me. Period.

Mark75

SR is not the outskirts of anything. It is SR, not AA. That's OK. SR has been enormously valuable to me as I work the program of AA. Enormously. But it's not AA.

Is it service?

Sure, I know that those people who responded to my questions and concerns and who posted their experience were helping me... service? Sure.

However...It isn't the same, in my experience, as face to face service in AA though. Nothing can match that experience. Don't miss it!

Now, this idea that you have nothing to offer the newcomer... comes, I think, from that whole "Take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth" school of thought regarding newcomers at AA meetings. I don't totally subscribe to that line of thouight... I like the "Listen and Learn" way of stating it better... Hearing from newcomers is important to my own recovery.

But anyway... SR is not AA! You can't sit on your hands or you can't type! It doesn't matter if cotton is in your ears, this isn't audible!! Say what you want!

Thank God, really, that SR is what it is... What a wonderful place to come and be able to have discussions and dialog with each other, regardless of what step we are on, or what, if any, recovery program we are using...

I rarely discuss the fact that I participate in an online recovery forum. For a lot of reasons... some of which you encountered with your sponsor's attitude... and partly because I want to be anonymous on SR, even from other people in AA... though I do occasionally meet people here on SR in real life.. but all that is arranged by PM...

So stick around... Stay close to your sponsor in real life and... keep posting, anonymously, here on SR!

UpperbucksAAguy

Do you?

If that is true, change to make sure you do show up more in the face to face world.

If it is nonsense, get a new sponsor

PaperDolls

I'm glad you're still here. I would miss you.

CaiHong

Hi Veritas,
When I have mentioned SR at meetings or to individuals as a great resource, the indifference surprised me. Because I can't get to many meetings SR has been invaluable and a greats orcs of useful information.
I think of posting on the newcomers board as service work, no question about that. lately I have only been really responding to posts that I feel an empathy with and where I might say something that would click with that person.
Veritas I always look forward to your postings.

Love
CaiHong

Veritas1

Thank you everyone.

Today, I feel like I am not sure what to do.

On one hand I have one sponsor that talked to me in such a negative way yesterday that I was in tears and upset. I almost drank.

I prayed instead. Then I called another sponsor I work with.

Basically I have about 3 women in AA that I call for help.

Today, I feel like I don't want to talk to anyone ever again.

Imagine that.

It's hard when you go to someone that you trust and they treat you badly.

I hope I learn this time, as it is not the first time this has happened between us.

I don't know why anyone would tell someone that they don't think AA will work for them.

Even if they are judging and in their mind they are spotting half-measures...what right to talk down to an alcoholic, and discourage them?

This sponsor is of the hard truth variety, and I call her for the truth, yet...it crossed the line.

I don't know what to do about it now.

UpperbucksAAguy

That won't be good for anyone - especially you

What is the purpose of a sponsor?

Veritas1

to help