Jersey Nonny

On Impurrfect's suggestion, I am moving this thread.

I love SR...I was so happy when I stumbled upon it, because I could no longer attend AA meetings and needed a place where I could share "stuff" with other recovering alcoholics.

There are so many "special interest" groups...you name it, SR has it...I wasn't even sure where this topic would fit. We devote a lot of threads to the Newcomers, and that is as it should be. But, I've often wondered if there are any Old Timers here with multiple years of sobriety who would like to share their experiences and memories of The Good Old Days of AA.

I've seen a lot of changes in my 30+ years...and, I guess I'm feeling a bit nostalgic. Anyone care to chime in?

winslynn

Yes,most meetings are non smoking now...Thank God!I never sat in a smoking meeting if there was a choice,and I smoked a pipe at the time.It seemed the smoking meetings were inferior to the nonsmoking meetings.
There was no internet then,I consider it a mixed blessing,many new people try to get sober via online forums and it doesn't work that way.

Jersey Nonny

I have to admit it was hard to quit drinking and smoking at the same time, so I could understand the meetings having a lot of smokers. I remember when my home group first voted to go non-smoking...well, before we went totally non-smoking, we invested in a huge overhead air purifier. Everytime it detected smoke, it made clicking noises...so much so, it interfered with the speakers...hence, disconnect the machine.

Then, we tried having half the room non-smoking...half the room smoking. Of course, the smoking side far outweighed the other...it's a wonder the building didn't tip over.

Next, we were pretty much forced to go non-smoking by the church where we held the meeting. It seemed the insurance companies were putting the screws to them. Since we had no choice, we complied...but, there was always a group outside the room in the driveway, puffing away.

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many new people try to get sober via online forums and it doesn't work that way.

I have to agree with you there...nothing beats a f2f meeting...and, I miss them terribly. But, I find great comfort in having SR available. I've even recommended it to people who might have been in a situation where meetings were unavailable, but they had access to a pc.

Thanks for sharing, winslynn.

Jersey Nonny

When I first got sober, there was such a thing as "12 Stepping" when two or three people would respond to someone needing help. We would take them to a meeting, if they weren't too sick to go. Or, we might actually sit with them until they sobered up enough to get them to a meeting. Worse case scenarios, we would get them into a detox, if they required medical aid. At that time they had to have been drinking to get into a detox and/or rehab.

Today, I know from personal experience with my sons, they almost have to detox before they will be admitted. They have to keep calling every day, until a bed becomes available.

Were we more caring or did we tend to "coddle" back then? Has today's attitude changed because there are more addicts/alcoholics than there are facilities to accommodate them? What were your experiences years ago compared to present day?

CarolD

Hmm....

I don't know about this statement and neither does anyone else.
For many years AA has had a program in place ..first useing
snail mail...now hooking up with various new media resources

Let's not discount those people efforts and hopefully recoveries.

Now..please let's get back to the topic...

LDT

I'm not an old timer, and I don't smoke, but I thought this was sort of funny, re: smoking at meetings...reminds me of a scene in the movie 'Clean and Sober' ( I'm sure everyone has seen it....if not, you should). Michael Keaton goes to get his 30 day chip. The room was so thick with smoke you could hardly see. At the end of his heartfelt talk to the group, he looks out through the smoke and says "thank you for this chip ....... and thank you for not smoking".

UpperbucksAAguy

Everything is the same- their just different now

CarolD

I fled from my first meeting at half time...it was a Speakers meeting
and the man had one of the most horrific stories I've ever heard

Geez! I sure was not that bad off
Who were these weirdo people?

I cauht a taxi...went to one of my favorite bars...and got drunk.

About 3 years later...my drinking had turned me into a depressed woman I detested.
All the fun bottles were empty.

Back to AA....this time my consentration was iffy
I don't remember who said what or what the topics were.

I sat near the back...ahead was a large red banner over the
podium....Keep coming back It works

I did and it has....grateful for God and AA's direction

Jersey Nonny

I'm not sure I get this, AA guy.

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I don't know about this statement and neither does anyone else.

Okay, Carol...I'll concede that we have no way of knowing how many people have gotten sober through methods other than AA meetings...not any more than we know exactly how many have gotten sober "in the rooms". I would never trivialize any method by which a person manages to get and stay sober...I'm all in favor of anything that truly works.

However, if someone needed help and asked me, I would have to tell them what I know to be true.

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I fled from my first meeting at half time...it was a Speakers meeting
and the man had one of the most horrific stories I've ever heard

Geez! I sure was not that bad off
Who were these weirdo people?

Isn't that why we're told to identify not compare...even if it's just with the feelings of the alcoholic. I once had an "oldtimer" come up to me and say, "Keep coming, but I personally don't think you are an alcoholic...maybe just a problem drinker." Then, too, after a speaking commitment, a new person came up to thank me and said, "OMG...what a horror story." I had no idea what part of my story she was referring to, because everyone I knew drank the way I did...I thought it was perfectly natural.

LDT...I have seen "Clean and Sober" and thought it was one of the more realistic portrayals of alcoholism. I actually found it easier to quit drinking than to quit smoking. I quit the latter after a couple of years of sobriety, picked up a cigarette when I was under stress, and finally quit again a couple of years later. I now consider myself "a recovering smoker."

UpperbucksAAguy

Jersey- I have been around awhile too. Not much has actually changed in AA but the people. People still come in and find help. The delivery may not always be the same, but the message is

Tommyh

when I got sober in 88,more focus was put on chapter 5 and beyond

there even was some folks who asked about chapters 1-4,the "forgotten chapters of the big book"

anyone remember those days?

Db1105

My last drink was on December 24, 1977. I was a very sick 17 year old. There were a couple of founding members in my area still around. It was hard to fathom how someone could not drink that long. It's truly shocking to seen just how fast that time goes by.

I remember always having a couple of dimes in my pocket in case I had to make a phone call, the smoky rooms, and the great fellow ship of first getting sober. I don't see it as AA changing, it's more of me changing. It's still the same 12 steps. I just don't practice them with as much ferver and desperation as I did when I first came in

When I first got sober, AA was my life, now it's just one part of my life. It's the foundation which has enabled me to take full advantage of everything the world has to offer. Trying to judge AA as a sick, desperate, and confused 17 year then, and a semi normal 52 year oldie really not fair to AA. I've been around long enough to see how some things tend to get distorted when the stories are retold.

I try to live my life, and see life, as the 'good old day's are tomorrow.

Jersey Nonny

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Not much has actually changed in AA but the people.

Gotcha, AAGuy...Of course, there are more young people coming in with more than alcohol abuse to deal with. I guess, because I had two drug addicted sons, I was more open-minded than the oldtimers back then. It used to make me very uncomfortable when newcomers didn't dare mention drugs. I liked the expression, "Alcohol was my drug of choice." To me, a drug is a drug is a drug. I think the "pure alcoholics" are becoming more accepting because, as you say, the people have changed.

"Whenever anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of A.A. always to be there."

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when I got sober in 88,more focus was put on chapter 5 and beyond

I got sober in 79, Tommy, and I don't remember that being the case, although I don't doubt that your recollection is probably true. Could be because 1 - 4 was more an introduction to AA and a prelude to the program of recovery starting in Chapter 5. I doubt there are too many AA's who have committed to memory anything in the first four chapters; but, even I (after so many years) can recite word for word sections of The Big Book, because I was so immersed in the "meat" of the program.

As I recall, The Big Book meetings, skipped over 1 -4 and got right down to Chapter 5.

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My last drink was on December 24, 1977. I was a very sick 17 year old.

My gosh, Db...you quit at an age when I was just getting started on a long road that led to my dry date of November 15, 1979. And, to quit on Christmas Eve? Double Kudos to you! Although, as sick as you must have been, you might not even have noticed the significance of the day, other than that you were desperate for help.

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It's still the same 12 steps. I just don't practice them with as much ferver and desperation as I did when I first came in.

For me, I think the steps have simply become a way of life...I practice them pretty much automatically without even realizing it. Actually, I think there comes a time in sobriety that we live the steps, rather than practicing them.

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Trying to judge AA as a sick, desperate, and confused 17 year then, and a semi normal 52 year oldie really not fair to AA. I've been around long enough to see how some things tend to get distorted when the stories are retold.

I try to live my life, and see life, as the 'good old day's are tomorrow.

It was never my intent to "judge AA". I was simply reaching out to those who have been sober for a while to see if they remembered anything "different" back then, compared to "AA today." Naturally, different people may tend to remember things differently...it doesn't necessarily mean their stories are "distorted," intentionally or otherwise.

I believe it was Carly Simon who sang about, "These are The Good Old Days."

I'm so happy for you, Tommy, that you managed to save a big part of your life that I sadly drank away. At 80 years of age, it seems a lifetime ago since I walked into my first AA meeting. I'm grateful that, to whatever extent I've been able to set a positive example, at least two of my three adult children are clean and sober through the programs of AA and NA.

Jersey Nonny

Thanks to everyone for sharing.

UpperbucksAAguy

I judge AA all the time. I don't think it is a bad thing to do. AA ( the fellowship especially) is not infallible

Boleo

That sounds very - very - very spiritual.

Boleo

Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to count the stars in the sky than the lazy-bums and con-artists at non-literature meetings.

UpperbucksAAguy

They are in literature meetings as well, perhaps more

simplyfab

I think I can put myself in this category. I got sober in Nov of '10. Stayed sober for almost a year, then relapsed a month before what would've been my first sober birthday.
In that and throughout that year, I did see me constantly being on SR, posting and chatting as somewhat of a 'sober' plan. I wasn't going to AA or attending group or going to therapy for myself, but kinda justified all of it by saying "well, Im on this recovery site that I visit daily and I'm reading, chatting, interacting and dealing with alcoholism daily, with other alcoholics."
After I relapsed, I realized that I was sober, but not recovering.
I absolutely love SR and everything it and its memebers offer. This place is truly a blessing. But I was using this site as an excuse not to work on me. For various reasons, but reasons (excuses) nontheless.

tomsteve

welp, i am a greenhorn at 7 years, but i can share a bit of what i have learned.
there was a meeting i attended that was very strict at keeping the talk on either the topic or problems relating to alcoholism.o if a person got off track and start rambling on, they were cut off, politely, by the chairperson and asked to get back on track. the meeting had been in existance for about 15 years.
the servants of that meeting changed.
i went to a meeting there and listened to quite a bit of rambling on about absolutely nothing about recovery. i stopped a person rambling on and asked the group iffen they felt the talk had anything to do with recovery. i was told," if it helps them stay sober, then we let them talk." the sad thing was that me and a few others( with a LOT more time in than me) thought we were listening to people talking about their next drunk.
that meeting doesnt exist any more.