Average everyday scumbag....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Laurel, MD
Posts: 8
Average everyday scumbag....
Hello. I'm a very unhappily married 32yo Soldier in MD. I have an INCREDIBLE wife, who tends to take the brunt of my alcohol fueled rage, and my frequent forays into unscrupulous online activities.
I'm getting really tired of lying to her, myself, and my friends. I'd like to put my poor behavior, and my use of crutches like alcohol behind me.
I hope to learn from this board, and embrace the challenges ahead.
I'm getting really tired of lying to her, myself, and my friends. I'd like to put my poor behavior, and my use of crutches like alcohol behind me.
I hope to learn from this board, and embrace the challenges ahead.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 181
i have a wonderful boyfriend who takes the brunt of my anger through drink, i stopped drinking wine after i physically attacked him so stuck to just lager. im surprised hes still with me but hes been brilliant. iv always been an honest trustworthy person but the last year or so the drink has turned me into a bitch. i have lied to my mam by asking to borrow money and saying it was for household stuff when infact it was to buy drink, i constantly promise my family stuff but let them down, and its all through drink. i am not that person and hate being like that so i have now seeked help because if i dont im either gona rip my family apart and have them hate me or im going to die and i dont want either as my family have been a rock to me and i love them all so much. if you believe you have a problem seek help as such problems can have you despising people which might be why you feel you are unhappily married.spmetimes i wont even let my boyfriend come near me and its not beacsue i dont love him its because i just dont want contact with anyone including my own mother. i tend to feel like i just want to be alone and have no one speak to me or even touch me. i dont know if your the same but yoiu say your unhappily married yet you have a fantastic wife which shows me that you love her but your drink has caused a distance between youse
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,574
Welcome elgato! Alcohol abuse turned me into someone I didn't even recognize. I had to get sober to figure out who I was, and what I wanted from life. I hope you'll find opening up here at SR will ease your stress, and help you to grow and change. We all understand what you're going through. You can make this change, and find yourself again.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
Welcome to SR!
Just in case you are interested, Laurel has a Club at 102 Washington Blvd, second floor, Greenbelt, Columbia, Silver Spring, DC, all have excellent meetings. The 180 Club is in Hyatsville and has it's own website, or call 202-966-9115 (Washington Area Intergroup Association--WAIA) for other meetings in the area.
Glad you are here!
Just in case you are interested, Laurel has a Club at 102 Washington Blvd, second floor, Greenbelt, Columbia, Silver Spring, DC, all have excellent meetings. The 180 Club is in Hyatsville and has it's own website, or call 202-966-9115 (Washington Area Intergroup Association--WAIA) for other meetings in the area.
Glad you are here!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Laurel, MD
Posts: 8
Thank you for the welcome, and the resources. The Clubs in that area will definitely be helpful. In the meantime, I'm going to school in North Carolina, and I'm really hoping to use this as an opportunity to get clean once and for all.
And to clear it up - I'm unhappily married, because I know that she deserves better and I've yet to prove my ability to follow through with my goals - I NEED to clean up my life, so that I can truly commit to OUR life - my wife is a Saint.
And to clear it up - I'm unhappily married, because I know that she deserves better and I've yet to prove my ability to follow through with my goals - I NEED to clean up my life, so that I can truly commit to OUR life - my wife is a Saint.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Maryland
Posts: 120
welcome to SR, elgato. i am also in your area, and if you feel AA would be helpful, check out Baltimore Intergroup Council of Alcoholics Anonymous
there are some great meetings around our area
much luck to you- keep posting!
there are some great meetings around our area
much luck to you- keep posting!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Singapore
Posts: 737
Originally Posted by elgato65 
Thank you for the welcome, and the resources. The Clubs in that area will definitely be helpful. In the meantime, I'm going to school in North Carolina, and I'm really hoping to use this as an opportunity to get clean once and for all.
And to clear it up - I'm unhappily married, because I know that she deserves better and I've yet to prove my ability to follow through with my goals - I NEED to clean up my life, so that I can truly commit to OUR life - my wife is a Saint.
And to clear it up - I'm unhappily married, because I know that she deserves better and I've yet to prove my ability to follow through with my goals - I NEED to clean up my life, so that I can truly commit to OUR life - my wife is a Saint.
You are not the problem, your dis-ease is.
You wouldn't call yourself a scumbag if you were struck by lightning after playing a round of golf would you? OK, sure, if you played golf every day for the last ten years even after being struck by lightning 60 previous times, maybe we could run with "he's a little slow". But scumbag? Nope. You're nowhere near a member of that club, at least that's my bet.
Having said that, if you tell me you're a fan of the Boston Bruins....
Good luck elgato, you've joined a great forum if quitting is truly your goal. Try not to beat yourself up over the past. Someone here told me once that when we lament over our past or worry over our future, we are - by default - pi$$ing on today. Still strikes a profound chord to me.
*Grateful*
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,619
Welcome ElGato!! Alcohol made me an ugly person too, however the good news is God can redeem you! Welcome to the boards, your transparency is refreshing.
Lily
PS My husband is a Saint too and now I feel like I am the life partner to him God always intended me to be. He is so forgiving and while I at times feel as if I do not deserve him, I am so grateful for him.
Lily
PS My husband is a Saint too and now I feel like I am the life partner to him God always intended me to be.
He is so forgiving and while I at times feel as if I do not deserve him, I am so grateful for him.
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