BoozeFree

Ive been around SR for a couple years and tried several times getting sober on my own and only made it about 2 1/2 months at the most. Now currently with 20days I feel like I need to keep making changes in order to stay sober and one of those changes being getting to meetings and working a program. I get so much anxiety though when I pull into the parking lot. I've driven to 4 different meetings but just can't get out of the car. I don't feel comfortable in a room of strangers after isolating the past 7yrs drinking all day by myself. I know there must be a reason for me driving there but need a lil motivation getting inside the meeting. I really want sobriety to last and get a sponsor and work the steps but have become so shy. Any tips for getting over this fear I have?

EricL

In some regards, I feel like we just have to force ourselves to make that first admission. Walk through those doors with our heads held high, because in surrender we find a solution. Walking through those doors for the first time is odd, on one side of the threshold is fear and isolation, on the other is true freedom from that which ails us. It's simply the doubt and insanity between my ears that keeps me on the first side of that threshold.

Go tomorrow, go early and catch the people hanging around outside. Talk to them, then you aren't walking in alone but shoulder to shoulder with people seeking the same solution for the same problem.

Try calling intergroup and arranging a ride, someone to take you. Kinda the same principle as catching the people beforehand. Or, vice versa, when you call see if there are any oldtimers that need a ride themselves and maybe you can drive. Doing something, being of service to another person seems to work well in alleviating things for me.

And, its never too early to start talking with god. Ask for help in having this fear removed.

Whatever you decide, stick with it and keep us posted.

awuh1

What I would consider is calling the local AA office and asking someone to come out and speak with you about AA. See how that goes. If you feel comfortable with that person, perhaps ask to speak with them again to get to know um better. At some point ask if its ok to go to a meeting with them. Tell them what your afraid of (speaking or being asked a question, or whatever). They can then help you with whatever it is. This makes it far easier (though still not altogether painless). So many folks have your same fear. The people at the meetings are typically very sensitive to new people. Let us know how it goes.

uncle holmes

Another option is to go to a so called "Open AA meeting." That's where they have an AA speaker for 45-60 min and they don't break up into tables and you don't have to talk. Everyone just listens to the speaker. You also don't have to be an alcoholic to go to these meetings.

I too have some social anxiety and in the beginning these open meetings helped because I didn't have to worry about facing people and talking. Just went there to listen.

tomsteve

ok, a lil brutal motivation. if ya dont get some courage, alcohol will kill you.


maybe show up real early and wait for the 1st person to show up and walk up, introduce yourself and walk in with that person. i did that for about the 1st month. sat there with quite a bit of fear as others started showing up, but kept the courage. it was a blessing to find my home.

i was called shyboy in highschool and thought i was shy for a long time. found out i was just afraid of what others thought of me. no afraid of that anymore.

CarolD

I asked a friend to join me at my first meeting...I too was nervous.

Perhaps knowing what happens in meetings will ease your mind

Your First AA Meeting<

I'm so pleaswd you are off on a fresh start and willing to explore AA

BP44

What have you been willing to do to get a glass of booze?

missylou

I understand what you are going thru. I don't exactly do the same thing, but I do fear walking into a meeting. I have developed a lonely life for myself due to my drinking & I believe WE need people. Maybe remember that those people inside NEED you too!

NYCDoglvr

Everyone in the rooms was where you are now. Are there beginner meetings locally? If not just stroll into one and sit down. You don't have to talk. When the meeting ends as a man to sponsor you. Congratulations!

Lumin

don't forget the secret password and handshake...

kidding, though I'm much like you and the others that have posted here. That first meeting after being away or simply having never been, oy, it's a challenge to walk through those doors. But once you do, ay, it becomes immediately easier to go again.

My trick always was to find a meeting and hide in the corner the first few times. It's kind of a low-pressure way to see what they're up to and if it's your kind of thing or not.

You'll probably meet some other people who are *just like you* in that we all isolate way too much and everyone I met has a dread of their first meeting or first time back after heading out. Last time I made a friend drive me and wait while I went inside. How's that for courage? lol

Trust me, if you go in and you don't want to talk to anyone and just sit and listen everyone will understand. We've all been there. I don't know a single alcoholic who tap-danced their way into their first meeting...

BoozeFree

Thanks everyone for the inspiring words. Ended up working way later then expected due to an emergency case but tomorrow after work I plan on giving AA another try.

LoremIpsum

Thanks for posting this. I have been sober four days and I've been to four meetings – but each time with the same friend who I asked for help in the first place. Tonight I'm going alone for the first time and I'm terrified. I needed to be reminded that other people get scared too.

tomsteve

no need to have fear. we are there to share our common problem and help others recover from alcoholism, but i was scared crapless in the beginning. fear of the unknown! all it took was some courage to do whatever i had to do to stop drinking.
you may want to show up early( like 30 minutes). it helped me to get into the meeting before more people showed up.
its all good!!! what doesnt hurt ya will help ya and them people and the program of AA will help ya iffen ya want it.

LoremIpsum

Thanks. I went and it was awesome – the best meeting I've been too.

Sorry to take over your thread, BoozeFree. Have you made it yet? Don't worry if you haven't – it's taken me years to get there.