cangel2

This probably qualifies as a vent post. I am so much further along in my codie recovery than this but I am am having a total emotional melt down about it all. My brother almost died two years ago from withdrawals from alcohol. I paid for 30 days in a rehab for him..(he skipped after three weeks) and then he paid me back for part of it. He has maintained he has been sober now for 2 years.....I know that to be a lie and after the last episode he admitted it to me...finally. I do not support him....I don't send him money...I just listen and talk when he needs support.

Last month I gave him the gift of a trip to visit me ( for his 50th B'day). Told him I would pay for his gas to drive down or a flight....which ever he wanted within a particular "cost range". He took me up on it and was excited about visiting....coming here the first week of June. Then he back tracked...too busy...stuff going on...appointment with a counselor.. Ok...me ... no problem. Open invitation. So then he burns up my phone for two weeks....all needy ....drunk a couple of times....all worried about the therapist session....and now totally gone...not responding, no feed back after the therapist appointment. Nothing....

So what do you do? I am not financially supporting this person, I am only here for moral support.....I have no vested interest. How do I deal with this?

Ignore him when he does reach out? Talk to him?

It is so frustrating......

dollydo

Sometimes going no contact is the answer...for both of you. It doesn't have to be a life sentence, however, a break may help him wake up and give your time to re-evalute the entire relationship.