IFS Therapy? Experiences?
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Join Date: Dec 2011
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IFS Therapy? Experiences?
I found a therapist to work with...although I don't know for how long...it is SO expensive!!
Anyway, she uses IFS (internal family systems) therapy. I've never heard of it.
Has anyone had any experiences good or bad that they can share?
Anyway, she uses IFS (internal family systems) therapy. I've never heard of it.
Has anyone had any experiences good or bad that they can share?
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
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Hello RedCandle 
I guess nobody has experience with IFS. I don't want you to feel ignored, a lot of people have read your post but nobody has anything to contribute.
IFS is just one of many, many types of family therapy. There's _hundreds_ of these variations. The fundamentals of all family therapy are the same; how people in a family get into "roles" when they interact with each other. The "roles" are sometimes forced upon the children, and when they grow up they are not even aware of those roles.
The classic example is a family that continuously forces a child to play a musical instrument in the hopes that the child will become a wealthy performer. The child grows up and expects their own children to continuously strive for financial success.
The first therapist to popularize this whole concept of "roles" and exploit popular marketing as a form of advertising his own practice was Eric Berne. He called his variation "Transactional Analysis" and wrote a book called "Games People Play".
It is fairly common nowadays for a therapist to "package" their practice into some kind of variation in order to stand out from all the other therapists. A lot of them will publish a book, go on the lecture circuit, do some "motivational speaking", and otherwise advertise their practice. It's kind of like a lawyer who puts up a sign by the freeway that says "Traffic accident? I can help". You can even hire marketing companies to do it for you.
The best way to find a therapist that will be good for _you_ and your specific needs is the same way you find a plumber. Ask people who have used their services. When it comes to addictions and families the best way to find a referal is to ask at a meeting of al-anon, nar-anon, or CODA. Pretty much everybody in a meet has a therapist, or two. Those who don't have a therapist _are_ a therapist
It really doesn't matter if a plumber uses a No5 spanner or a 3/4 inch monkey wrench. What matters is that they fix the leak. Same thing with a therapist. What they call their practice is irrelevant, what matters is that they actually _help_ you resolve the issues you need fixing.
Mike
Moderator, SR
I guess nobody has experience with IFS. I don't want you to feel ignored, a lot of people have read your post but nobody has anything to contribute.
IFS is just one of many, many types of family therapy. There's _hundreds_ of these variations. The fundamentals of all family therapy are the same; how people in a family get into "roles" when they interact with each other. The "roles" are sometimes forced upon the children, and when they grow up they are not even aware of those roles.
The classic example is a family that continuously forces a child to play a musical instrument in the hopes that the child will become a wealthy performer. The child grows up and expects their own children to continuously strive for financial success.
The first therapist to popularize this whole concept of "roles" and exploit popular marketing as a form of advertising his own practice was Eric Berne. He called his variation "Transactional Analysis" and wrote a book called "Games People Play".
It is fairly common nowadays for a therapist to "package" their practice into some kind of variation in order to stand out from all the other therapists. A lot of them will publish a book, go on the lecture circuit, do some "motivational speaking", and otherwise advertise their practice. It's kind of like a lawyer who puts up a sign by the freeway that says "Traffic accident? I can help". You can even hire marketing companies to do it for you.
The best way to find a therapist that will be good for _you_ and your specific needs is the same way you find a plumber. Ask people who have used their services. When it comes to addictions and families the best way to find a referal is to ask at a meeting of al-anon, nar-anon, or CODA. Pretty much everybody in a meet has a therapist, or two. Those who don't have a therapist _are_ a therapist
It really doesn't matter if a plumber uses a No5 spanner or a 3/4 inch monkey wrench. What matters is that they fix the leak. Same thing with a therapist. What they call their practice is irrelevant, what matters is that they actually _help_ you resolve the issues you need fixing.
Mike
Moderator, SR
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 148
Oh thank you!!! So nice to get a response!
Well...I found this woman through my insurance.
$50/session, 50 minutes...I am very concerned about how I will be able to keep this up.
I have not had a full session yet...just a consultation. She says she has worked with many FAMILIES of addicts but not addicts. Then she threw out the IFS thing and said that I would do most of the talking...about my "parts."
Now, the control freak in me was thinking, "Where is my workbook? What is our action plan? How will we measure progress???"
I suppose I can try a session and change if needed. I guess I'm just trying to figure out if these "techniques" are all just fancy lingo...not backed by a great deal of efficacy.
Well...I found this woman through my insurance.
$50/session, 50 minutes...I am very concerned about how I will be able to keep this up.
I have not had a full session yet...just a consultation. She says she has worked with many FAMILIES of addicts but not addicts. Then she threw out the IFS thing and said that I would do most of the talking...about my "parts."
Now, the control freak in me was thinking, "Where is my workbook? What is our action plan? How will we measure progress???"
I suppose I can try a session and change if needed. I guess I'm just trying to figure out if these "techniques" are all just fancy lingo...not backed by a great deal of efficacy.
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Originally Posted by RedCandle 
... $50/session, 50 minutes...I am very concerned about how I will be able to keep this up....
Originally Posted by RedCandle
... Now, the control freak in me was thinking, "Where is my workbook? What is our action plan? How will we measure progress???"...
Having an action plan and a measure of progress is fairly standard in therapy. Usually you set up specific goals depending on the issues being discussed. For example if the family has a teenager and the Father and teenager are always yelling at each other then the first goal is no yelling. The next goal is no cussing. Next would be both apologizing for previous cussing. Way at the end of many intermediate goals would be actual communication.
Originally Posted by RedCandle
...I guess I'm just trying to figure out if these "techniques" are all just fancy lingo...not backed by a great deal of efficacy. ...
All the techniques in the world won't do you any good if the therapist is incompetent. Which is why I suggest shopping around. Most therapists will give you the first consultation for free. Just getting half a dozen free consultations will give you a _huge_ appreciation of the differences between therapists and their approaches.
When you find a therapist that "connects" well with you it's something you will notice immediately. You will come out of the consultation feeling that this person truly understands you, and you will also have a couple tips and suggestions from that person that you sit back and say "why didn't _I_ think of that?" It should feel like you just talked to a wise grand-mother, or a really sharp uncle. Someone that understands you like a relative would, but a kind and wise relative, not the dysfunctional relatives some families have
Mike
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IFS or internal family systems isn't a family therapy necessarily. It's a form of therapy that uses the family therapy model on an individual. The "parts" mentioned are unique to the individual, just like family members are unique themselves. They are the inner workings of your personality. I've been attending IFS therapy for several months and have made incredible progress. I agree that progress is not entirely due to a treatment but also requires a good therapist. All I'm saying is that IFS is amazing. the result for me is a clearer understanding of why I react to things the way I do, and that awareness allows me to control myself. To track this process I would journal the changes you feel. You don't need a therapist to tell you you feel better. This is not a quick fix though so the cost is tough.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
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Information about IFS therapy
Hello! Just wanted to let you know where you can receive some more information about IFS therapy. I am a therapist who has used this model for many years with good success. You should make sure that the therapist you are seeing has been through a Basic Training through the Center for Self Leadership. If not, I would find someone else. The model is user-friendly, but the therapist needs to have gone through the "official" training in order to really use it effectively. You can find additional information at the website for the Center for Self Leadership. You can google it as I am unable to post links yet. Center for Self Leadership, IFS Therapy. Dick Schwartz is the creator of the model.
IFS uses family therapy methods to help people re-organize their thoughts, beliefs, feelings in order to be able to live their lives from a position of leadership. It's methods really work to cut-down on "firefighting" behaviors like drinking, overeating, cutting - stuff that "numbs" us when we are overwhelmed. It also helps us to recognize how we "manage" our lives in ways that prevent us from having flexibility with others, or to be more compassionate, calm, centered. Finally, it is a safe method to heal and unburden some of the hurts that we have carried for many years, and that constrain ourselves from fulling living in the present. I wish you good luck. I'm glad you found IFS - and hope your practitioner helps you! It changed my life.
IFS uses family therapy methods to help people re-organize their thoughts, beliefs, feelings in order to be able to live their lives from a position of leadership. It's methods really work to cut-down on "firefighting" behaviors like drinking, overeating, cutting - stuff that "numbs" us when we are overwhelmed. It also helps us to recognize how we "manage" our lives in ways that prevent us from having flexibility with others, or to be more compassionate, calm, centered. Finally, it is a safe method to heal and unburden some of the hurts that we have carried for many years, and that constrain ourselves from fulling living in the present. I wish you good luck. I'm glad you found IFS - and hope your practitioner helps you! It changed my life.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1
I agree, IFS is still changing my life everyday. As my therapist describes it, it is like a closed flower opening up again by opening one leave at a time (the parts). You can't go straight to the 'problematic' parts if you don't address the parts that lay on top. It's beautiful and it works!
What I'm still wondering about though is the comparison with other parts-oriented therapies (like TA). Other therapies seem to make more specific distinctions between the parts, whereas IFS makes a more general distinction and also lets the client make its own attributions. Does anyone have an opinion about that?
What I'm still wondering about though is the comparison with other parts-oriented therapies (like TA). Other therapies seem to make more specific distinctions between the parts, whereas IFS makes a more general distinction and also lets the client make its own attributions. Does anyone have an opinion about that?
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