Healthyfood

Im sober now for 132 days and have no friends left. Its nice to be sober, but its awful to be alone.
AA and meet up are not for me.

So Ive decided to join slimming world local group. I think I will definitely find new friends there. Ive got slight problem Im fit already. Unless I wear super tight top I look very fit.

Will they accept me? Im worried, but I desperately want to find new friends, any friends. :ghug3

sugarbear1

Of course they will accept you! They may be a bit jealous, but you'll be okay!

I think you made a great choice. Are there any other groups you'd want to join? Yoga, reading club, something else?

I'm starting to meet more women and today I feel that I do have more real friends than I've had in years (not just drinking buddies who don't want to feel they are different, but it was all about drinking!).

Congrats!! and relax!

Healthyfood

sugarbear1

I really hope they will accept me.

I am researching other group activities currently.

All Im trying to do is to be out there and meet people, does not even matter what the activity is.

Dee74

We've all accepted you - you have a lot of friends here - why would anywhere else be any different HF?

D

Healthyfood

Dee,

Thank you!

I hope I don't look silly: fit person attending slimming world evening classes.

sugarbear1

If you work the steps, it's about accepting ourselves. Once we accept ourselves, the world opens up in a whole new way!

Healthyfood

sugarbear1

I like what you just said. What is the best book to ready about 12 steps? Im willing to do anything to live normal life.

Anna

You can always look to doing volunteer work in your community.

That's a great way to meet new and sober people.

Scolova

I'm in the same boat at 8 months (and I'm sure many of 'us' are there or have been). I have an old friend that chats with me on facebook he wants me to come over and hang out every now and then, but he and his group of friends still drink &\or smoke pot. So that's not gonna happen.
I've got new neighbors moving in on both sides of our house and that is taking some getting use to, I became an introvert (big time) over the last 15 years and I've never made friends easily before that. I've just never been very good at social interaction, although since quitting I am getting better.

Healthyfood

Scolova

Its not only me then. Im not sure how to attract new friends. Seems like everyone else got their friends since their childhood. I hope this changes as I really want to have friends.

WarriorQueen

I know how that is... I don't have any friends and my boyfriend is the only person I talk to outside my family. I have no clue how to talk to people, much less make friends.
*hugs*

Healthyfood

WarriorQueen

So my conclusion is that sobriety comes with "no friends" result. Very upsetting.

Im not sure even how to find the perfect boyfriend/ husband.

england

Good to find a fellow Brit on this board

I'm also looking for new friends but its taken me several months to actually make the effort as I've needed to work on myself first but I am now actively seeking some.

I decided to give evening classes a try as its something totally different and I need to improve my Excel skill set - hopefully I will meet some interesting people, if not then I will try something else.

My shrink also suggested trying meditation as it will help me relax so I am attending a beginers lesson next weekend - its only £2 so it wont break the bank.

I would suggest compiling a list of activities you enjoy and give them a try - you have nothing to lose and everything to gain

Healthyfood

england

Where about you are?

I will definitely try evening classes starting with slimming world. There are so many groups available. So many close to my house.

Ive tried meditating before, its not easy, I can't calm my mind down, so many thoughts in and out.

Sapling

It takes practice Healthyfood...Google some different methods. You were asking about the 12 steps....That's AA. I know you aren't into meetings...But here is the book if you want to look at it. Read it from the beginning...The directions for the steps are in the first 103 pages.

The text of Alcoholics Anonymous

scrambled2012

Hi Healthy,

All in all, organizational involvement seems like the best way to go on this challange. It is true that it's a lot easier to make friends when younger, but that's because there is a lot more on the line and we are much wiser when older. It makes sense, ya know.

That said, I have come to honestly believe that I best know people by working with them to accomplish someting. I've actually been working since I was 15, so in many ways my (somewhat transiant) friendships have always been based on this source. Sadly, when the job ends, so do the relationships. I think that is a defect in me and not a generalized thing, however.

Found a cool link out of England that might interest you:
I want to volunteer - Volunteering England

There are also political groups (don't you go joining the Communists on me now!), or you could get a second job of some kind in a field totally alian to what you have done in the past; or check out book clubs, or take a class at a local facility~~

keep it up; things will get better.

See you on the boards~~~~~

DryScotsman

Personally I now prefer my own company.

I cut a lot of people off when I sobered up as some weren't healthy to be around and some were mocking my stopping drinking (thinking I would see it as a joke). My Facebook friends are down to 15 and I have never been happier!

Healthyfood

DryScotsman

Your comment is very inspiring. What do I need to do to enjoy my own company? Its lonely. I don't have even a partner at the moment.

scrambled2012

When I read a good book, I never feel alone....

Healthyfood

scrambled2012

Im trying to read and watch tv, its still not good. I really want friends around me.