LDT

Scramble's suggestion of volunteering is a good one. Do you like animals?Our local pet shelters are always begging for volunteers. Gyms are excellent places to meet new friends....and chances are they won't be drinking or drugging at the gym. Churches are a good way to meet people, as are book clubs. I actually hooked up with some interesting new friends simply by walking in the park a few weeks ago. ( Ended up dancing bollywood with them.)

Being sober doesn't equal being boring. Even if you feel you are shy, try just for an afternoon "pretending" you are not. See how that feels.Talk to everyone you meet.

And don't worry about finding the perfect husband or boyfriend. When the time is right, they will find you.

hypochondriac

It takes years to form proper friendships HF, just get out there and have some fun. Do the classes for the sake of doing the classes and meeting new people. Don't set your expectations too high or try to rush things. You're doing all the right things. Regarding being happy in your own company, that takes time and practice too. Do stuff that you really enjoy doing that maybe other people wouldn't like. The best thing about being on your own is that you can do whatever you want! x

Healthyfood

LDT

I do like animals, but its upsetting to see them in shelters. I went to local one and just could not be there.

neferkamichael

Healthfood 132 days? You are FANTASTIC. Congratulations. Today I'm 1 year 11 months sober, 4 days no cigarettes, no coffe with loads of sugar since May 22nd, and tomorrow 9 months off crack. I don't have a single friend left from that old life, and I hope I make a new friend right here, right now! Hang on SR and you'll make plenty of friends.

regeneration

healthyfood.. have a virtual hug.

It is hard when you feel you have no friends. I remember many years ago in my late 20s splitting up with a guy I'd been with for 3 years, he'd bullied me and at the end of it I'd cut-off what friends I had. It took me up to 6 months to start getting to know people again, but I did it, and I was shy.

I think if you start looking at what you'd like to do then just go out and try it e.g. running clubs, night classes, yoga classes.

I also found the local council swimming pool and sauna/stream room really good when I lived up north for a bit and didn't know many people (for chatting to guys amazingly.. and it was nice to meet people that weren't drunk in British pubs). I went with my mate regularly and alone, you'll get to see the same people and get chatting.

I'm doing a writing class at the moment, and managed to even surprise myself by asking one of the women there if she wanted to come to a literary night with me... once you start trying different things you'll find your feet. Just do nice things for yourself while you are at home as well so you start to enjoy your own company.

To calm my mind down and deal with difficult feelings I started mindfulness classes just after stopping drinking, it's helping me, have you got anything like that nearby?

Good luck, you are doing well (especially with all that sober time), you're bound to have times like this, but it can be changed.

DryScotsman

Thanks - the following works for me:

I read a lot, I joined my local library and get a minimum of three books a week out - some fiction, some historical (for variation). I go for a walk every day - even if only for 10 minutes as it is a great way to recharge my batteries.

I cook a lot now - I always did but now I challenge myself to cook new dishes and have taken up baking! I also write a lot, sometimes a few lines, sometimes pages about my feelings and hopes and fears. I find that I can be more honest when I write and it is cleansing.

Music is my main passion for when I am down or stressed. Make up some compilations of your favourite uplifting and feelgood music - I go for the Blues but I am weird that way!

Life for us sober folk can be very lonely at times but I am content with limited interaction with others when at the shops or talking to my friends occasionally. Popping into the forum here is also a great way to interact if you get lonely.

2granddaughters

Attending AA meetings regularly taught me how to interact with people and begin to be restored to sanity.
I don't know where I would be without my AA friends.

All the best.

Bob R

Healthyfood

Thank you all for support. I will definitely got to slimming world first class on Wednesday. Look forward to that.

I can see that most of you do something that you've never done before. Its great.